Friday, July 29, 2016

My New Address


I've decided to switch addresses. Here's my new url. I'm looking forward to seeing everybody at http://eatingdoginkorea.blogspot.com  Thanks. And God bless.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Koreans Still Eat Dogs

(Koreans eat dogs during the summer.)

Yesterday, I went to a Thai restaurant for dinner. The meal was a little too ethnic for my taste. For instance, this particular eatery fries its fish with the head and tail still in place. Plus all of the rice was curried. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I'm wonderful that way.

We went to the roof of my brother-in-law's apartment to drink beer. My wife yelled at my eldest son because of his grades. His marks aren't that bad. He's just an average kid. But she wants him to become a Harvard trained doctor. Good luck with that. I'm not a helicopter parent. If he doesn't want to study, he can always join the United States Air Force. He's a bright kid who speaks two languages. They'd love to have him. Besides, most college degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty nihilist. I asked The Savior to protect my wife. The Dragon Lady hates Taiwan--including the cuisine. This vacation is driving her crazy. I have a sneaky suspicion that she will soon be fighting with her sister-in-law. I stay out of family squabbles. I prefer drinking beer and listening to music.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I surfed the internet while enjoying a bathroom break. Two woman from England are protesting in Seoul over the consumption of dog meat. They believe that eating man's-best-friend is an act of barbarism. I like dogs. But I'm not really an animal person. We can focus on our four-legged buddies after human suffering has been eliminated.

I turned on CNN. It was the second day of the Democratic National Convention. Bill Clinton was the main attraction. He talked about meeting his lesbian wife back in 1971. He made that bitter old whore sound like a sweet little girl. But we know better. This world has been taken over by multi-national corporations. And she's got her tongue right up the asshole of Goldman Sachs. I can't believe that people are stupid enough to actually vote for her.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Korean Police Officer Arrested for Public Masturbation

(Van Jones is a little bitch.)

Yesterday, I went to a noodle shop for dinner. I had to walk there. Walking in Taipei is scary shit. The streets are overrun with aggressive Chinamen on motorbikes. But I made it to the restaurant safely. The meal was pretty damn good. The noodles were served in a thick beef broth. Plus the soup was loaded with tons of meat. A good time was had by all.

I went home and read a book called Stormbird. The author is a guy named Conn Iggulden. He writes lots of historical fiction. Stormbird is about the Wars of the Roses. I love historical fiction because I'm big into escapism. I often enjoy pretending that I'm a powerful duke who oppresses the local peasants. When they get out of line, I have them beheaded with a wave of my hand. After that, I return to my castle and eat cake.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, not a lot of people get to see Taipei. This is a unique Asian metropolis filled with lots of good food and tasty alcohol. In fact, I would urge all of my readers to go out and buy a bottle of Taiwan Beer. It's wonderful. Things could always be worse. At least I'm not back in America facing eight years of a Clinton presidency. Piss on that.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 9 p.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I surfed the internet while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean policeman was arrested for masturbating in public during a bus ride. Recently, a Korean baseball player was arrested on the same charge. I hope this isn't a trend. The officer admitted his guilt. However, he says his memory is foggy because he drank a lot of soju that night.

I turned on CNN. The Democratic National Convention is now in full swing. Michelle Obama delivered a speech saying that she'd trust her children to live in a village run by Hillary Clinton. What a crock of shit. Hillary's a criminal who's married to a rapist. I wouldn't let her help my kids to cross the street. But the liberals love Michelle. Van Jones was moved to tears. He's such a little misty-eyed bitch.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Debbie Wasserman Schultz Screws Bernie in His Elderly Ass

(Debbie Wasserman Schultz is now working directly for Hillary.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a place called Ximending. We went to a restaurant famous for the hot pot. Beef and seafood are boiled in spicy broth right before your eyes. I ate a lot of shrimp and scallops. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Taiwan Beer. We stayed in the eatery for nearly three hours. Then a waitress timidly told us to leave. We had worn out our welcome. Oh well. The good times can't last forever.

The Dragon Lady went shopping for clothes. She bought me several t-shirts which promote Taiwan. Each piece of clothing came to five dollars. Not bad. It's tough to find stuff in my size. I'm a husky young lad. I currently weigh more than 240 pounds. I'll probably die soon. My blood is nothing but bacon grease, and I piss pure alcohol. But I've already given up the tobacco. Soon I'll have nothing left. So what's a boy to do?

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I asked The Savior to protect me from the Dragon Lady. I've been experiencing some chaffing in my private regions due to the heat. My wife decided to cure the problem by rubbing Bengay all over my testicles. She meant well, but the burning was beyond belief. And the pain lasted for more than twenty minutes. I even thought about going to the emergency room. Luckily, I feel fine today.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I had a dream that I was back in high school protecting my friends from militant Muslims. I killed several with a pistol. After that, I expressed my guilt to several bikers whom I had never met. They told me to fuck off.

I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I surfed the internet while enjoying a bathroom break. Many Koreans are upset about THAAD. It's a missile system designed to protect the peninsula from its belligerent northern neighbor. Nobody wants it in their backyard. Still, better safe than sorry. THAAD, in my opinion, is a necessary evil. But what do I know?

I turned on CNN. The DNC screwed Bernie Sanders up the ass...yet again. They thought about painting him as an atheist to help Hillary win the nomination. Debbie Wasserman Schultz has been forced to resign over the hub-bub. However, Hillary gave her crony another job working directly for the campaign. Hillary manages to corrupt everything she touches. That old lesbian one evil bitch.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Into the Heart of Darkness

(The Taipei 101 building.)

Yesterday, we arrived in Taiwan in the late afternoon. My brother-in-law met us at the airport. The heat was sweltering. He took us to the 101 building in his brand new Toyota. We ate some food which was absolutely delicious. I'm not sure of the name of the stuff that was brought to the table, but it was heavy with pork and shrimp. I washed the vittles down with two giant bottles of Taiwan Beer. A good time was had by all.

We drove to the infamous night market. The road was littered with Chinese men and women on mopeds. They swerved in and out of traffic like a bunch of lunatics. I nearly shit my pants. The night market was sheer hell. The streets were loaded with so many people that I could barely move. I even had a difficult time breathing. No kidding. Some asshole threw an elbow at my eldest child. He's lucky I didn't see him. I'd have kneed him right in the balls.



We returned to my brother-in-law's apartment. He's a dirty pagan. Nevertheless, I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy atheist. I thanked The Savior for my many blessings. I'm not handsome or brilliant. But I can still navigate my way through this world without starving to death. Plus I get to eat meat from time to time. Things could always be much worse. I'm just glad my brother-in-law can afford air-conditioning. It's like an oven outside.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 10 a.m. and drank a cup of coffee. Then I surfed the internet while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean man hanged himself at the Manila airport. He was wanted by the powers-that-be for fraud. He decided death was better than jail. I don't understand his actions. Korean prisons aren't that bad. People don't get raped, and they let you smoke. In fact, prison on the peninsula is a nice place to make new friends. His final action was much too drastic.

I turned on CNN. Hillary chose Tim Caine as her running mate. This selection is a real head-scratcher. Caine's just another friend of the big banks, and he does nothing to excite the liberal base of the party. Bernie must be shitting in his pants right now. The democratic movers-and-shakers have ass-raped him since he threw his hat in the ring. That old bastard can't buy a break.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now and God bless everybody.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Van Jones Is a Communist

(I'd like to piss on Van Jones's mailbox.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady spent the day looking for plane tickets. So I had to cook for myself. I prepared eggs, hash-browns, and fried bread for dinner. The meal was absolutely delicious. My culinary skills are formidable. Perhaps I'm half-a-fag. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. A good time was had by all.

I read Gary J. Byrne's Crisis of Character. It's a book by a former secret service agent detailing his life with Bill and Hillary Clinton. It's pretty much what one would expect. The White House was filled with disrespectful hippies who were careless with classified material; the gays were hanging rainbow stickers on all of the doors; and, for the coup de grace, Hillary was a heartless bitch who treated everybody like shit. Ho hum. Tell me something I don't know.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I asked The Savior to protect my crazy wife. She's currently scrambling to renew my eldest son's Korean passport. It looks like we'll be flying to Taiwan on Saturday. But who knows? Things have a tendency to go wrong. I just hope they serve free booze on the airplane. I haven't had a glass of Scotch in over seven years.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about driving my Santa Fe in Seoul. I kept saying the word fuck over and over again. The traffic was murder.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Korean Constitutional Court has determined that the recent smoking ban in restaurants is fine and dandy. I gave up tobacco years ago, so I have no dog in this fight. But I miss the good old days. The government used to leave the citizens alone. Now they are constantly in our business. Oh well. What's a boy to do?

I watched the final day of the Republican National Convention. I thought Donald Trump delivered a masterful speech. He hit upon all the major points that are eating away at America's greatness. Our jobs have been shipped overseas. Our brothers and sisters are being targeted by terrorists. And the special interests own our politicians. However, the liberals on CNN are calling The Donald a fascist. The worst offender is Van Jones. I'd like to piss on his mailbox. Fucking communist.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.  

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Ted Cruz Is Still a Dick

(Ted Cruz is truly a prick.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served chicken and French fries for dinner. The poultry was covered in a yellowish hot-sauce. It burned a hole through my tongue. Nevertheless, the meal was quite delicious. I ate every last morsel on my plate. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer on the peninsula.

I watched several episodes of Outlander. The setting for the second season is 18th century France. Maybe I'm half-a-fag, but I love this show. The relationship between Claire and Jamie seems genuinely passionate. Moreover, Black Jack Randall is one of the best antagonists on television. He's twisted and evil. Yet he sees himself as some type of downtrodden hero deserving of pity. Even though the show is written for women, there's enough sex and violence to keep most men interested. Give it a try.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty misanthrope. I asked The Savior to protect my crazy wife. We were supposed to fly to Taiwan, but she brought the wrong passports. The powers-that-be wanted the wanted the children's South Korean passports. We only had the American. Subsequently, we were turned away. She's now scrambling to get a refund.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another dream about defecating in public at Burger King. I dropped a steamer right in the dining area. The customers were horrified.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. There was an editorial supporting Black Lives Matter. The writer believes that African-Americans are singled out and hunted like animals because of the color of their skin. I don't buy any of that bullshit. Young black men are out of control and commit way too many crimes. Therefore, they are targeted by the police. For instance, you never see the cops hassling the Chinese. But what do I know?

I turned on CNN. The Republican National Convention is in full swing. And once again Ted Cruz showed the entire world that he's a complete asshole. He accepted Trump's invitation to speak and proceeded to throw The Donald under the bus in front of a global audience. Talk about a low-class douchebag.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody. 

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Retarded Korean Man Held in Slavery for Twenty Years

(This is a world filled with true demonic evil.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared bacon sandwiches for dinner. The meal was excellent. Bacon is expensive here on the peninsula. Most of the locals don't eat it. Koreans prefer fat-back pork. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite brand of domestic beer.

I watched another episode of Orange Is the New Black. One of the cute Latina inmates is forced to eat a baby mouse by a sadistic prison guard. He holds a gun to her head and threatens to blow her brains out. Meanwhile, the corpse of Voss's attempted assassin is unearthed in the vegetable garden. Orange Is the New Black comes with my highest recommendation. It's a great show.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I asked The Savior to protect my family. Soon, we'll be flying to Taiwan. Airplanes make me nervous. They tend to crash. Oh well. My fate is in the hands of the Almighty. So what's a boy to do? I'll just have to grin and bear it.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A retarded Korean man was held in slavery for twenty years. He was forced to work on a farm for no pay. He was given a dirty hut to sleep in and a little bit of food to keep him from starving to death. This is a sorry world filled with evil men and women. Be careful.

I turned on CNN. France was hit by another terrorist attack. A crazy rag-head from Tunisia killed 84 people with a large truck. He used the rig to run most of his victims over. But he did manage to shoot a few with a small caliber pistol. I've been saying it since I began writing this shitty blog. Muslims are knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who will end up killing us all. Take Trump's advice. Keep them out of America.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Korean Baseball Player Suspended for Public Masturbation

(The Donald seems to like Mike Pence.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared chicken for dinner. The meat was skewered on a long wooden stick. I enjoyed the meal quite a bit. However, my wife's in love with spice. Everything she makes burns a hole through my tongue. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass in my favorite Korean beer.

I watched the Samsung Lions. They were beaten 13-12 by the Lotte Giants. The Lions were very successful last year. However,they're now in last place. But I've got a sneaky suspicion that the team is going to make a comeback. The squad can qualify for the playoffs if they finish in fifth place. After that, anything can happen.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy nihilist. I asked The Savior to protect my wife. Soon, I'm flying to Taiwan with my entire family. I just hope she doesn't turn into a shrieking beast. We'll be staying in the city of Taipei. I plan to drink lots of beer and eat lots of food.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean baseball player drove to a college and found himself entranced by the beauty of a female student. He whipped out his Johnson and proceeded to masturbate as he watched her. The young woman reported him to the police. He's been suspended from baseball for a period of one year.

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump is about to pick his running mate. My money's on Indiana's Mike Pence. The governor is as clean as they come. Plus the evangelicals love him. Gingrich and Christie have too much baggage. They'd be a drag on the campaign. But what do I know? One thing is true about The Donald. He marches to the beat of his own drum.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

North Korean Diplomats Caught Smuggling Rhino Horns Out of Africa

(Asian men eat powdered rhino horn to improve their erections.)

Yesterday, I took my family to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. The food tasted great. All that starch sent me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with a huge glass of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched television. A hip-hop artist called Q-Tip claimed that American policemen are inherently racist. A black rapper who doesn't like the fuzz? What a shock. I could barely believe what I was hearing.

In all seriousness, I have some sage advice for my African-American brothers and sisters. Stop breaking the freaking law. Our jails are overcrowded because you people were never taught how to act properly. If you follow the rules, then you won't have to worry about the police. Plain and simple.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I asked The Savior to protect my wife. She's still having trouble with her Grave's Disease. Next week, we're going on a short vacation to Taiwan. The last thing I need is a high-pitched crazy bitch harshing my buzz. I haven't been on an international trip in years. I could use some fun.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. North Korean diplomats were caught smuggling Rhino horns out of Africa. The horns are grinded into powder and consumed by Asian men to improve the quality of their erections. Poaching brings lots of money to North Korea. The nation is strapped for cash.

I turned on CNN. Bernie Sanders has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. That crap he used to spew about Wall Street and trade didn't amount to a hill of beans. I'm not surprised. Sanders has always been part of the machine. In fact, he's been sucking off the government tit for most of his life. I just hope his backers wake up and smell the coffee. Trump is their best choice.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Another Angry Black Man Misbehaves

(Michah Johnson was a very naughty black man.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared beef and rice for dinner. Sadly, the meal wasn't one of her best efforts. I'm very tired of rice. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like a good little retard. I'm a wonderful husband. I washed the taste away with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer on the peninsula. It goes down nice and smooth.

I watched Orange Is the New Black. Voss and her crazy friend murder a prison guard. After that, they dismember his body and plant the pieces in the prison vegetable garden. Meanwhile, Piper's new friends are white supremacists. I'm happy that my criminal record is spotless. I'd never make it in the penitentiary. I'm far too cute. All the men would be passing me around like a pack of cigarettes. And nothing could be worse than getting anally raped. I'd rather take a bullet in the head.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I asked The Savior to protect my wife. Her mood has suddenly grown darker. Plus her buggy eyes hurt all the time. Graves Disease is hell. Out of control hormones constantly attack the victim's brain. The behavior produced can be downright scary.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about singing in front of a large audience. The tune I picked was Showbiz Kids by Steely Dan. The crowd loved me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Two white people went streaking in Seoul. Of course, they were both drunk off their asses.  The whole thing was filmed on CCTV. The entire peninsula is covered with cameras. The police are now searching for the morons in question. I suspect they'll get fined and deported. But I could be wrong. Koreans are often kind to alcoholics.

I turned on the television. Another black man was killed by the police for misbehaving. His name was Michah Johnson, and he murdered five Dallas police officers with a rifle. Mr.. Johnson was eventually blown up by the powers-that-be. Some view this loon as a hero, claiming that the cops murder minorities every day. Yet most black men are shot down by other black men. I'm not being a racist. Them's just the facts.

Anyway. I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Friday, July 8, 2016

Jon Jones Caught Doping

(Jon Jones is facing a long suspension.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant. We ate twenty-five dollars worth of fried chicken. The meal was fabulous. Not a single morsel was left on our plates. I washed the vittles down with a pitcher of Hite beer. Perhaps I drink too much, but I don't care. Nobody lives forever. A good time was had by all.

I watched television. Jon Jones has been scratched from UFC 200 after being popped for PEDs in his bloodstream. I can't tell you how disappointed I am. Jones is the greatest fighter I've ever seen. He turns martial arts into a form of art. According to Dana White, Jon will probably be suspended for two years. What a waste of talent.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. True. I'm an aging dullard with creaking joints and rotten teeth. But at least I get to eat chicken every once in a while. Lot's of people can't make that claim. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Rwanda.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean student wrote an editorial about gay marriage. She believes that Korea isn't truly an advanced nation because sodomites still face discrimination. Only straight people are allowed to tie the knot here on the peninsula. She went on to say that two men enjoying anal sex is no different than the bond between a husband and wife. 

I turned on CNN. Another black man was killed by the police. This is the second incident in two days. The loony left is screaming racism. But I'm not joining the bandwagon. The victim in Baton Rouge had a concealed weapon in his pocket. And the unfortunate man in Minnesota had a pistol in his car. Let's be honest. Black guys with guns are pretty damn scary. They aren't exactly known for helping little old ladies cross the street. 

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Director James Comey Gives Hillary Clinton a Pass

(Director James Comey is just another criminal protecting his masters.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant. We ate a meal called Chim Dok. Translation? Spicy chicken served with rice, potatoes, and noodles. The food was pretty good. It burned going in, and it burned coming out. I washed the vittles down with a huge glass of genuine Coca-cola. A good time was had by all.

I watched the Samsung Lions. They defeated the LG Twins by several runs. Nevertheless, they remain mired in ninth place. That's not good. Korean baseball only has ten teams. The Lions aren't getting any production out of their foreign players. I expect them to miss the playoffs. They went from first to worse in a matter of a year. That's quite a feat.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, my sons aren't Harvard material. But they are reasonably bright, and their health is excellent. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Laos.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I was having coitus with a very attractive black woman. I nearly cried when the alarm went off.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Several Koreans were arrested for drag racing. These guys filmed their races and posted them on YouTube. They made huge money after getting tons of clicks. One guy pocketed more than $100,000. The fine for drag racing on the peninsula is only $5,000. That's a profit of $95,000. Not bad for a day's work.

I turned on CNN. James Comey is the director of the FBI. He said that Hillary Clinton was very careless when it came to putting classified emails on her server. Nevertheless, he gave her a pass. The former first-lady will not be charged for her reckless behavior. I'm not the least bit surprised. Donald Trump is right. The system's rigged. If you or I had handled classified material in such a haphazard manner, Comey would have buried us under the jail.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

The Angry Sinner T-Shirt

Donald Trump and the Star of David

(Donald Trump is not an anti-Semite.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared squid fried rice for dinner. The meal was absolutely disgusting. I thought I might actually toss my cookies. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my food like a good little retard. I'm wonderful that way. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite brand of Korean beer.

I watched television. A suicide bomb went off in Iraq killing over 200 people. Many of the victims were children. I really miss Saddam Hussein. Say what you want about the man, but he kept those violent peasants towing the line. Plus he provided a great buffer against Iran. In fact, Saddam killed more than a million Iranians. How did we ever manage to screw up that relationship?

(I miss Saddam. He kept the peasants in line.)

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, I've never gone to bed hungry. True. Some of the stuff I've eaten hasn't always agreed with me. But things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Uganda.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about making hash-browns in a Huddle House. I was the chef. They were delicious. The customers couldn't get enough.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A union leader was given a five year jail sentence for staging an illegal rally in Seoul. The demonstration turned into a riot and many policemen were injured. I'm not sure if South Korea is actually a democracy, so I do my best to avoid talking domestic politics with the locals. I don't want to piss off the powers-that-be.

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump's now being accused of anti-Semitism by the loony left. The notion is absolutely ludicrous. His own daughter is a Jew. This is nothing more than a smoke-screen contructed by the mainstream media. Their goal is to hide the fact that Hillary's being grilled by the FBI for her email scandal. Sadly, she'll get away with her crime. Trump's right. The system is rigged.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Monday, July 4, 2016

Explosion in Central Park Severs Man's Foot

(The work of militant Islam?)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared shrimp fajitas for dinner. The meal was excellent. My wife is the shrimp fajita queen. However, she does enjoy adding a lot of spice to her culinary creations. Some of her dishes could burn a whole right through your tongue. But I never complain. I'm wonderful that way. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Cass beer. A good time was had by all.

I watched the season finale of Fear the Walking Dead. The old angry Mexican starts seeing visions of his dead wife. He escapes from his captors and sets the whole compound on fire. This sends everybody scrambling for the boat. I like zombies. And Fear the Walking Dead is filled with marvelous zombie head-shots. Brains and blood are contantly flying everywhere.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, my television might be a generic piece of shit. But it works. In fact, it's 32 inches of fun. Plus it plays whatever's on my USB. There are lots of people in the world who are deprived of first-rate entertainment. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Iraq.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Koreans are worried about the end of globalization. They view the Brexit as an omen of things to come. The peninsula is heavily dependent on exports and foreign investment. Therefore, the citizens get a bit nonplussed when they see guys like Donald Trump espousing isolationism. But globalism has been doomed since 2008. The model just doesn't work for advanced economies.

I turned on CNN. An explosion in Central Park severed a man's foot. The poor victim is 20-years-old. He climbed off a rock and landed on a homemade explosive device. I'm not sure if the doctors can sew his appendage back on. This might be the new normal for America. Bombs here, bombs there, bombs everywhere. Militant Islam has got me all paranoid. Maybe I need medication to sooth my troubled soul.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Police arrest 22 men five years after alleged gang rape

(This is going to be a tight race.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a pizza restaurant. I don't eat cheese, so my pie came with only sauce and pepperoni. It tasted pretty damned good. It's always nice to eat out. The meal was thirty-five dollars. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of genuine Coca-cola. A good time was had by all.

I watched Game of Thrones. The season finale is wonderful. Half the characters get blown to smithereens by Cersei. The queen is dead; the queen's family is dead; and the religious fanatics are dead. To make matters worse, the king commits suicide by jumping out of a tower. Meanwhile, Walder Fray gets his throat cut by the young Stark girl. Game of Thrones is always good for a laugh. I simply can't get enough.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I asked The Savior to help my eldest son. The boy failed his most recent math exam. Up until now, he was doing pretty well academically. The kid hates to study. He's too busy playing games on his computer. Oh well. Things could always be worse. At least he's not addicted to crack cocaine.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. 22 men in their twenties were arrested for an alleged gang rape that happened five years ago. These naughty boys were in high school when they spotted the females. They coaxed the young victims to an isolated cabin, forced them to drink soju, and later had sex with them after the girls had passed out from the alcohol.

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are running neck and neck in many of the battleground states. The majority of Americans have more faith in Trump when it comes to the economy and terrorism. Furthermore, many Sanders supporters hate Hillary so much so that they've decided to back The Donald. Sadly, I still think Clinton will win. There just aren't enough angry white men left in America to vote for the belligerent billionaire.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.  

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Islam Strikes Again

(The religion of peace strikes again.)

Yesterday, I took my family to Burger King. I had a Whopper and a large order of fries. I also ordered some onion rings. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of geniune Coca-cola. The experience was marvelous. I'm a huge fan of junk food. All that sugar sends me straight to the moon.

I watched the latest episode of Hell On Wheels. It's currently my favorite show on television. Bohannon leaves his wife and child to go back to the railroad. He's an expert with explosives and uses nitro to blast through solid granite. But the stuff is highly unstable, so loads and loads of Chinese workers are constantly in harm's way. Two are actually blown to smithereens. Their limbs are reduced to a vapor of red mist. American television rocks.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. Lots of folk don't have the money to clog their arteries with junk food. Plus I also have access to hot running water. That's a big deal. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Somalia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Two Korean police officers are currently in a world of shit. They got caught having sex with underage high school girls. One of the victims even attempted suicide. The powers-that-be tried to cover up the crimes. But the two students took their story to the press. For some reason, lots of scumbags end up in law enforcement. It's a global problem.

I turned on CNN. Sadly, the ragheads are up to their old tricks. Thirty-six people were killed during a terror attack at the international airport in Istanbul. A single shooter unleashed all that carnage. He fired his bullets and blew himself up. Mark my words. Islam will prove the death of us all. Those people are crazy.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Monday, June 27, 2016

The Traditionalist Worker Party hates Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, Fags, and Muslims

(Matthew Heimbach is the leader of the TWP.)
 
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared beef and rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. However, in South Korea, you can't get away from the stuff. It's served with every meal. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my food like a well-behaved retard. I'm wonderful that way. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass beer. A good time was had by all.
 
I took my wife and youngest son to the movies. We watched The Conjuring 2. I nearly shit my pants with fear. Who knows? Maybe I'm half-a-fag, but I kept my eyes shut for minutes at a time. The most disturbing character is the transvestite nun. This demon absolutely tortures the poor family its haunting. It even tries to impale the youngest daughter on a jagged tree trunk.
 
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, I live in a shithole that is warm and dry. Plus I get to occasionally eat sushi and get drunk on beer. Lots of folks aren't as lucky as me. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Uganda.
 
(This transvestite nun is pure evil.)
 
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I bought a bucketful of poisonous fish. These little critters had a deadly sting. My family insulted me when I brought the bucket into the house.
 
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A famous actor from Seoul hanged himself in his apartment. He had been suffering from meth addiction for many years. His habit had cost him his family and career. I stay away from narcotics. Alcohol seems to do the job for me. This lost soul donated his organs to medicine. Let's hope that he doesn't meet the transvestite nun in the afterlife. The poor son-of-a-bitch has suffered enough.
 
I turned on CNN. A white supremacist group called the Traditionalist Worker Party tried to hold a rally in Sacramento, California. They were attacked by a communist group called By Any Means Necessary. Ten people were taken to the hospital after being stabbed with knives. The Traditionalist Worker Party had a permit to assemble. You don't get to assault people just because you disagree with them. American Nazis have rights, too.
 
Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.  

Friday, June 24, 2016

Capitalism in North Korea

(A female loan-shark was recently killed in North Korea.)

Yesterday, I took my family to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. I washed the vittles down with a glass of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

We returned to our concrete Soviet-style tenement. I watched an episode of Hell On Wheels. It's one of my favorite programs. Gunderson kills Bohannon's in-laws with an axe. However, the crazed Finn is eventually brought to justice. He's hanged by the United States Army. Gunderson's neck doesn't snap. He basically chokes to death slowly. The whole process is very disturbing to watch.


I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. First, I'm very happy that my sons aren't homosexuals. No kidding. I'm not sure if I could handle that curse. Second, it's great to be able to eat meat every once in a while. Lots of people are vegetarians for financial reasons. Things could always be worse. I'm just happy that I wasn't born in Greenland.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that my wife bought a new apartment. However, the management told us that we weren't allowed to bring our children.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A debtor in North Korea killed a female loan-shark with a knife. The suspect is a retailer who got behind on her payments. Some are speculating that the isolated dictatorship is warming up to the notion of capitalism. I'm not so sure. I don't expect reunification in the near future. But stranger things have happened.

I turned on CNN. Officer Caesar Goodson was aquitted of all charges in the Freddie Gray case. There's a good chance that none of the police officers will face jail time for Gray's death. And I couldn't be happier. Freddie was a drug dealer with a rap sheet a mile long. More importantly, he wasn't a victim of homicide. He met his demise when he foolishly decided to run from the cops. If I were king of the world, I'd legalize all narcotics. Who needs the headache?

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Donald Trump: Hillary Clinton is a pathological liar.

(Hillary Clinton is wrong for America.)
 
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made chicken fried rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. In South Korea, you can't get away from the stuff. To make matters worse, the meal was so spicy that it burned a hole right through my tongue. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like the village idiot. I'm wonderful that way.
 
I watched Game of Thrones. The latest episode is very impressive. Jon Snow destroys Ramsay Bolton's army with the help of an unexpected ally. The battle scenes are filled with blood and gore. Heads go flying left and right. Bolton is eventually captured and tied to a chair. Then he is eaten alive by his own hounds. Game of Thrones is always good for a laugh. What's not to love?
 
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. For instance, I live in a country where it's legal to drink beer. Not everybody can say that. Plus nobody's getting shot, crucified, or drowned in metal cages. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Libya.
 
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a terrifying dream. I turned into a wolf and killed my mother. My demons have demons.
 
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The North Koreans fired more rockets into the sea. The entire peninsula's on alert. But I don't fear my surly neighbors. I'm more worried about ISIS and Islam. Mark my words. The rag-heads will prove the death of us all.
 
I turned on CNN. Donald Trump delivered a scathing speech about Hillary Clinton. Everything he said was right. She's pure evil. Hillary's a self-serving greedy liar. She's also the property of Goldman-Sachs. A vote for Clinton is a vote for more Wall Streedt fraud. Nevertheless, I think she'll win the White House. Peasants love to get pissed on.
 
Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Pastor Donnie Romero really hates fags!

(Donnie Romero might be hateful shithead, but he's not a killer.)
 
Yesterday, I took my family to a couple of restaurants. First, we went for sushi at a new establishment near our apartment. I loved the meal. I also ate raw octopus. But the Children of the Rice weren't satisfied. They wanted more food. So we walked to a chicken-house. I washed the vittles down with lots of Cass beer. Cass is both smooth and delicious.
 
I watched the season finale of Bates Motel. Norman finally kills his mother. He does the deed by using carbon-monoxide in a botched murder-suicide plot. Sheriff Romero arrives too late to save his wife. But he does manage to bring Norman back to life. The young man digs up Norma's freshly buried corpse. She's now lying on the sofa in the living room. I can't wait till the next season. American television rocks.
 
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, I really enjoy living in South Korea. I have no fear of crime. Plus my kids get to go to safe schools. I never worry about drugs or violence. On top of that, I can occasionally afford to eat meat. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Pakistan.
 
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I was in a bar drinking with college students. Five young men threatened to beat me to a pulp. I told them that I was going to call the police. They ran away.
 
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. There was an editorial about President Park. The writer believes she is taking the country in a backward direction. Park's father was a very popular military dictator back in the day. He was eventually assassinated with a pistol shot to the head. However, he's still credited with Korea's economic miracle. His daughter is controversial just like her daddy.
 
I turned on CNN. The Orlando shooting remains a hot topic in the news. The press is linking the massacre to gun control and conservative Christianity. But it's important to remember exactly who the shooter was. First, Omar loved Islam. Secondly, he practiced homosexuality on a regular basis. In fact, his former boy-toy claims that Omar was angry after recently being exposed to HIV. So let's get one thing straight. The murderer was an Islamic sodomite. Period. Paragraph.
 
Anyway, I've shot my load. I'll talk to you later, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Donald Trump fires Corey Lewandowski

(Trump fires Corey Lewandowski.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared ham and rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. But in South Korea, you can't get away from the stuff. It's served with every meal. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite Korean beer. It's nice and smooth.

I watched the UFC. The main bout featured a contest between Rory MacDonald and Stephen Wonderboy Thompson. The fight was a real chess match. Both men gave each other a lot of respect. Nevertheless, Thompson won easily. Rory just didn't possess the speed to catch him with any significant shots. To make matters worse, Stephen shattered MacDonald's nose in the fifth round. Blood went everywhere. I love the UFC. The violence is incredible.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. My crazy wife is still on her medicine, and my children haven't been kicked out of school. Plus I can occasionally afford to eat beef. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Ozarks. Talk about a shithole.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I was back in university. I was thrown out of the school library by an angry security guard. I thought he might kill me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Two Vietnamese fisherman killed their Korean captain with a knife. They also murdered the ship's first-engineer. According to the crew, the two men are usually nice. However, they went off the reservation after drinking too much hard alcohol. I avoid whiskey like the plague. It's best to stick to beer.

I turned on CNN. I was disappointed to learn that Donald Trump fired Corey Lewandowski at the behest of his son-in-law. I really liked Corey. He took a campaign that was going nowhere and turned it into a winner. In fact, Lewandowski was the brains behind the Trump miracle. Day by day, The Donald keeps losing his luster. Nevertheless, I like him a hell of a lot more than Hillary.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Friday, June 17, 2016

More than four out of 10 Korean workers with children regard themselves as "edupoor"

(I'm a broke dead dick.)
 
 
Yesterday, I took the Dragon Lady to my favorite restaurant. We ordered fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken. The bird tasted wonderful. I ate every last morsel on my plate. We washed the vittles down with a pitcher of Hite beer. My wife is now medicated, so she's becoming quite the drunkard. Good for her.

We got back home at 9 p.m. I watched television. The Samsung Lions lost again. They are on their way to becoming the worst team in all of Korean baseball. If they lose three more games, there's a chance that they'll end up in the cellar. Nevertheless, I'm travelling to Daegu this weekend to watch the squad take on the first place Doosan Bears.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. For instance, I'm not some dirty sodomite relieving myself in the women's bathroom. Plus I can occasionally afford beef. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another dream about smoking at the train station. I haven't had a cigarette in years. But I do miss them from time to time.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Many families in Korea consider themselves edupoor. They spend tons of money so that their children can excell in English, math, and science. I feel their pain. I also spend a ton on after-school academies. My little boy is currently taking math, Chinese, and piano. The monthly bill's a killer.

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump continues to get thrown under the bus by the mainstream Republican leaders. The Donald's asking the powers-that-be to keep their mouths shut so that he'll have a chance in November. But that's not going to happen. Men like Mitt Romney and John Kasich don't want change. And why would they? They've made fortunes following the same old routine.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Pam Bondi: She's not a terrorist. She's just against gay marriage.

(Pam Bondi didn't kill anybody.)

Yesterday, I took my family to dinner at a restaurant called Ashley's. The eatery is an American-style buffet decorated in Gone With the Wind movie posters. I ate ribs, shrimp, and crab-fried rice. The food was expensive but delicious. I washed the vittles down with five large glasses of red wine. I was quite shit-faced. I'm not used to vino.

We returned to our Soviet-style concrete apartment. I drank beer and watched television. Anderson Cooper ripped Pam Bondi a new asshole. His tone was very snarky. He seemed to blame Pam for the death of the homosexuals in Orlando because of her stand on gay marriage. I became outraged. The liberals are now pointing their greasy little fingers at good God-fearing Americans. How dare they? And Anderson is talking out of his asshole. It turns out that the murderer was a self-hating Islamic fag. Go figure.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for my many blessings. I have great kids; I'm well-fed; and I have 24-hour access to large amounts of alcoholic beverages. Plus I can occasionally afford beef and sushi. Things could be a lot worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Liberia. I'd never survive.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a dream concerning school. I was worried about failing algebra. Yet I managed to get a B. After that, I celebrated by taking a shit in the corridor as my suprised classmates looked on in horror.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean teenager was arrested for hacking over three thousand websites. I worry about my eldest son. He loves computers almost as much as he loves Anonymous. I hope he's not up to any internet foolishness. Kids don't realize how seriously cyber-crime is taken.

I turned on CNN. Obama yelled at Donald Trump. He doesn't like Donald's stance on Muslim immigration. He also hates being criticized about his foreign policy. The president actually believes that he's doing a good job. He insists that ISIL's on the run and that he doesn't have to use the words Islamic extremism because Muslims are good people. Obama might be the worst president in our nation's history. But it doesn't matter. America's going off a cliff.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Tuesday

(The Bates Motel keeps me entertained.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made ribs for dinner. They were smothered in tangy barbecue sauce. The meal was very good. However, no side dishes were prepared. I'm afraid to criticize my wife, so I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of beer. A good time was had by all.

I watched several episodes of The Bates Motel. I'm a huge fan. Norman's gone over the deep end. He enjoys dressing in his mother's clothing while murdering innocent women. However, he believes that his mom is actually the killer. He repeatedly asks his psychiatrist to keep an eye on the wretched woman. Meanwhile, Norma marries Sheriff Romero. The sheriff is up to his eyeballs in murder and money-laundering. All the characters in The Bates Motel are dirt bags. Television keeps me so entertained that I rarely read books these days. Oh well. What's a boy to do?

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy misanthrope. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. For instance, I wasn't born a dirty Muslim waving a machine gun at the infadels. Plus my kids seem reasonably healthy and happy. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I don't live in Yeman. Talk about a shithole.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a dream concerning my mother. Her rent was $3,500 a month, and she didn't have the scratch to pay. Nevertheless, she kept telling me that everything was going to be OK.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Porno is against the law in South Korea. In my opinion, the peninsula really isn't a democracy. Anyway, the police are now searching for four Koreans who ran a porn site called Soranet. They did this while they were overseas. But that doesn't matter. The government wants vengeance. It's strange. Even though pornography is outlawed in this nation, there's a whorehouse on every street corner. Go figure.

I turned on CNN. The shooter in the Orlando night club was no stranger to the FBI. In fact, he had been interviewed by the best and brightest on two seperate occasions. Consequently, the powers-that-be decided that he was an upstanding citizen. Accidents like this happen all the time. I put the blame on political correctness. The whole world is terrified of offending Islam. Soon, we'll all be their slaves. Mark my words.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Monday

(The religion of peace strikes again.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made pork for dinner. She grilled the meat in our magnificent Phillips air-fryer. The meal was wonderful. I'm a huge fan of pig. It's both tasty and cheap. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of beer. The experience was marvelous.

I watched a Netflix original series called Narcos. The story is about Pablo Escobar's reign of terror in Columbia. I sat transfixed for ten straight hours. Narcos is so interesting that I couldn't get off the sofa. And here's the kicker. Seventy-five percent of the program is subtitled. The main language used is Spanish. I'm usually far too stupid to sit through anything that I have to read. So this is some type of a milestone for me. I give Narcos my highest recommendation. Netflix has created an impressive work of art.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked the Christ God for his many blessings. On Saturday night, I went out drinking with the Dragon Lady. I had several shots of Absolut vodka and vomited on the street. There are lots of people in this fallen world who can't afford to drink vodka and make public spectacles of themselves. I'm one lucky son-of-a-bitch. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in New London, Connecticut. What a shithole.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I had a dream about my dead father. We almost got into a fist-fight. I was so angry that I moved in with my mother and her dog, Barney. Barney's been dead for over twenty years. He was a great companion. Time flies.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The ACT exam was canceled in both South Korea and Hong Kong. The test had been compromised by cheaters. Asians take education very seriously. Sometimes, they go a little to far in order to make it into the best universities.

I turned on CNN. A crazy rag-head committed an act of terrorism in Orlando, Florida. The man in question attacked a gay bar with an assualt rifle and a pistol. He managed to murder fifty people before being shot by the police.

Both Hillary and Bernie are blaming the incident on the 2nd ammendment. What a joke. They dishonor the dead. The fags have the right to shake their asses on a Saturday night without being targeted by fanatics. Unfortunately, Muslims aren't as tolerant as poor old Smith. I have no love for Islam. Mark my words. These wacky bastards will end up killing us all.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Thursday

(Hillary's an evil bitch.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to Emart. She brought home fried chicken for dinner. It came in a large cardboard container. I ate the meal with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I'm a huge fan of poultry. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Cass beer. A good time was had by all.

I watched the Samsung Lions. They got their asses kicked by the LG Twins. The final score was 12 to 6. Samsung isn't getting much production from their foreign players. One pitcher got sent home for losing too many games. And a black third baseman gets no playing time because he's currently hitting below .250. However, the squad still has a chance of making the playoffs. Thankfully, the other teams suck, too.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. Both my children are a couple of dullards. But they aren't completely retarded. So that's definitely good news. Plus I make enough money to afford heat during the winter months. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in East Saint Louis. Talk about a shithole.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a strange dream. I was eating French fries in Burger King, and the girl behind the counter yelled at me for spilling ketchup. After that, she attacked me with a knife. 

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Nearly fifty percent of all American women are classified as obese. The United States is drowing in fat. But I'm not pointing my chubby finger at anybody. I'm not in shape, either. In fact, I have man-tits which jiggle when I dance. Oh well. What's a boy to do? 

I turned on CNN. Hillary Clinton's now the nominee for the Democratic Party. However, many Sanders' supporters hate the former first-lady with a passion. For example, twenty-five percent said that they'd rather die than vote for her. I smell trouble coming to Philadelphia. That convention is going to be a mad house. Mark my words.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Wednesday

(Judge Gonzalo Curiel is another left-wing activist.)

Yesterday, I took my family to Burger King. I had a Whopper and a large order of French fries. Meanwhile, the Dragon Lady opted for a burger with shrimp. I washed the vittles down with a large glass of genuine Coca-cola. The experience was marvelous. I'm a huge fan of junk food. I currently weigh 235 pounds.

We drove back to our Soviet-style concrete tenement. I drank lots Cass beer as I watched the Samsung Lions on the tube. Samsung defeated LG by the score of 8 to 5. Even though they are currently three games below .500, they remain in playoff contention. The majority of the other teams suck ass, too. Doosan and NC are the only two decent squads in the league.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, my sons aren't homosexuals. Plus I have enough money to occasionally feed them meat. Things could be a whole lot worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Flint, Michigan. Talk about a shithole. You can't even drink the water in that sorry town.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another strange dream about defecating in the middle of a restaurant. This time I released my bowels in a Sizzler. I haven't been to a Sizzler in years.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A young female teacher on a remote Korean island was gang raped by three men. The incident happened after she passed out from drinking too much soju. She knew all the perverts who assaulted her. They were the fathers of her students.

I turned on CNN. I recently blamed The Donald for calling out the Hispanic judge overseeing the Trump University case. Well, I was wrong. It turns out that Judge Gonzalo Curiel is a member of La Raza. He's another liberal judicial activist. So how's Big Don going to get a fair trial from this joker? He's not. Curiel should recuse himself immediately.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.  

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Tuesday

(Is The Donald imploding?)

Yesterday, I took the Dragon Lady to my favorite restaurant. We ate fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken. The poultry tasted magnificent. Unfortunately, this particular eatery no longer serves Cass. So I washed the vittles down with a pitcher of Hite. Most foreigners hate Korean beer, but I love the stuff. I find it delicious and smooth.

I watched the UFC. The main fight of the evening featured a battle between Luke Rockhold and Michael Bisping. Luke dominated the early part of the first round. However, Michael caught him with two sneaky left hooks. After that, Bisping climbed on top of Rockhold and knocked him unconscious with several hard shots to the face. Luke did not lose graciously. He called Bisping a dick at the post-fight press conference and threatened to kill him during their next match. I love the UFC. It's a guilty pleasure.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. For instance, I went away this weekend on a mini-vacation. I took the Dragon Lady to an island, and we ate lots of sushi and crab. A good time was had by all. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Little Rock, Arkansas. Have you seen that shithole?

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. White people's life expectancies are dropping like stones from the sky. The members of my race are succumbing to alcoholism, drug addiction, and suicide. I can only speak to my own experience. I'm not standing on a window ledge waiting to jump. But I'm not dancing for joy, either. I find that beer helps with life's roadblocks.

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump is once again being accused of racism. The Donald believes that Mexican and Muslim judges aren't qualified to hear the fraud case involving Trump University because of their race and religion. Why would he say that publicly--even if he believes it to be true? It makes no sense. Perhaps he's on the verge of imploding. The thought of another President Clinton sends chills down my spine. I hope Donald gets his shit together before it's too late. 

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.