Monday, July 21, 2014

Monday

(Gunnar Nelson is a talented bad-ass.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  I'm a disgusting fat body with a beer belly and a flabby ass.  I need the exercise.  The service was the same-old same-old.  We sang hymns for thirty minutes--which, in my humble opinion, is far too long.  My feet began to hurt.  Then a bald-headed guest pastor told us all to open our hearts to the Lord.  He shared the lyrics of his favorite song to give his sermon gravitas.  Yada, yada.  Doo-dah, doo-dah.

I took my family to Burger King.  I had a Whopper with French fries and onion rings.  I washed it down with a super-sized Coke.  Drinking a non-generic carbonated beverage is a real treat for me.  Usually, I stuck with Homeplus Cola.  But things could be worse.  I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I downloaded the latest UFC event.  I love watching grown men kick the living shit out of each other.  The whole experience is very entertaining.  Gunnar Nelson was on the card.  He completely dismantled another outmatched opponent.  Gunnar and Jon "Bones" Jones are my favorites.  Those boys are a couple of hardcore bad-asses.

I attended a professional K-League soccer match with The Children of the Rice.  We had a good time.  South Korea boasts the best football in Asia.  Furthermore, it's easy to get great tickets because everybody on the peninsula is busy working, studying, or getting drunk.  Consequently, they have no time for sports.  We had front row seats.  In fact, I was afraid of being accidentally beheaded by one of the incoming balls.

We returned to our Soviet-style concrete tenement at 10 p.m.  I paid homage to Christ.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  A man needs a code.  And I believe in Jesus's promise of eternal life.  Of course, that doesn't mean that he won't send me straight to hell.  But God's will is God's will.  So what's a boy to do?

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A six-year-old girl in India got raped at her elementary school.  What's up with these Hindus and their multitude of sexual atrocities?  Are they Godless pagans?

I turned on Fox News.  Governor Huckabee slammed Obama care.  He thinks the president's program will end up destroying America.  My opinion?  I'm one of those filthy communists who believes in socialized medicine.  The cost of insurance is way too high.  I'm tired of getting fleeced by capitalists.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's You Got That Right by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  God bless.

10 comments:

  1. Welcome back, Smith! Keep needling the metal worshipers at ZH!!!

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    1. Thanks, brother. I'll do my best to keep them on their toes.

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  2. I had a patient tonight who wishes she was in Djibouti. Young Muslim woman, schizophrenic, mild level of autism, been a "guest" on that ward many times. She believes that the voices she hears in her head are caused by djinns (the Arabic word for evil spirits, what the English language has turned into "genie). She believes that if she goes back to the family home in Somalia, an imam will rid her of the djinns.

    She can't speak well because of the mental illness, but when you get her talking about how all Christians are going to hell because Allah said so, and how all their hands should be cut off first, she becomes quite animated. We had a nice young Muslim man from India the other week who had cracked under the pressure of studying for his master's in engineering exams and gotten suicidal. He was trying to talk some religious sense into her; telling her that Islam is not a religion of hate. (The Koran doesn't say that other monotheistic people are damned, just that they should have to pay an extra religious tax. Polytheistic pagans such as Hindus, the recommendations are not so nice.) Anyway, this retarded crazy girl would hear none of it. She's absolutely certain anyone who's not a Mohamedan should be sent down below, with their arms in stumps.

    That, to me, sums up religion (and not just Islam.) It's a way that crazy people use to justify their inner hatred. Not you, Mr. Smith, nor the male nurse I worked with tonight, who's an Anglican black guy from Nigeria. Some of you try to live your faith, rather than use it as a basis for condemnation. But I reckon people like you and this Nigerian bloke are in the minority.

    As for the Djibouti girl, the night before last, she attacked a pregnant woman who was visiting a patient on the ward. Tonight, after she took her bedtime meds, she was standing in front of the tall glass windows that lead to the walled-off courtyard where patients can wander for some fresh air. She was dancing and laughing -- "responding to internal stimuli" as the $5 medical phrase for "hearing voices" goes. Then she started pulling up the African muu-muu style dress she wears, exposing her chest. Her care plan says this is a behaviour she engages in before she wigs out. I went over and pulled it down, but she wheeled past me and raced over to pull the hair of a 40-something Greek woman who's in for a worsening of her bipolar disorder. I was right behind, and pulled Djibouti baby off within one second of contact, then dragged her to her room. When I asked her why she had attacked the woman, she said it was because she heard the voices say, in the Greek woman's voice, "You're fat. You'll never have a boyfriend." (Which is true, only not that the Greek woman said that. She's rather nice, at least to me. I pity her long-suffering husband...)

    Anyway, such is a night on the psycho ward -- breaking up hair-pulling catfights started by maniacal Muslim chicks. They won't be the death of us all, though, Mr. Smith. They'll mainly be the death of themselves...

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    1. One of these days, those nut-jobs will get their hands on smallpox or anthrax. And they'll have no qualms about using it. Muslims are dangerous people. Religion of peace my ass.

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  3. You've got the factors wrong on the who fleeces who Obamacare equation but your heart is in the right place. Healthcare is big business and covering 40-50 million more lives and lining the pockets of Stephen J. Hemsley at the same time will cost a lot of gainfully employed taxpayer dollas!

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    1. In the future, I plan on becoming a "welfare witch". So I want my food stamps and free health care. And why not? The richest Americans dismantled the entire middle class economy. I feel no guilt about eating the government cheese. Peace.

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  4. Be careful who your master is, Smith. And my insurance premiums have DOUBLED since I have been blessed with Obamacare. Harrump. best, Jay

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    1. Canada can afford it. Germany can afford it. England can afford it. France can afford it. Yet the richest nation in the history of the world is flat broke. I don't buy the bullshit.

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    2. Australia can afford it too, and they're slack-arses down here. Murca could afford it, but it spends the money on the military, which brings death to other people, instead of Medicare for everyone, which would bring more life to it's OWN people. Although you're probably aware that America gives shit-tonnes of $$$ to the "sick care system" (as "Of Two Minds" blogger Charles Hugh Smith terms it). Only, a lot of that money goes to rapacious insurance companies, Big Pharma, gold-plated doctors, hospital execs, etc. Down here, there's a good living to be made from the medical trade, but not a massive bonanza. Mining and gambling, that's where the billionaires are.

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    3. It's a big bullshit story. We should have had nationalized healthcare years ago. In fact, that's the platform Bill Clinton ran on.

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Thanks for stopping by. Smith.