(Eric Bolling got attacked by Dana Perino.)
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared beef and rice for dinner. The meal was more of the same old, same old. I'm sick of rice. In Asia, it's even served at breakfast along with smelly, blood-curdling kimchi. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I try to remain positive at all costs. I'm just thankful that I wasn't born in Liberia.
My mom called. The doctor found a lump in her breast, so she has to go in for a biopsy. Strangely enough, I feel optimistic. Not a single person in her family has ever had any type of cancer. Plus she's experiencing no pain or fatigue. But what do I know? Mom's 68-years-old. This thing called life doesn't last forever. However, I'm not going to lie. Her demise would crush me. The big difference between my mother and my wife is that my mother actually loves me.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty misanthrope. I asked Jesus for eternal life and the keys to his kingdom. And why not? If you're going to talk to the Savior, you might as well go for the gusto. When my spirit passes to the other side, I want prime real-estate. I certainly don't wish to live in the same neighborhood as the capitalists and the whore-mongers. I've got standards.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on Fox News. The Five was rather exciting. Dana Perino accused Eric Bolling of pandering to Donald Trump. She claimed that he's kissing Trump's ass in order to get on Celebrity Apprentice. Eric went nuts. He became so angry that he had trouble forming words. I really thought he might storm off the set. Yet, in the end, he managed to hold it together. Good for him.
I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A man from Seoul was arrested for breaking windows with a slingshot. He caused $9,000 in damages. Slingshots are super dangerous. Those projectiles are capable of taking human life. Just ask Goliath.
Anyway, it's time for the song du jour. Here's Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley. God bless.