Friday, August 29, 2014

Friday

(Lee Seung-Yeop struck out in the ninth inning.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served fish and rice for dinner.  The meal was all right.  At least the rice wasn't purple this time.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.  But I'm thinking of switching to tea.  My belly is so big that I'm using it as an arm-rest.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions travelled to Seoul to play the Doosan Bears.  The Lions lost the game 6-5.  The squad had a chance to take the lead in the top of the ninth.  Lee Seung-Yeop stepped to the plate with two down and a man on second.  Sadly, the 37-year-old home run legend struck out while trying to hit a nasty slider.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty nihilist.  I asked Jesus to transform my wife into a friendly person.  I'm tired of listening to the woman.  All she does is bitch, bitch, bitch.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I stood on a hill looking down on a supermarket.  It was my place of employment.  I walked into the store with a heap of plastic bottles cradled in my arms.  I dropped the bottles and buffed the floors.  After that, I filled a large bin with inflatable beach balls.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A man from Canada wrote an editorial about driving through the Korean countryside.  He exhorted his fellow foreigners to get out of their houses and enjoy the natural beauty which the peninsula has to offer. Unfortunately, I'm too lazy to drag my fat ass off the sofa.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed Vladimir Putin.  I'm no fan of this shirtless moron.  But the Russian people seem to adore their president.  His approval rating is through the roof.  I just hope his never ending gamesmanship doesn't lead to a widespread war in Europe.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Jim Rickards discussing the future of gold with Peter Schiff.

God bless.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Thursday

(Jeff Rense has wonderful hair.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served pork and rice for dinner.  The meal wasn't very good.  I'm not a big fan of rice.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my food like a well-trained retarded child.  I'm wonderful that way.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me great pleasure.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions played the Lotte Giants in the city of Pusan.  Lotte won the game 11-4.  J.D. Martin was the starting pitcher for the Lions.  He's a white man from Louisiana.  His wife and young son are always in the stands dressed in LSU gear.  I love the Tigers.  Poor old Smith bleeds purple and gold.

I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I asked Jesus to help my eldest son become a more serious student.  The kid's blessed with a lot of intellectual talent.  Yet he squanders his considerable gifts on internet bullshit. He's just another lonely crackhead blowing up the virtual universe.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Manchester United got trounced 4-0 by the lowly MK Dons.  The Dons are a team mired in England's 3rd division.  United, on the other hand, is a world class squad.  So this kind of shit isn't supposed to happen.  Perhaps their humiliating defeat is a sign of the coming apocalypse.  One can only hope.

I turned on Fox News.  A firearms instructor from Arizona was teaching a nine-year-old kid how to shoot an Uzi.  The little girl accidentally killed the man with the weapon.  I'm a huge proponent of the 2nd Amendment.  However, knuckleheads who hand machine guns to children make conservatives look stupid.  A bit of commonsense goes a long way.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's crazy Jeff Rense discussing the sorry state of world with Gerald Celente.

God bless.   

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Tuesday

(The Knick is the best show on television.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made beef and rice for dinner.  The meal wasn't very good.  In fact, the rice was purple.  The purple stuff is supposed to be healthier than the white variety.  Nevertheless, the color didn't help my appetite.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  But the sugar failed to mask the flavor.

I watched the latest episode of The Knick.  Clive Owen is an impressive actor, and his series is far and away the best on television.  Dr. Thackery's latest patient is a woman being eaten alive by syphillis.  She's even lost her nose to the illness.  He desperately tries to help.  Yet the technology to make her beautiful again simply doesn't exist.  So the poor creature is forced to spend the rest of her life with a gaping hole in the middle of her face.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to help me through this endless recession.  I've got mouths to feed.  I just hope that I can keep working till I keel over and die. 

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Korea won the Little League World Series.  The peninsula is screaming with joy.  Beating the snot out of an American team is icing on top of the cake.

I turned on Fox News.  James Foley was beheaded by a rapper from an affluent suburb of London.  Talk about adding insult to injury.  Radical Islam is a scourge facing the entire planet.  Nothing satisfies these devilish ragheads.  Mark my words. Eventually, they'll kill us all.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil caps.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing the death of Mike Brown.

God bless.            

Monday, August 25, 2014

Monday

(Senator John McCain takes a picture with Islamic terrorists.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  I'm 45-years-old, so I try to keep in shape.  It's a losing battle.  The sermon was actually pretty good.  The speaker integrated the New Testament with modern day politics.  I enjoy that kind of stuff.

I took the family to McDonald's.  I had a Big Mac with two large orders of French Fries.  The kids ate chicken nuggets.  I'm a big fan of junk food.  Starch and sugar bring me much happiness.  But I cannot tell a lie.  I really miss smoking.  Giving up the booze was no big deal.  However, I'd remove my left nut with a warm spoon for a pack of Marlboros. 

We returned to our Soviet-style concrete tenement.  Don't laugh.  It's nearly paid-for.  I downloaded the latest episode of Hell On Wheels.  The series is one of my all-time favorites.  It's set in the in the city of Cheyenne, Wyoming.  The program's filled with crazy Mormons, blood-thirsty Indians, scheming prostitutes, degenerate gamblers, etc.  What's not to love?  Hell On Wheels has my highest recommendation.  Give the show a try.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to look after the health of my children.  There's a nasty bug going around.  Poor James-uh can't stop hacking his lungs out.  Perhaps he contracted the deadly Ebola virus.  Stranger things have happened.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  My sister and I were children again.  We walked to a local convenience store and bought Pop Rocks.  We then had a violent argument concerning school work.  I spilled the candy on the sidewalk.  After that, I cried like a woman.

I woke up at 6 a.m.  I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Korean men are travelling to the Philippines to copulate with the natives.  Many of the women are becoming pregnant.  Later, the men fly back to the peninsula without supporting their children.  The fatherless waifs are referred to as Kopinos.  The powers-that-be are cracking down on these deadbeat fathers.  And rightly so.

I turned on Fox News.  ISIS is still causing problems.  John McCain called Obama a pussy.  He believes the president should be doing much more to stem the bloodshed in the Middle East.  A few years back, McCain had his picture taken with known Islamic terrorists.  Sadly, he was too freaking stupid to tell the difference between a good Muslim and a bad Muslim.  The senator needs to keep his mouth shut.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones.  He believes the American government wants to place us all in concentration camps.

God bless.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Saturday

(Dustin Nippert pitches for the Doosan Bears.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to Homeplus.  She brought a pepperoni pizza back to our humble abode.  It came in a large cardboard box.  The meal was delicious.  I love junk food.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.  The experience was heavenly.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions hosted the Doosan Bears in the city of Daegu.  Doosan won the game 5-4.  The starting pitcher for the Bears was a white man named Dustin Nippert.  He used to play for the Arizona Diamondbacks, but things didn't work out.  Mr. Nippert makes $470,000 a year.  That's great money.  Plus he loves his job.  Talk about a blessing.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to care for the health of my eldest boy James-uh.  The poor kid's running a high fever with flu-like symptoms.  In fact, his mother's taking him to the hospital as we speak.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a strange dream.  I was put in charge of a company picnic.  However, I had to borrow money in order to buy the meat.  People complained that there wasn't enough food.  To make matters worse, I didn't have a nickel to repay my debt.  Everybody hated me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Korean police caught thirty foreigners selling and smoking marijuana.  They'll end up serving jail time before being deported.  Drugs are no laughing matter here in Asia.  It's best to leave your stash at home.

I turned on Fox News.  The president's playing too much golf.  Even the New York Times is complaining about his aloof behavior.  He does seem quite detached these days.  But he's never been a passionate man.  Obama's too cool for school.  That's why the ladies love him.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's a mega-rant by Alex Jones.

God bless.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Thursday

(James Foley is the latest victim of the Muslim Horde.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared curry and rice for dinner.  The meal was nothing special.  I'm not a big fan of rice.  Yet I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  I'm wonderful that way.  The glass is always half-full in Smith's humble abode. 

I washed the food down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.  Then I downloaded the latest episode of Under the Dome.  Sadly, the show has completely jumped the shark.  It's far too outlandish.  The characters are surrounded by a translucent dome.  However, there's a secret door which will release them to a neighboring town.  On top of that, the military industrial complex is frantically searching for a magic egg.  I simply can't handle the bullshit.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty nihilist.  I asked Jesus to keep me healthy.  Poor old Smith has a terrible cold.  I can't stop coughing and blowing my nose.  Perhaps I've contracted the deadly Ebola virus.  I wouldn't be surprised.  Stranger things have happened.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another nightmare.  My pastor was really pissed at the congregation.  He accused us of misinterpreting Paul's letter to the Romans.  He said we were ignorant and implored us to change our evil ways.  We agreed to try harder.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Korean authorities are concerned with a rise in gangsterism.  Back in the day, the local thugs were only involved in extortion and loansharking.  Currently, however, the criminal element is quite diverse in their illegal activities.  Officials fear that they might even possess the know-how to manipulate the domestic stock market.

I turned on Fox News.  ISIS beheaded an American journalist named James Foley.  Mr. Foley's execution was both savage and gut-wrenching.  I hold no love for Islam.  And can you blame me?  Most Muslims are primitive knuckle-draggers who prefer living in the seventh century.  Mark my words. These loons will end up killing us all.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones.  He believes America is worse than North Korea.

God bless.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Tuesday

(Ray Donovan is definitely worth a look.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady worked late, so I made dinner for the family.  We had beef and rice with cola and chocolate.  Poor old Smith can't find his way around a kitchen like Betty Crocker.  Yet I'm not half bad with a frying pan.  The boys didn't complain--which certainly isn't saying much.  Those two would eat a pile of shit out a skid-row dumpster.

I downloaded a show called Ray Donovan.  Ray's a fixer from Boston who currently lives in Los Angeles.  He does all the dirty work for his rich Jew employer.  Ray has quite a few millstones hanging from his neck.  His priest molested him back in the day.  His father spent 20 years in jail.  His sister committed suicide.  His brother has Parkinson's Disease.  You get the idea.  He's a troubled man.  What can I tell you?  I love the series.  I highly recommend it to everyone.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to look after my health for the next twenty years.  I want to give my sons a good start in life.  After that, poor old Smith is free to die of ass cancer.  Amen.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  The police put me in jail because of a crime committed in Central America.  They claimed that drug lords had taken over my house and were using it as a base to kill innocent people.  I told them that I didn't own any property in that part of the globe.  They wouldn't listen.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A government prosecutor from Jeju Island lost his job because he supposedly masturbated in public.  One of the witnesses is a female high school student.  I'm a tad skeptical about the whole incident.  Koreans are notorious for playing hard and dirty in the game of politics.

I turned on Fox News.  The lawlessness continues in Ferguson, Missouri.  The governor recently called out the National Guard to keep the looters at bay.  I'm not overly fond of politicians or gangsters.  Our rights are constantly crushed by both groups.  They love to see us in chains, and our fear makes them feel powerful.  Bastards.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's a great rant from Gerald Celente.

God bless. 

Monday, August 18, 2014

Monday

(I've never met Alex Jones.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  No big deal.  I'm thirty pounds overweight, so I exercise to avoid death.  Don't get me wrong.  I never lose any significant weight.  However, I do manage to maintain my current girth.  Poor old Smith is just your average American fat ass.  Luckily, I'm not morbidly obese.

The service was the same-old same-old.  My pastor scolded me once again.  I read the bible.  I go to church.  I pray daily.  But that's not enough.  According to him, I'm still a judgmental, legalistic asshole.  He'd actually like me better if I were a black cross-dressing homosexual.  Conservative white men are despised globally--even by members of the clergy.  I shit you not.

I took the family to lunch.  We had a dish called tok-terri-tong.  Translation?  Hot chicken soup with potatoes.  The meal was delicious.  Yet be warned.  The spice will burn a hole through your tongue.  The dish is very ethnic.  Therefore, you have to be open to a new experience before giving the food a try.

I downloaded a show called The Knick.  It stars Clive Owen as a cocaine-addicted turn-of-the-century surgeon.  This series is currently the best program on television.  Nothing comes close.  However, the medical scenes are often extremely graphic.  I don't want to give too much away.  Get back to me and tell me what you think. Your opinions on the state of modern drama are always highly valued.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to help me be a better person.  I certainly don't want to go around judging the world as if I were a king.  It all begins with humility.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a strange dream.  I was a student at the United States Naval Academy.  I attended a guest lecture by Alex Jones.  My cell phone rang and I had to leave the auditorium in a hurry.  Alex gave me a dirty look.  After that, he accused me of being globalist scum.  The other students laughed uproariously.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the newspaper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Manchester United lost 2-1 at home against lowly Swansea.  It might be another difficult season for the boys in red.  One of the strikers for Swansea is Korean.  He managed to score the first goal.  I can't remember his name.

I turned on Fox News.  David Gregory got fired from Meet the Press.  His ratings were absolutely awful.  He's being replaced by Chuck Todd.  NBC has lost too much credibility to be taken seriously by the folks.  The whole network is singularly devoted to wiping President Obama's ass.  They're truly just an arm of the federal government.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Max Keiser discussing the next great depression with Dr. Michael Hudson.

God bless.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Saturday

 (Michael Brown was no gentle giant.)

Yesterday, I didn't enjoy a traditional dinner.  I ate several hunks of apple pie instead.  The Dragon Lady purchased the pastry at Costco.  It cost ten dollars.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola.  Unfortunately, poor old Smith has little cash, so I can only afford the off-brands.  Yet I remain thankful.  At least I wasn't born in Liberia.

I downloaded the latest episode of The Strain.  I'm starting to warm to the show.  Death by disease is downright terrifying--especially with the current Ebola scare.  The Strain effectively exploits our primordial fear of sickness.  For instance, would you kiss an uncle infected with AIDS on the forehead?  Or would you prefer to politely keep your distance?  This strong aversion to viruses and bacteria is built into our brains as we mature in the womb.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to teach my wife some basic manners.  She often hurls terrible insults at her loving husband.  I used to believe that hitting a woman was a horrible crime.  Now I wonder if Ray Rice got a bum rap from the feminist powers-that-be.  Just saying.

(Running back Ray Rice knocked his fiancee out cold in an elevator.)

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a dream about driving through Venice, Louisiana.  I parked in front of a red building.  The door was locked.  I walked across the highway toward a yellow building.  That door was locked, too.  I nearly got hit by a car for my troubles.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A lot of middle aged Koreans aren't getting sex from their husbands.  In fact, according to the survey, twenty-five percent haven't had coitus in over a month.  Stress seems to be the main culprit for this lack of affection.

I turned on Fox News.  The shooting in Ferguson, Missouri is still dominating the headlines.  But the victim Michael Brown wasn't some innocent gentle giant.  Far from it.  In fact, Big Mike was caught on camera committing robbery and assault a mere three hours before his death.  So I'm not throwing this cop in prison just yet.  If a criminal that size approached me in a threatening manner, I'd shoot him, too.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Paul Craig Roberts. He believes the American dollar will soon die.

God bless.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Friday

(Kim Kwang-Hyun pitches for the SK Wyverns.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared spicy beef and noodles for dinner.  The meal sucked ass.  Korean food doesn't always float my boat.  The fare can be both strange and intimidating.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm wonderful that way.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The SK Wyverns hosted the Samsung Lions in the city of Incheon.  Samsung won the game 2-1.  The starting pitcher for the Wyverns was Kim Kwang-Hyun.  Mr. Kim's attracting a lot of attention from American scouts.  They think he has the right stuff to jump into the major leagues.  Kwang-Hyun makes $750,000 a year.  That's great money.  He also has a wonderful set of teeth.  What a lucky man.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not a dirty misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to help me with some health issues.  My choppers have been giving me problems for several years now.  I live in a constant state of nagging pain.  Soon I'll be toothless.  But at least the agony might come to an end.  A comfortable life with dentures would suit me just fine.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another dream concerning fishing.  I waded into a frigid river and tried to catch a giant sturgeon.  I hooked a leviathan so large that it dragged me under the water.  I used to be an avid sportsman.  Perhaps I should spend my weekends escaping the urban jungle.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Both men and women are eating far too much salt.  This overindulgence kills nearly two million people globally per year.  I love salt.  I refuse to cut back.  I already gave up smoking and drinking.  That's as far as I'm willing to go.

I turned on Fox News.  A young black man in Ferguson, Missouri was shot and killed by a white cop.  The folks are up in arms.  Some broke into stores and stole merchandise.  Others hurled Molotov cocktails at the fuzz.  The police employed tear gas and rubber bullets to quell the unrest.  Things seem calm today.  I'll keep you updated.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing American race relations. 

God bless.  

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Wednesday

(I've never played darts with Ted Turner.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served Korean pancakes for dinner.  The meal was comprised of fried batter mixed with vegetables and squid.  My kids love that kind of stuff.  For me, however, the fare was just a little bit too ethnic.  But I didn't complain.  I smiled and ate my vittles like a happy young retarded boy.  I'm wonderful that way.  The glass is always half-full in Smith's neighborhood.

I downloaded a series called The Divide.  It centers around an innocent Caucasian who stands accused of slaughtering a black family.  The show's filled with a shitload of HBO veteran actors.  You'll recognize a lot of familiar faces. I find the premise quite shocking.  In the liberal media, the white man is always the villain. So this change is quite refreshing.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I asked Jesus to give me more patience.  Lately, I've been quick to anger.  This unwanted fury often eats at me like a cancer.  Conversely, forgiveness and serenity are wonderful for the body.  They make us both spiritually and physically healthy.  Trust me.  Emotional baggage is for the birds.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream about playing darts in a bar with Ted Turner.  Mr. Turner was the owner of the tavern.  He kept hurling insults at me.  I called him rude and informed him that I'd never drink in his establishment again.  He promptly expressed remorse for his bad behavior.  I refused to accept his apology.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Asian Games are coming to the peninsula in September.  The Korean squad is expected to win the gold medal in baseball.  Japan has the strongest professional league in Asia.  However, their team is made up entirely of amateurs.

I turned on Fox News.  Robin Williams committed suicide.  I loved Mork and Mindy.  I also marveled at his mad stand-up comedy skills.  But most of his movies sucked complete ass.  He frequently played pompous know-it-alls.  Patch Adams was so bad that I damn near cried during the film.  No kidding.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones.  He believes that Osama Bin Laden is still alive.

God bless.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Monday

(The Last Ship is good for a laugh.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  No big deal.  I need the exercise.  I'm thirty pounds overweight.  I used to be much skinnier back when I was addicted to cigarettes.  Sadly, the game's rigged.  You can smoke a Joe and die of cancer.  Or you can eat a burger and watch your heart explode.  So what's a boy to do?  Yet I remain thankful.  At least I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I accidentally angered my pastor.  He kept talking about justification versus works.  The conflict is as old as the bible, itself. He said that I was too legalistic and asked me if Jesus is working miracles in my life.  I told him that my salvation is completely up to God.  There's no way for a man to be absolutely certain if he's saved or not.  He accused me of denying Christ--which probably means that I'm going to hell.  His words struck me as a tad harsh.  I'm not some biblical scholar.  I'm merely an average guy raising a family.  No need to spiritually terrorize me.


I took my family to Kentucky Fried Chicken.  We had chicken and French fries for lunch.  It's a pleasure watching my youngest child eat.  His name's Bluce.  I've never seen such a small creature shovel that much food into his mouth.  He devoured four large pieces of poultry.  Then he washed it all down with ice cream while giving his older brother the bird.  What a manly specimen. Bluce is quickly becoming an outrageous bad-ass.  Good for him.

We walked back to our Soviet-style concrete apartment.  I downloaded a show called The Last Ship.  The story centers around a virus which is infecting the entire world.  This dastardly bug has a hundred percent kill rate.  The only survivors are on a boat drifting in the ocean.  I've only completed the first episode.  I'll let you know how it ends.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big deal.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to heal the muscles in my thighs.  Lately, they've been giving me some nagging pain.  Nothing too serious.  But little injuries often grow into life-threatening maladies.  My apartment has no elevator.  I have to hoof it up four flights of stairs.  I need my legs to remain healthy.

I went to bed at midnight.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Twenty South Koreans are currently on death row in the Chinese prison system.  The vast majority have been found guilty of narcotics distribution.  The rest have been convicted of murder.  There's not much the South Korean government can do for the men.  Those boys are screwed with a capital S.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Max Keiser discussing the European Union with Simon Rose.

God bless.  

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Saturday

(Shane Youman pitches for the Lotte Giants.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to Emart.  She brought home a peperoni pizza.  It came in a large cardboard box.  The Children of the Rice killed the entire pie in less than fifteen minutes.  I only managed to eat three slices.  I'm lucky to have escaped with my fingers.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Sadly, poor old Smith can only afford off-brands.  Yet I remain thankful.  Things could be much worse.  I'm just happy that I wasn't born in Chad.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions hosted the Lotte Giants in the city of Daegu.  The Lions won the game 10-9.  The starting pitcher for Lotte was an American named Shane Youman.  He's from the great state of Louisiana.  Shane used to pitch for the Pittsburgh Pirates, but things didn't work out.  Mr. Youman currently makes $360,000 a year doing what he loves.  Plus he has all his teeth.  What a lucky man.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus for a life with no drama.  I absolutely hate conflict.  I wish I had a switch that could turn off my brain.  Vegetables must be the happiest of all the living organisms.  What I wouldn't give to be a carrot.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a dream about a girl I used to know.  She kept asking me to touch her breasts.  I refused.  She had a boyfriend, and I didn't want to make him angry.  I feared that he might become violent.  Perhaps I'm a latent homosexual.  Stranger things have happened.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A teacher in Incheon recently got reprimanded.  He sprayed insecticide on the face of a naughty young high school student.  Corporal punishment was recently banned here on the peninsula, and many teachers are having a tough time maintaining control in their classrooms.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed the sad situation in Iraq. The majority of the panel seemed to favor boots on the ground.  Yet the Iraqi army outnumbers ISIS five to one.  I thought we trained those Shiite bastards in the art of warfare.  If that's the best they can do, then they better get ready for a Sunni boot on their throat.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Bill Bonner discussing the upcoming financial collapse with Alex Jones.  

God bless.   

Friday, August 8, 2014

Friday

(Broadchurch is limey drama at its best.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served beef and rice for dinner.  The meal wasn't very good.  I'm not a big fan of rice.  Later, we ate pecan pie for desert.  Sugar makes me fat and happy.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  I don't miss drinking alcohol.  But I certainly long for a cigarette every now and again.

I downloaded a show called Broadchurch.  It came highly recommended by one of my limey readers.  Usually, I stay away from English drama.  I don't feel sophisticated enough to handle all that highly-intellectual wit.  This time, however, I rolled the dice and took my chances.  I wasn't disappointed.  

The series centers on the murder of an eleven-year-old boy.  The protagonist is a grizzled kilt-wearing sheep-shagger from the Scottish highlands.  He botched up his last investigation, and he's desperately searching for redemption.  Don't be afraid to give Broadchurch a try.  You'll get used to the funny accents.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to let me live for another twenty years.  I need the time to give my boys a good start in life.  After that, He's free to zap me with ass cancer.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a strange dream.  I met an old buddy at a wedding.  He was extremely angry and kept calling me a motherfucker.  He even tried to slap me across the face.  Suddenly, I hugged him and apologized.  We instantly became the best of friends.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The MLS All-Stars beat Bayern Munich 2-1.  Munich won Champions League a couple years back.  Aren Robben is one of Bayern's top players.  American soccer keeps getting better and better.

I turned on Fox News.  The Muslim nut-jobs who comprise ISIS have trapped 40,000 Iraqis on a mountainside.  These twisted men of God believe their enemies are satanists and wish to wipe them off the face of the earth for crimes against Allah.  Trust me.  Islam will eventually be our complete destruction.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Gary Null badmouthing Israel with guest Gerald Celente.  

Cheers.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Thursday

(Austan Goolsbee is Obama's butt-boy.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served pork and French fries for dinner.  The meal was delicious.  My family eats a lot of pig.  It tastes great, and it's much cheaper than beef.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.  I was in heaven.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Hanwha Eagles hosted the Samsung Lions in the city Cheonju.  The Lions were defeated by the score of 4 to 2.  The game was exiting.  It ended in extra-innings with a walk-off home run.

Hanwha's starting pitcher was a white man named Andrew Albers. Mr. Albers is from Canada.  He used to play for the Minnesota Twins, but things didn't work out.  Andrew now makes $800,000 a year.  That's great money.  Furthermore, he still has all his teeth.  He's truly a lucky man.

(Andrew Albers is a rich man with all his teeth.)

I paid homage to the Christ God.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I asked Jesus to repair the relationship between James-uh and his mother.  They continue to fight like cats and dogs. He hates to study, so she always threatens to kick his ass.  Our home life is a total drag.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a strange dream.  I was a personal security guard for a rich couple in Houston, Texas.  The husband wanted to watch as poor old Smith had sex with his wife.  I was OK with the offer.  However, the unfortunate woman became irate.  She even wrote an angry letter to Dear Abby wishing for my death.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  There are lots of stray dogs here on the peninsula.  Koreans don't share the same warm feelings for canines as their western counterparts.  Many still view them as food. These shunned pets are often captured and killed.  Their meat is then sold to local restaurants to be used in soup.

I turned on Fox News.  Bill O'Reilly interviewed Professor Austan Goolsbee.  Dr. Goolsbee claims the economy is recovering quite nicely.  According to him, ten million jobs have been added since 2009.  Austan's bullshit shouldn't surprise anybody.  He's been Obama's butt-boy for a long long time.  Asshole.

Anyway, it's time to put on our tinfoil hats.  Alex Jones believes that the government is turning red-blooded men into homosexuals.  God bless.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Wednesday

(Pope Francis is coming to South Korea.)

Yesterday, I had a chicken sandwich for dinner.  I also ate a huge hunk of pecan pie.  We bought the pie at Costco.  It cost fifteen dollars.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  I love sugary soft drinks.  The experience was heavenly.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Hanwha Eagles hosted the Samsung Lions in the city of Cheonju.  The Lions crushed their opponent 14-1.  Samsung's starting pitcher was a white man named Rick VandenHurk.  He's from the Netherlands.  Rick used to pitch for the Baltimore Orioles and the Florida Marlins.  But things didn't work out.  He now makes $300,000 a year.  Not bad.

(Rick VandenHurk pitched six scoreless innings.)

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I refuse to babble like a filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to make my wife a better person.  Her choice of language is downright disgraceful.  She often curses shamelessly in public.  I agree with Saint Paul.  Women need to keep silent and obey their husbands.  Perhaps I'm a neanderthal. 

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a strange dream.  James-uh came rushing breathlessly into my room.  He said that the president of Poland was on the phone and needed to speak to me right away.  The situation was urgent.  However, I was very tired.  So I refused to take the call.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Pope Francis is coming to Korea.  He will hold a Mass for the 300 victims of the recent ferry accident.  I'm no wafer-munching Roman Catholic. Nevertheless, Francis rocks.  I love the guy.  He's an adherent of liberation theology and stands staunchly with the poor.  Good for him.

I turned on Fox News.  O'Reilly wants to know why so many people are choosing Hamas over Israel.  The answer is simple.  The globe is filled with anti-Semites.  The Jews have been accused of corrupting the international banking system, controlling Hollywood, inventing pornography, drinking the blood of infants, murdering God, etc.  The list of their crimes against humanity is never ending.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones.  He says that Michelle Obama is a hermaphrodite.  God bless.     

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Tuesday

(Harry Dent used to be a big-shot at Bain Capital.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared fish and rice for dinner.  The meal was utterly disgusting.  In fact, I nearly choked on one of the many bones contained inside the foul-smelling carcass.

Furthermore, the unfortunate creature still had it's head.  He looked at me with his beady little eyes as I feasted on his flesh.  I washed the vittles down with generic cola.  Yet even a refreshing carbonated beverage couldn't erase the sorry taste from my mouth.  Yuck.

I watched an interview between Alex Jones and Harry Dent.  Mr. Dent used to be a big-shot over at Bain Capital.  I appreciate his work a great deal.  He says the DOW peaked at 17,000.  He now predicts a slide back to the 6,000 mark which we saw in 2009.  

I agree completely.  The markets have reached their peak.  However, my question is this.  If there's no inflation, what would prompt the Fed to raise interest rates?  And, if Yellen keeps rates at zero and continues to hand out free money, what's to stop the DOW from climbing to 30,000?  It's all very confusing to an amateur like me.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big deal.  I'm not some dirty atheist.  I thanked Jesus for the rain and promptly asked for more thunder storms in the near future.  Today is bright and sunny.  I'm covered from head to foot with sweat.  I fear that autumn will never arrive.

I went to bed at midnight.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A young Korean man was recently hazed during basic training by his fellow soldiers.  They beat him so hard that he died from his wounds.  The military's launching an investigation.  Murder charges are expected to be filed by the end of the month.

I turned on Fox News.  Bill O'Reilly believes that the world is filled with Jew haters.  I agree wholeheartedly.  I don't even see the controversy over military reprisal in Gaza.  Hamas shot rockets, so Zion retaliated.  Are they just supposed to sit on their asses and get blown to bits by Islamic terrorists?  I'm puzzled by such negative global reaction.  Somebody please enlighten me.  Poor old Smith is an unfortunate retard.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Gerald Celente explaining why Israel has no right to exist.  God bless.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Monday

(The Killing is dark and sombre.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  I need the exercise.  I have a cheeseburger ass.  My youngest child Bluce is only six-years-old.  So I have to survive for the next two decades--which means no cigarettes, no booze, and no fun.  

Church was the same-old same-old.  The praise team sang for over thirty minutes.  That's way too long to remain standing.  My poor tootsies were crying out in pain.  The hymns were followed by a brief sermon.  Finally, we ate the bread and drank the wine.  The end.

I returned with my family to our Soviet-style concrete apartment.  I downloaded a show called The Killing.  It's sombre, dark, and well-written.  A family is slaughtered in their suburban Seattle home.  The murderer even refuses to spare the children.  Local police suspect the eldest son.  I'm only on episode three.  I'll let you know what transpires.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I thanked Jesus for the rain.  The weather's still hot and humid.  But at least it's now somewhat bearable.  Winter's right around the corner.  Soon I'll be bitching about the cold.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a strange dream.  I met a woman who was a public relations manager.  We discussed her job at an empty baseball stadium.  I hired the lady to restore my reputation.  She told me not to worry.  Everything was going to be OK.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Manchester United and Real Madrid played a friendly in Michigan.  110,000 people showed up to watch the match.  The game set a new American attendance record.  Maybe soccer is gaining acceptance in the United States.  Stranger things have happened.

I turned on Fox News.  Judge Jeanine interviewed a priest from Iraq.  Christians in the town of Mosul are currently being brutalized by ISIS thugs.  They've been given four options--convert to Islam, pay a hefty fine, leave the region, or be put to death.  Many are deserting their homes and fleeing to Kurdistan.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing the future financial collapse.  God bless. 

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Saturday

(World famous homosexual Anderson Cooper supports Palestine.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served pork and hash browns for dinner.  The meal was good.  I'm a big fan of starch.  I dipped the meat in A-1 Steak Sauce.  It tasted nice and tangy.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  I'm a huge fan of sugary soft-drinks.  I can't believe that I used to be a booze-hound. Oh well.  Times change.

I watched the Samsung Lions on the tube.  The club traveled to Kwangju and defeated the Kia Tigers 6-4.  The starting pitcher for Samsung was a white man named J.D. Martin.  His salary is $300,000 a year.  Mr. Martin is one of my favorite players because he seems very happy.  Some foreign players are a tad bitter because they never made it in the American big leagues.  But this guy's loving life.  Good for him.


(J.D. Martin pitches for Samsung.)

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus for lots of rain.  The Korean heat is killing me.  Furthermore, electricity costs an arm and a leg here on the peninsula.  So far, my request hasn't been answered.  Not a drop has fallen.  And I'm dripping from head to foot with sweat.  My wife only turns on the air-conditioning at night.

I went to bed at 1 a.m.  I had a dream about visiting Glasgow, Scotland.  I have family there.  They brought me to see a Partick Thistle soccer match.  I flew back to America.  When I landed, I tried to get a drink at the airport bar.  However, the establishment refused to serve me alcohol.  I protested vehemently, and a large security guard threatened to drag me to jail.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A Korean woman killed both her husband and her lover.  She wrapped their bodies in plastic and placed them in the bathtub.  The police discovered the decomposing corpses after the neighbors complained of a foul smell emanating from the residence.  

I turned on CNN.  World famous homosexual Anderson Cooper discussed the situation in Gaza.  He showed a lot of footage featuring injured Palestinian children.  An English aid-worker called the Israelis a bunch of war criminals.  This passionate limey even broke down and cried. I wonder if his heart is heavy over the unfortunate Christian children who've been greased by Muslims in Egypt and Iraq. Probably not. The planet is still filled with emotional Jew haters who forget that Islam is a dangerous enemy.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones discussing the upcoming deflationary holocaust with Harry Dent. God bless.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Friday

(Everett Teaford used to be a Kansas City Royal.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served pork and French-fries for dinner.  The meal was delicious.  The Smith family eats a lot of pig. I'm a broke dead dick, so beef is a little too far out of our price range.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me much happiness.  I was in heaven.

I watched the Samsung Lions on the tube.  They hosted the LG Twins in the city of Daegu.  The starting pitcher for the Twins was a white man named Everett Teaford.  Everett used to play for the Kansas City Royals.  He got spanked hard.  Samsung won the game 8-4.  Mr. Teaford makes $500,000 a year.  Not bad.  I bet he can afford decent toilet paper.  Lucky bastard.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to heal my wife from her lunacy.  She's filled to the brim with Asian stress.  Sadly, she has to accept the fact that her children will never teach physics at MIT.  That type of academic success simply isn't in the cards.  Time to move on.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had another nightmare concerning the housing projects in New Orleans.  I was running through a parking lot, and it looked as if I might actually escape.  However, a group of large black men spotted me just before I could hail a cab. They proceeded to beat me to pulp.  When it comes to dreaming, I'm the king of bad luck.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Bush 43 is writing an autobiography about Bush 41.  The first Bush was a wolf in sheep's clothing.  He had a chance to overturn Roe v. Wade.  Instead, he selected Justice David Souter for the Supreme Court in order to maintain the status quo.  Asshole.

I turned on Fox News.  Bill O'Reilly's still badmouthing Jessie Ventura even though the former governor won his court case.  Bill claims that Jesse's broke and unemployable.  In other words, Ventura's extorting money from Kyle's widow out of sheer financial desperation. O'Reilly's shameless.  He's the journalist who gave the navy sniper a platform to spew his lies without vetting the sources or allowing for rebuttal.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Max Keiser discussing financial Armageddon with Mitch Feierstein.  God Bless.