Thursday, July 30, 2015

Thursday

(Cecil the lion is dead.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady took me to a restaurant.  I consumed fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken and a pitcher of draft beer.  The children complained.  They're getting tired of feasting on poultry day after day.  But they should thank their lucky stars. At least they weren't born in Chad.

I watched Alone.  Only four men are left.  One of the contestants is sailing around the ocean in a canoe.  He uses the boat to collect shellfish.  Sadly, he's suffering from the squirts.  He'll have to drop out pretty soon.  The runs lead can lead to severe dehydration.  And he has no access to medicine.  Diarrhea sucks.  It's actually quite serious.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I thanked Jesus for my wonderful life.  I have two healthy children and access to delicious food.  Plus my humble abode is usually warm and dry.  Everything else is gravy.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m. and watched Fox News.  Sarah Palin says that Planned Parenthood kills far more black babies than the Confederate flag.  And she's absolutely right.  Watching doctors haggle over the price of dead baby-parts makes me feel physically ill. But I'm not shocked.  These folks are atheists who have no love in their hearts for humanity. Murdered children are just mere tissue in their eyes.

I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  An American dentist traveled to Zimbabwe for a hunting trip.  He killed a beloved lion named Cecil with his bow and arrow.  He then beheaded the poor beast.  People are angry.  They believe the dentist is a criminal who deserves death.  They forget that God gave humanity dominion over the animals.  Plus no laws were broken.  Final analysis?  Get over it.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Life Sucks by The Fools.  God bless.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Tuesday

(I'm going to miss Hannibal.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady took me to a restaurant.  She bought me fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken.  The meal was delicious.  I washed the vittles down with a pitcher of draft beer.  Poultry and suds go together like ketchup and French fries.  The experience was divine.

My eldest son James-uh tried to strong-arm his poor old father.  He demanded that I give him two hours of free-time daily to play his computer games.  I promptly refused.  He then promised to fail all of his classes on purpose to get his revenge.  I hit him several times on the ass with a medium-sized wooden spoon.  Is that child abuse? I have no idea.

I watched the latest episode of Hannibal.  The famous doctor is now languishing in a mental institution.  Meanwhile, Jack wants Will to investigate the serial killer known as The Tooth Fairy.  This sick individual is slaughtering entire families and placing shards of broken glass on his victim's lifeless eyes.  I'm going to miss Hannibal.  It's one of the most disturbing shows on television.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I thanked Jesus for his recent miracle.  Only The Savior has the power to alter my wife's feverish brain.  It's truly a great achievement.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m. and turned on Fox News.  Mike Huckabee is in a little bit of hot water.  He implied that Obama's a Nazi for brokering a deal with Iran.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The president had no choice.  The rest of the globe is giving up on sanctions.  This bargain is the only way to prevent the Muslim loons from acquiring a nuclear weapon.

I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A woman in Seoul was arrested for strangling her six-year-old son.  The police claim that she's been battling depression for years and was even taking medicine to combat her personal demons.  I guess she just snapped.  Mothers kill their babies all the time.  This world is corrupted to the core by sin.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's In the Court of the Crimson King by King Crimson.  God bless. 

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Sunday

(Greg Gutfeld just isn't funny.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady was actually nice to me.  I was so shocked that I nearly shit right in my hat.  She took me to a local chicken restaurant while the Children of the Rice remained at our humble abode.  My wife called the experience date night.  I drank a pitcher of beer.  Then we went to a couple of bars and had more suds.  We didn't get home until 11 p.m.  I had a great time.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty heathen.  I thanked Jesus for his kindness.  Is it possible that The Savior cured my wife from her myriad of psychic maladies?  Well, I have oodles and oodles of faith in his ability. After all, he did drive seven demons from Mary Magdalene.  So he's certainly up to the task. With God, anything is possible.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 9 a.m. and turned on Fox News.  Greg Gutfeld criticized Donald Trump for making light of John McCain's service.  Greg and his lame-brained panel asserted that Trump has no respect for American soldiers. 

Let's be honest.  Trump only cares about Trump.  But McCain's no better.  Under the current political leadership, veterans are dying off like flies.  The afflicted can't even make an appointment at their own damn hospitals.  So how could The Donald's performance be any worse?  It couldn't.  I'm tired of the status quo. It's time for a change.

I read the paper.  There was a very disturbing story regarding vigilante justice in Bangladesh.  A thirteen-year-old boy was accused of burglary.  A group of grown men tied him to a tree.  Then they beat him to death with their fists. The whole gruesome act was caught on camera.  The poor kid was tortured for thirty minutes before succumbing to his injuries.  These murderers should be thrown off the nearest cliff.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Garden Party by Ricky Nelson.  God bless.     

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Thursday

(Tut is intriguing.)

Yesterday, I made bacon and eggs for dinner.  The meal was delicious.  I purchased the bacon at Emart.  It fried up all thick and crispy.  My eldest son ate every last morsel.  He was starving.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola.  I'm off the beer.  It's time to climb back on the wagon.

I watched Tut.  The action scenes are cheesy and low-rent.  But the dialogue and politics are quite intriguing.  Every character acts according to his or her own self-interest.  There's literally no one who evokes any type of sympathy.  A plague passes through the city. Tut's response?  Burn the victims alive in order to halt the disease. And he's the protagonist!  There's a hard-edge to the show which I very much enjoy.  I'm just glad that I wasn't born in ancient Egypt.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus for the gift of patience.  I'm going shopping with the Dragon Lady tomorrow in an attempt to rekindle our relationship.  Maybe things can get back to normal.  But I doubt it.  That woman drives me completely insane.  Our marriage will be the death of me. Let's hope I pass quickly.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m and turned on my laptop.  Twenty-nine people in Nigeria we murdered by Muslim nut-jobs.  They were blown to bits after several bombs went off in the city of Gombe.  Islam is an absolute plague upon mankind.  The rag-heads won't be happy until they destroy the human race.

I read the paper later in the day.  A serial-killer in India was recently captured.  He's accused of raping and butchering sixteen children.  I used to be against the death penalty.  But now I'm not so sure.  What else can you do with the criminally demented?  It's a tough issue with no easy answers.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Civil War by Guns N' Roses.  God bless.        

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Tuesday

(Albinos are being slaughtered in Tanzania.)

Yesterday, I cooked pork and eggs for dinner.  The meal was delicious.  I'm turning into quite an excellent chef.  The meat came from Jeju Island.  Pigs from Jeju actually eat human shit.  No kidding.  But I couldn't tell from the flavor.  I washed the vittles down with a large bottle of plastic beer.  Now that's living.

I watched the latest episode of True Detective.  Colin Farrel beats a psychiatrist half to death with a truncheon.  The doctor finally spills much needed information.  It turns out that he's also a plastic surgeon. He's been giving hookers boob jobs so they can work at high-priced sex parties.  Only special bigwigs get to attend these festivals.  I've never been invited to an orgy.  Not that I would attend.  I look much better with my clothes on.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty heathen.  I asked Jesus for the gift of patience.  The Dragon Lady's getting back today.  And she's often a screaming demon.  I just hope I can take her abuse with grace and a little bit of good humor.  Down deep, she means well.  Besides, I'm too lazy to clean the house myself, and I don't have the money to hire a maid.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  There's a popular website called Ashley Madison which is designed for adulterers.  Unfaithful spouses sign up to get matched with other cheaters.  The whole concept is quite disgusting.  The site got hacked.  Now the names of 39 million sinners are out there floating in cyberspace.

I read the paper later in the day.  There was a disturbing story about the African nation of Tanzania.  The witch-doctors are hiring hunters to harvest the organs of albinos.  These satanists believe that light skin contains huge amounts of beneficial magic.  Most of the victims are children and young teenagers.  They're easier targets than full-grown adults. These sorcerers should be burned at the stake without mercy.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Who Are You by The Who.  God bless.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Monday

(Michael Bisping earns a split decision in Glasgow.)

Yesterday, I prepared beef fried rice for dinner.  The meal was quite good.  I went heavy with the grease and salt.  My eldest son James-uh ate every last morsel. He called me a great cook.  I washed the vittles down with some soju and a plastic bottle of Hite. A good time was had by all.

I watched the UFC.  Michael Bisping fought Thales Leites in Glasgow, Scotland.  My poor old mother's from Glasgow.  No kidding.  The fight was very evenly matched.  Bisping hit the Brazilian several times with heavy right hands.  

Meanwhile, Leites countered by savagely kicking his opponent on his lead leg throughout the match--sapping the Englishman's strength.  By the fifth round, Bisping was exhausted.  Yet the judges awarded Michael the split decision. I thought Leites won. But who died and made me boss?

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I thanked Jesus for the past two weeks of peace and beer.  It's wonderful to have a break from that wicked witch I call a wife.  All glory goes to The Savior.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Donald Trump is sticking to his guns.  He will not apologize for his insensitive comments toward John McCain. In fact, he insulted the Arizona senator one more time by calling him a failed politician.  The Lord definitely broke the mold when he created Donald.  And I'd be offended by his bad behavior if McCain wasn't such a Wall Street ass-licker.  Final analysis?  Screw John and the horse he rode in on.

I read the paper later in the day.  Obama recently praised the South Korean educational system.  He said that Korean teachers make more than doctors.  This is completely untrue.  Furthermore, most students on the peninsula use school as a place to sleep.  They get their real education privately at academies.  And their parents pay a fortune.  The president is grossly misinformed.  Run from the Asian model of learning as fast as you can.  

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Welcome to the Machine by Pink Floyd.  God bless. 

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Sunday

(Hannibal gets canceled by NBC.)

Yesterday, I prepared beef for dinner.  There were no side dishes. Just meat.  But my eldest son didn't complain.  He cleaned his plate with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.  He's a chip off the old block.  I washed the vittles down with some soju and a plastic bottle of Hite.  I'm a lucky man.  Things could be much worse.  At least I wasn't born in Chad.

I watched Hannibal.  Margo kills Mason by sticking an eel down his throat.  Dr. Bloom's now officially a lesbo.  And, for the coup de gras, Hannibal surrenders to Jack Crawford after saving Will Graham's life.  I was disappointed in NBC's cancellation of the series.  However, now I understand the network's motivation.  The protagonist's in a prison cell.  Where can the show go from here?

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty misanthrope.  I thanked Jesus for giving James-uh a strong mind.  Don't get me wrong.  He's definitely not Harvard material.  

Nevertheless, the boy's a lot smarter than his old man.  The kid aced his Algebra final, and he's only in the 8th grade. He has a bright future. I'd like to see him become a evangelical pastor. Then he could declare the damnation of all pagans and homosexuals during his future fiery sermons. But the choice is his. And I'm not about to twist the his arm.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I was at an Italian restaurant with three complete strangers.  Yet I couldn't eat anything on the menu.  Every dish was made with cheese.  And I detest most dairy products.  I felt deeply ashamed of myself.  I ordered pizza with sauce.  All the patrons stared at me.

I woke up at 9 a.m.  I turned on my laptop.  Donald Trump declared that John McCain isn't a war hero.  Trump really has to watch his rhetoric if he wants to be taken seriously.  It was a dumb comment. McCain spent five years being tortured in a Vietnamese prison while The Donald was excused from duty on a medical deferment. Nonetheless, I'm no fan of the Arizona senator.  He just another Wall Street kiss-ass.  

I read the paper later in the day.  A man was convicted of sexually assaulting his sister-in-law.  He claimed that he was so drunk that he thought she was his wife.  The jury didn't buy his excuse.  He was sentenced to three years in prison.  But the punishment will be suspended for five years if he behaves himself.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Point of No Return by Kansas.  God bless.     

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Saturday

(Militant Islam will be the death of us all.)

Yesterday, I took my eldest son to a restaurant.  We ate fifteen dollars worth of friend chicken.  I washed the poultry down with a pitcher of beer.  My boy hates to go.  He'd rather spend the two hours playing Starcraft.  But family time's important.  So I often force him to come against his will.

I watched Banshee.  The Redbones attack the police station with a fifty-caliber machine gun.  Lots of people are shot in the head. Blood flies everywhere.  Sheriff Hood releases Kai Proctor from his jail cell. They defeat the tribal terrorists with just a couple of pistols. Indians are terrible marksman.  It's tough to shoot when you're dead drunk. We took their land.  But at least the government gave them casinos.  That's more than I ever got.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty atheist.  I thanked Jesus for the gift of patience and the ability to endure.  I also thanked him for giving me a couple of weeks away from the Dragon Lady.  I really needed the break.  The peace has been wonderful, and the beer's been delicious.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  ISIS set off a bomb in Iraq which killed over a hundred people.  I'm not surprised.  Those crazy Muslims will eventually destroy the world.  The only solution is to exterminate the Islamic State without remorse or pity.  Then we should install a ruthless puppet government to keep the savages in line.  Just my two cents.

I read the paper later in the day.  Many elderly women near Seoul were given soda-pop laced with insecticide.  Several are dead, and many more are currently hospitalized.  The prime suspect says that he's innocent.  He claims that the whole ordeal was just an honest mistake.  I'm inclined to believe him.  Why would he want to kill a bunch of oldsters?

Anyway, it's time for the song of the day.  Here's Helena by My Chemical Romance.  God bless.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Friday


 (I buy my bacon at Emart.)

Yesterday, the pastor came to my humble abode at 9 a.m.  He seemed like a really nice guy.  He told the Dragon Lady that divorce isn't the solution to our problems.  She agreed with him. So now it looks as if we're getting back together.  

My wife's currently out of town till Tuesday.  She took Bluce with her.  We'll see how everything works out. But I'll tell you people one thing.  I'm certainly going to miss the peace and quiet.  I'm also going to miss the beer. I'd better drink up while I still have the chance.

I cooked dinner for me and my eldest son.  I bought this off-brand bacon at Emart.  The stuff was great.  It fried up all thick and crispy. I served the meat with eggs and fajita bread.  I'm becoming a real Betty Crocker.  I washed the vittles down with a large plastic bottle of Hite beer.  A good time was had by all.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty nihilist.  I thanked Jesus for preserving my twisted marriage.  But I'm not the least bit surprised.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  Anyone who bets against The Savior needs to get his head examined.  He's a miracle man.

I went to bed at 11:00 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  A black woman in Texas named Sandra Bland got stopped by the cops for a traffic violation.  She kicked the police officer in the chest.  Sandra was later found hanging from her jail cell.  The FBI and the Texas Rangers are now investigating her death.  Why do African Americans love to resist the law?  I just don't get it.

I read the newspaper later in the day.  A nineteen-year-old boy in Seoul found his father trying to commit suicide.  He became enraged and started beating his dad with his fists and his feet.  The young man hit him so hard that the old bastard died.  Talk about a weird case.  The court had mercy.  The kid was given an eight month jail sentence.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Bring Your Daughter To the Slaughter by Iron Maiden.  God bless.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Thursday

(Alone is a first-rate survival show.)

Yesterday, I made pork for dinner.  My eldest son didn't partake. He ate squid with the Dragon Lady at a local restaurant.  My meal tasted fantastic.  I cooked the meat using liberal amounts of grease and salt. Then I drank a large plastic bottle of beer to wash the vittles down.  My favorite Korean beer is Hite.  It tastes like a mixture of vinegar and cat piss.  But why complain?  Life's good. At least I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I watched the latest episode of Alone.  I'm a huge fan of survival shows.  One of the contestants drinks brackish water.  He gets sick and begins to go insane.  He claims to see colored lights and symbols as he looks at the roof of his tent.  The poor guy calls for the rescue team.  They evacuate him immediately for medical treatment.  Vancouver Island looks rough.  The place is awash with bears, cougars, and wolves.  I wouldn't spend a single night in that hell-hole.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I asked Jesus to preserve my crazy marriage.  I don't believe in divorce.  It's against my religion.  Besides, I want to spend the rest of my life torturing my poor bride for her many sins against me.  Divorce would only let her off the hook.  And I need my pound of flesh.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Obama made a pointed comment about Bill Cosby's legal troubles.  The president believes that it's morally wrong to drug and have sex with women.  He says that it's tantamount to rape. Wow.  He's really going out on a limb with that statement.  In all seriousness, I would never have pegged Cosby as a criminal pervert.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.

I read the newspaper later in the day.  Marriage in Korea is completely falling apart.  More than fifty percent end in divorce. The average time that a couple stays together is fourteen years.  I'm currently on my sixteenth year of matrimonial hell.  I probably deserve some type of prize.  Where is my Booby Award?

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Rusty Cage by Johnny Cash.  God bless.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Wednesday

(Robbie Lawler vs. Rory MacDonald was the best fight I've ever seen.)

Yesterday, I made fried shrimp for dinner.  The meal was wonderful.  I cooked the crustaceans in heavy grease and salt. Now that's eating.  My eldest son James-uh enjoyed the meal, too. I washed the vittles down with two large bottles of rice wine.  The experience was heavenly.

I watched UFC 189.  It might have been the strongest card in the organization's history.  The bout of the night featured Robbie Lawler defending his title against Rory MacDonald.  Those two men beat the living shit out of each for nearly twenty minutes. Their bodies were slick from head to toe with blood.  Finally, Rory slumped to the canvas, his face a mask of pain and frustration. Both his nose and foot were broken.  The UFC rocks.  I just can't get enough.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to save me from the Dragon Lady's intense rage and malice.  Tomorrow, a pastor is coming to our humble abode to counsel us.  Sadly, my wife's a pagan.  But I have oodles and oodles of faith.  Only a complete idiot would place a bet against The Savior.  

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  A coach for the Buffalo Bills named Aaron Kromer was arrested in Florida for beating up a minor.  He allegedly punched the boy in the face over a beach chair.  Then Mr. Kromer told him not to call the police or he would kill his parents. I love football.  But the sport does produce a lot of screwed up bullies.  

I read the paper later in the day.  A Korean college professor was arrested for abusing one of his assistants.  The victim was beaten on several occasions with a baseball bat.  He was also forced to eat human fecal matter.  Talk about strict.  My teachers only made me stay in for recess.  It's a hard hard world.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Look At Little Sister by Stevie Ray Vaughn.  God bless.  

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Sunday

(What kind of a sucker would vote for Hillary?  Haven't we suffered enough?)

Yesterday, I made beef for dinner.  I also fried some rice and eggs. It tasted damn good.  My eldest son James-uh ate every last morsel. So did I.  We both cleaned our plates using our tongues. We do that sometimes just for shits and giggles.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  A good time was had by all.

I watched the latest episode of Zoo.  It's the dumbest show on television.  The animals start a war against their evil human overlords.  Even the dogs are getting in on  the action.  They kill an unsuspecting Brit who's visiting Slovakia to adopt a child.  He's torn to bits by a gaggle of naughty little house hounds.  The series has progressive liberal written all over it.  Man was granted dominion over the animals by our creator.  Get used to it.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to grant me serenity.  The Dragon Lady's bullshit has me in knots.  If I were single, I would leave with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Sadly, things get complicated when children are involved.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Hillary Clinton garnered the endorsement of a very large teacher's union.  She's in a real dogfight with Bernie Sanders. If we elect another Bush or Clinton, then we really deserve our collective ass rape.  Have Americans learned nothing over the past 28 years?  What a choice.  Yuck.

I read the paper later in the day.  A man in Pusan was caught stealing $500 dollars worth of pork.  He'd been starving for the last four days.  He was intoxicated when the police apprehended him. The suspect can afford booze, but food's just a little out of his price range.  I'm not judging.  One day, that broken man in custody could be me.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Love On the Rocks by Neil Diamond.  God bless.    

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Saturday

(Dylann Roof wasn't eligible to own a gun.)

Yesterday, I went to a restaurant with my eldest son.  We ordered fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken.  The meal was delicious.  I washed the vittles down with a pitcher of beer.  Drinking suds in Korea is very expensive.  That's why most drunks stick to soju or rice wine.  Sadly, I can no longer handle the hard stuff.  I'm just too old.

I watched the season finale of The Island.  The men capture a small crocodile.  They then debate whether to slay the beast or let it live. One of the contestants begs for the creature's life.  In the end, they stick a knife in the croc's head and cook it for dinner. Good for them.  It was the correct decision.  Men were given dominion over the animals, and people need to eat.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus for peace.  The Dragon Lady is currently in Pusan having a pow-wow with her family.  They're probably badmouthing me as we speak.  Yet I've done nothing wrong.  I don't cheat. I don't hit people.  I don't gamble.  And I'm nice to children and ponies.  I have no idea why everybody hates me.  Oh well. What's a boy to do?

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a dream about Bernie Sanders.  We were swimming on a segregated beach.  Some uppity blacks tried to join the party.  But Bernie warned them that they would be crucified if they didn't follow the law.  He said, "Do you want to end up like Jesus?"  They didn't.  So they swam forlornly to the colored section. 

I woke up at 9 a.m.  I turned on my laptop.  It turns out the Dylann Roof wasn't eligible to own a pistol.  Roof's a felon with a drug conviction.  It seems there was a glitch in his background check. I'm a huge advocate of the 2nd amendment--even though scores of innocent Americans get gunned down every year.  I just don't trust the government.  Perhaps I'm a loon in the mold of Alex Jones.

I read the paper later in the day.  Korea has mandatory military service for all male citizens.  Every swinging dick on the peninsula must spend 22 months in the army.  Those who refuse to do so for religious reasons are put in jail for the same duration.  The government's now contemplating alternative service for the yellow-bellies.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Love the One Your With by Stephen Stills.  

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Thursday

(What a great show.)

Yesterday, I cooked beef for dinner.  I just threw the meat in a frying pan and let it sizzle.  I added lots of salt and cooking oil.  The meal tasted wonderful.  My eldest son James-uh loved it.  He devoured every last morsel.  We washed the vittles down with several glasses on generic cola.  We had a good time.

I watched the season finale of Penny Dreadful.  It was extremely disturbing.  Frankenstein's monster literally rips his captors from limb to limb.  He then proceeds to smash an old man's head into a bloody pulp.  Meanwhile, Ethan turns into a werewolf and decapitates one of the witches.  Lastly, Miss Ives defeats Lucifer after learning that she's actually an evil Egyptian deity in human form.  Now that's entertainment.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I asked Jesus to protect me from the wrath of the Dragon Lady.  She keeps calling with threats of total destruction.  I have no idea why she's so pissed.  Her red-hot fury makes zero sense.  She's the one who kicked me out.  The loon acts as if I'm the one who abandoned her.  Go figure.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Conor McGregor is no longer fighting Jose Aldo on July 11th.  His new opponent will be Chad Mendes.  This match is bad luck for the UFC.  Mendes is going to rip Conor a new Irish asshole.  Dana White's big money fighter is on his way to a first-class ass-whipping.  I can't wait to view it.

I read the paper later in the day.  Koreans are have fewer children because of economic concerns.  Kids are certainly expensive.  But they do bring joy and love to our otherwise empty lives.  They're certainly more valuable than a few extra dollars in our pockets.  Koreans are often full of shit.  I have no idea what makes them tick.  Most are pagan idolaters.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Space Truckin by Deep Purple.  God bless.  

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Tuesday

(Living with a narcissist is sheer hell.)

Yesterday, I went to Emart with James-uh.  Monday is wonderful for shopping.  The five-story parking-garage had tons of open spaces.  We spent 80 dollars stocking up on groceries.  We're used to living with a high-conflict woman.  Everything out of her mouth is asshole-this or motherfucker-that.  The peace was amazing.

I cooked dinner.  We had fried shrimp and tortilla bread.  I'm no Betty Crocker, but the meal was damn good.  Not walking on eggshells is a wonderful feeling.  I washed the vittles down with two plastic bottles of rice wine.  I got toasted.  It was a dumb move.  I must resist becoming a drunkard.

I was too plastered to watch television.  But I did pay homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I thanked Jesus for his kindness.  It turns out that my mother is cancer-free.  So I'm not on the short-list for becoming an orphan.  What a relief.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I borrowed Harrison Ford's motorcycle and drove it to Texas.  On the way, two cows fell out of a truck and landed on the highway.  The beasts chased the vehicle for miles and miles.  Yet the driver paid no notice to the furry creatures galloping behind him.  The end.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Billy Cosby admitted that he slipped dope to girls in order to get sex.  I don't understand the logic.  Bill's a big-time star.  He could make it with half the chicks on the planet.  So why drug them?  The answer is simple.  There's something about an unconscious female which gives Cosby wood.

I read the paper later in the day.  An editorial writer badmouthed the pope.  I got a bit peeved.  First of all, I love Francis like a brother.  Secondly, the writer doesn't truly understand liberation theology.  He's confusing the movement with Marxism.  Nothing could be further from the the truth.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Love Stinks by The J. Geils Band.  God bless.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Monday

(Japan gets thrashed by America.  Deal with it, junior.)

Yesterday, I took my eldest son James-uh to a restaurant.  We ate fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken.  He ordered a coke while I consumed an entire pitcher of beer.  The experience was heavenly.  James-uh wanted to leave early in order to play computer games.  But I made him stay so that I could enjoy his company.  I asked him if he had a girlfriend.  He told me to shut up.  Talking with a teenager is hard work.

I watched season three of Orange Is the New Black.  The hillbilly girl with the porcelain teeth gets raped by a new prison guard.  The scene is tough to watch.  She cries silently during the crime.  Meanwhile, the ladies learn that Piper is getting seventy dollars every time she sells a pair of used panties.  They're tired of being paid with flavor packs.  They want their cut.  Orange Is the New Black is a wonderful series.  It's definitely must see television.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to help my kids.  I really don't want to go back to their mother.  But, at the same time, I'm not a big believer in divorce.  I'd prefer to work out a deal where we stayed married on paper without having to see each other.  The whole mess must be hell on the children.  Talk about confusing.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Several piranhas were found in a large Korean reservoir.  Officials believe the fish must have been released into the eco-system as a joke.  But nobody's too worried.  All the piranhas will die when winter comes.  So the odds of a swimmer being attacked and devoured are slim to none.

I checked the Fox News website later in the day.  The American women's soccer team are the champions of the world.  They defeated the Japanese by the score of 5-2.  I find the news very exciting.  My country has faced some rough times over the past 16 years.  A little bit of good news certainly doesn't hurt.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Sober by Tool.  God bless. 

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Sunday

(I recently saw The Terminator.)

Yesterday, I took my youngest son Bluce to a movie.  We watched the latest version of The Terminator.  The film stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as a good robot.  There are several bad robots which Arnold manages to subdue.  Schwarzenegger looks great for his age.  Plus he still possesses oodles and oodles of charm.  My boy and I had a great time.

Then we went to a restaurant and ate shabu-shabu.  Shabu-shabu is razor thin beef boiled in broth with noodles, mushrooms, and assorted vegetables.  The meal was great.  However, it was a bit pricey.  It came to nearly fifty bucks.  Plus the eatery had no cola.  I had to make do with some type of fancy Japanese tea.  Finery is completely wasted on a slob like me.

I tried watching television.  But a horrible fight broke out in my humble abode between the Dragon Lady and James-uh.  She screamed at him for over an hour because she caught him playing computer games.  The language she used on the poor kid was atrocious. 

I tried to calm her down with reason.  Sadly, narcissists don't respond to logic.  She threw my Samsung smart phone out a fourth story window.  Then she kicked us both out of the apartment--for the millionth and final time.  I can't deal with her rage anymore, so I'm calling it quits.  Life's too short.  On the bright side, the phone survived without a scratch.  Samsung makes good shit.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty misanthrope.  The thanked Jesus for my life.  It hasn't been too bad up to this point. And even though I'm separating from my spouse, things could be worse.  Lots of men go through this bullshit.  The situation will get better.

I went to bed at 2 a.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 10 a.m. with nothing to do.  My new pad doesn't have a television.  Yet maybe that's a blessing.  Perhaps I should start reading more books.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Where Have All the Good Times Gone by Van Halen.  Cheers. 

Friday, July 3, 2015

Friday

(Alone is very entertaining.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to Dunkin' Donuts.  Even though my wife's a loon, I'm the one who calls the shots.  Thursday is donut night, and there isn't a damn thing she can do about it.  She brought home several delicious pastries in a large cardboard box.  I ate them while drinking a plastic bottle of generic cola.  The experience was heavenly.

I watched the latest episode of Alone.  What can I tell you?  I love survival shows.  Ten men are taken to Vancouver Island and dropped off in the forest.  The one who stays the longest wins $500,000.  They frequently get harrassed by bears and wolves.  So far, two men have dropped out of the contest.  They both cried like a couple of forlorn women.  But I would've done the same thing.  Woodland creatures give me the willies.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  Once again, I asked Jesus to spare my mother from cancer.  We still haven't gotten any news about her biopsy.  It looks as if we won't get the results until after the long weekend.  I guess her pathologist is too busy setting up his 4th of July barbecue grill to get any work done.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed ISIS.  The terror group has allegedly executed seventy-three children for crimes against Islam.  Supposedly, three youngsters were recently crucified for eating during Ramadan.  I have zero affection for militant rag-heads.  Nevertheless, I always take these vile facts with a grain of salt.  There were reports during the first Iraq War of babies being thrown from incubators.  It turned out that the rumors were bullshit.

I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Chinese are getting taller.  It seems that better nutrition is making them grow by leaps and bounds.  Sadly, they're also getting fatter.  Ten percent of the population is considered obese.  Soon, they'll be fat and miserable just like their American brothers and sisters.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's The Gambler by Kenny Rogers.  God bless.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Thursday

(Zoo is kind of stupid.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made beef and rice for dinner.  Her effort wasn't very impressive.  Who knows?  Maybe I'm at fault.  I'm just sick and tired of looking at rice.  But I didn't complain.  I smiled and ate my vittles with a song in my heart and a smile on my lips.  I'm wonderful that way.  The birds are always singing at my humble abode.

I watched a new series called Zoo.  Mankind manages to piss off all the animals, and now our four-legged friends are yearning for murderous revenge.  In the first episode, angry lions kill over a dozen unsuspecting humans with their ferocious teeth and claws.  The premise of the show is pretty stupid.  Nevertheless, stupid can work if the characters are interesting.  For instance, Supernatural's an entertaining yet retarded drama.  Can Zoo pull off that same type of magic?  Only time will tell.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus to help my mother through her recent cancer scare.  The results from the pathologist are supposed to come tomorrow afternoon.  I hope the doctor doesn't make her wait too long.  My anus is puckering with fear and anxiety.  I need to know one way or the other.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed Ben Affleck.  Ben recently divorced his wife.  She's in showbiz, too.  I love watching movies and television.  But I don't know much about the actors.  I have zero interest in their lives.  I've got my own problems to deal with.

I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A man from Pusan got very high on crank.  Then he broke into a female shower room.  The frightened ladies called the police.  After being subdued, he told the cops that he was hiding from men who were trying to kill him.  I've never tried narcotics.  But I've had some wild nights toasted on alcohol.  All drugs suck ass.  No shit.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Like a Rock by Bob Seger.  God bless.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Wednesday

(True Detective is a wild ride.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made pork and rice for dinner. The meal was quite good.  My family eats a lot of pig.  It's both cheap and delicious.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  All that sugar sent me to the moon.  I'm very thankful for my good fortune.  I could have been born in Chad.

I watched the latest episode of True Detective.  I'm not sure where this show is going.  It's tone is extremely dour, dark, and moody. Vince Vaughn gets all his money stolen by a former employee.  This thief is savagely tortured by having his eyes removed with acid and his penis shot off with a rifle.  Colin Farrel--who appears to be the protagonist--is then abruptly murdered by a psycho in a bird costume.  Nevertheless, I'm there till the bitter end.  Gruesome horror tales thrill me to the bone.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy misanthrope.  I asked Jesus for the strength to overcome temptation.  I've been doing a lot of research on narcissism.  And I want to use this newly found knowledge to torture my loony wife.  Narcissists seem to hate silence, yes and no answers, and thinly veiled insults.  I plan employ these tactics against the Dragon Lady.  I'm tired of dancing to her tune.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on Fox News.  Chris Christie's running for president.  Big deal.  That fat rude Yankee has zero chance of garnering the republican nomination.  He better stick to what he does best:  bullying the weak and eating donuts.

I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Korean baseball league makes good money.  But attendance is way down this year because of the recent MERS outbreak.  The teams are losing tons of cash.  On the bright side, nobody has died in the last few days.  So things might get back to normal.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's All These Things That I Have Done by The Killers.  God bless.