(Don't waste your time with this turkey.)
Yesterday, I took my family to the movies. We saw The Planet of the Apes. I hated the film. I just don't give a flying screw about animals. Poor old Smith is no liberal tree-hugger. Humans were granted dominion over the animals by God, Himself. So I applauded every time a monkey was greased by a man-made high-powered rifle. The Children of the Rice were not amused by my antics. They said I was embarrassing them. But those boys are soft.
We walked back to our Soviet-style concrete apartment. I yelled at my sons. They were playing with a ball on the sidewalk. However, traffic is crazy here on the peninsula. I was afraid they might get crushed by a car. Koreans are the worst drivers in the universe. If I were King of the World, I'd immediately confiscate their automobiles and give each family a horse and buggy. So let it be written, so let it be done.
We ate barbecue pork for dinner at a local restaurant. It was good. The meat came from the ribs of an unfortunate pig. The meal is called taegi-kalbi. Most foreigners love the kalbi experience. My wife also ordered some type of noxious soup which smelled like ass. It reeked so much so that I nearly vomited. Asian food isn't for pussies.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy misanthrope. I give honor to my creator. Furthermore, I do my best to treat his most prized creation with both love and respect. Sadly, I often fall short. Perhaps I'm a reprobate.
I went to sleep at 10 p.m. I had a strange dream. The Children of the Rice were causing havoc in a restaurant. They refused to listen to their father's instruction. All the customers glared at me angrily--including Ms. Johnson, my former tenth grade English teacher. Back in the day, she was a strict joyless lesbian who constantly yelled at the students. Her favorite hobby? Giving assholes like me detentions. Oh well. It's all water under the bridge.
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A commander in the ROK Navy is in a heap of trouble for sexual harassment. He got steaming drunk and patted a couple of his female subordinates on their asses. They reported him the next morning. The government has decided to prosecute the disgraced officer criminally.
I turned on Fox News. The Israeli Army is launching a ground assault in the Gaza Strip. Pro-Palestinian protests are now occurring around the globe. I stand firm with Israel. Islam will end up being the death of us all. The religion attracts radicals, perverts, and knuckle-draggers who love tyranny and despise democracy. Therefore, I'll never choose a Muslim over a Jew.
Anyway, it's time for the song du jour. Here's Africa by Toto. God bless.