Saturday, May 17, 2014

Saturday

(Time for Eric Shinseke to go.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made beef and French fries for dinner.  The meal wasn't her best effort.  In fact, it sucked giant ass.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles like a trooper.  I'm wonderful that way.  The glass is always half-full in poor old Smith's humble abode.

A couple of weeks ago, my eldest son James-uh took a standardized test which compares him academically to children around the world in English speaking countries.  He scored high mastery in both math and science. 

I don't understand the results.  That kid's always failing his algebra exams.  I'm crediting his impressive scholastic achievement to a computer glitch.  My boy's no genius.  Somebody must have screwed something up.  Plain and simple.

I downloaded the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory.  Leonard and Penny are about to get married.  However, the potential change in future living arrangements drives Sheldon over the edge.  He's now riding the rails like a misguided hobo.  Jim Parsons is my favorite homosexual in the entire universe.  Whenever I look at him, I piss my pants laughing.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  After all, I'm not some filthy atheist.  I thanked Jesus for blessing me with surprisingly good health.  I've never had a major medical issue in my entire life.  Knock on wood.

I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Aaron Hernandez used to play tight end for the New England Patriots.  Now he's in jail awaiting trial for multiple homicides.  Those who live by the sword die by the sword.  Amen.

I turned on Fox News.  General Eric Shinseke is currently in deep shit for the mess he helped create at the Veteran's Administration. American soldiers are dying while waiting for medical treatment.  Shinseke should lose his job.  Heck, why not put him in prison?  Men have been incarcerated for far less.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's The La La Song by Zebra.  God bless. 

Friday, May 16, 2014

Friday

(The new Rosemary is black.)

Yesterday, the dragon lady made pork and French fries for dinner.  The meal was delicious.  I love devouring pig flesh.  I dipped the meat in steak sauce.  It tasted nice and tangy.  I washed my vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Poor old Smith has no money.  I can only afford the off-brands.  My life is a tragic tale of woe.

I downloaded the remake of Rosemary's Baby.  It stars a black female in the title role.  She's very attractive.  The sight of her prancing around in her tight flowery panties filled me with joy.  I've always been attracted to dark woman.  I'm not sure if my taste in the ladies makes me a racist.  I hope not.  But what's a boy to do?

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  It's not like I'm some filthy nihilist. I asked Jesus to give me a million dollars and a brand new car.  My request went unheeded.  Oh well.  At least I have my health.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another nightmare about fishing.  I was in the Gulf of Mexico with my dead father.  We were on his boat.  We failed to catch anything.  We never caught anything when he was alive, either.  Dad kept using the word motherfucker over and over again.  The dream was very realistic.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Recently, three hundred students drowned when a ferry sank while sailing toward Jeju Island.  The captain is now being charged with murder.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed the controversy surrounding the Veteran's Administration.  Many returning soldiers are waiting far too long for vital medical care.  In fact, forty have died from their maladies before even seeing a doctor.  What a disgrace.  Heads should roll.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley.  God bless.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Thursday

(Hillary Clinton is a real pig.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to Emart.  She brought a pizza back to our humble abode.  It came in a large cardboard box.  I'm a big fan of junk food.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  My cholesterol's probably through the roof.  But I don't care.  I might as well die happy.

I downloaded season two of The Following.  Ryan kills several of Joe's new followers.  His favorite method of execution is with a knife.  He guts both males and females alike.  Ryan's an equal opportunity vigilante.  There's a true bitterness between the two men.  They despise each other with a passion.  Their animosity lends spice to the program.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.  I asked Jesus to let me live another twenty years.  Then he's free to zap poor old Smith with ass cancer.  I want to give my kids a good start in life. 

I went to bed 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream about owning a bar in Cambodia.  The American government thought I was a sexual criminal.  They sent a man to investigate me.  I kept proclaiming my innocence.  Yet he wouldn't believe me.  The nightmare was definitely Kafka-esque.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Children in China are feeling the pressure of exams.  Many are jumping out of windows to escape the rat-race.  Suicide is a huge problem in Asia.  These people are always killing themselves.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed Karl Rove.  Democrats are angry because Rove is implying that Hillary Clinton might have brain damage.  I'm not a big fan of the Clinton's.  Their policies laid the groundwork for America's current economic malaise.  I fear my country shall never regain her glory.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Dancing Queen by Abba.  God bless.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Wednesday

(Salem is creepy.)
 
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady worked late.  So I cooked dinner for me and the kids.  I prepared pork and French fries.  The Smith family consumes a great deal of pig.  We'd never make it as Muslims.  I washed my vittles down with several glasses of cola.  We no longer drink actual Coke.  We're currently saving our pennies and going strictly generic.

My eldest son James-uh pissed me off yet again.  Thirteen is a terrible age.  He started dancing on the coffee table while waving his plastic light sabre to and fro.  I asked him to stop.  But he didn't listen.  He ended up destroying one of Bluce's Lego toys.  Bluce cried and cried and cried.  Sometimes, I wish a giant meteor would strike Earth.  I could use the rest.

I downloaded the latest episode of Salem.  The show is very entertaining.  An exorcism is performed on one of the girls.  Her father cuts her open with a knife and a large black snake slides out of her belly.  The leader of the witches is named Sybil.  She's married to a Puritan and tortures him daily.  Good stuff.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  It's not like I'm some filthy atheist. I asked Jesus for the gift of patience.  My kids are driving me up the wall.  But I guess that comes with fatherhood.  At least we're physically healthy.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another strange nightmare about human excrement.  I walked into my Soviet-style concrete tenement and found a steaming pile of shit lying on the living room floor. I blamed the mess on our rowdy neighbors.  My wife, however, refused to believe me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Manchester City finished on top of the English Premiere League.  The squad is owned by rich Arabs.  I'm deeply disappointed.  I was pulling for Liverpool.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed American universities.  They believe that many institutions of higher learning have been taken over by communists.  I'm inclined to agree.  The problem with extreme liberalism is that one must follow the party line or be branded a bigoted idiot.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's I Am a Highway by Audioslave.  God bless.    

Monday, May 12, 2014

Monday

(From Dusk Till Dawn is a new series from Netflix.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  No big deal.  I try to exercise at least once a week.  I'm getting flabby.  Poor old Smith is married to an Asian shrew.  So I don't really fear death.

Nevertheless, I need to make it another twenty years for the sake of the children.  After that, I'll probably expire from a painful case of ass cancer.  The disease runs in my family.  And good riddance.  I could certainly use the rest.

Church was pretty much the same old dog and pony show.  We sang for thirty minutes while clapping our hands.  Meanwhile, one of the crazy Nigerians who attends the weekly service howled like a banshee and started speaking in tongues.  Say what you want.  But that African always keeps me entertained.

Then we had a special treat.  A former reprobate shared his testimony.  This gentleman used to smuggle hard drugs into various countries.  He also had coitus with over seventy women.  The guy's a stud. 

His most egregious felonies, however, were the acts of violence he committed against numerous law-abiding citizens.  He was a real predatory head-cracker.  But luckily he found Jesus and turned his life around.  These days, he's a pussy cat.  Good for him.  Christ's blood is both healing and transformational.

I took the family to McDonald's.  I enjoyed a Big Mac and two large orders of French fries.  The salt, sugar, and starch sent me straight to heaven.  I love junk food.  I washed my vittles down with a large glass of Coke.  Carbonated beverages fill me with joy.

I downloaded From Dusk Till Dawn.  It's a Netflix original series.  The show is very entertaining.  The protagonists are bank robbers on their way to Mexico.  They have plans to retire in a mythical Mexican town called El Ray. 

The concept of El Ray is actually taken from a Jim Thompson novel.  Trust me.  You wouldn't want to end your days there.  The show stars Robert Patrick.  He was great in The Terminator.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A woman in the Ukraine claims she had sex with a ghost.  She went on to say that the experience was quite pleasant.

I turned on Fox News.  Benghazi continues to garner headlines.  Congress is setting up a special committee to look into the matter further.  We need to leave the towel-heads alone.  Too many Americans have spilled too much blood for these loons already.  Let's cut our losses.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden.  God bless.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Saturday

(Crazy Muslims will be the death of us all.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to Emart and bought a pizza.  The meal came in a large cardboard box.  I greedily devoured several pieces.  One must eat fast in my humble abode.  I live with two hungry boys.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of Coke.  I'm just crazy for carbonated beverages.

I viewed several episodes of The Following.  Joe isn't dead.  His new residence is a dilapidated whorehouse located in rural Arkansas.  Ryan knows that he's alive.  A creepy art dealer also knows the famous serial killer is still breathing.  But the feds remain clueless.  In fact, the FBI believes that Joe is roasting in hell with the other reprobates.  Kevin Bacon's the star of the program.  He's older than me by several years.  Yet he looks fantastic.  Go figure.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I refuse to live my life as if I were a filthy misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to make me handsome like Kevin Bacon.  My prayer went unheeded.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a nightmare about eating Chinese food in an American shopping mall.  I kept running into former friends who were angry at me for various reasons.  I couldn't escape their unhappy presence.  I might stop recording my dreams.  I need a break from the multitude of demons swimming around in my feverish brain.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A young man in China killed his entire family with a knife.  He was trying to steal their money so that he could play video games.  They caught him red-handed and carnage ensued.  Two of the victims were mere toddlers.

I turned on Fox News.  The world is still in shock over the kidnapped Nigerian girls.  The crazy Muslims are now threatening to sell them into slavery.  I'm not surprised.  Islam's a religion attractive to knuckle-draggers and retarded murderers.  Mark my words.  These towel-headed misfits will end up killing us all.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Long Train Running by the Doobie Brothers.  God bless.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Friday

(Supernatural is the dumbest show on television.  But I'm a fan.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady had to work late.  So I cooked the evening meal for me and the kids.  We had spicy pork and white rice.  The food was delicious.  I'm quite an accomplished chef.  Poor old Smith is rapidly becoming a hairy, foul-smelling Martha Stewart.  Good for me.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Coke.  Carbonated beverages fill me with joy.

James-uh managed to piss me off royally.  Once again, his grades are a bitter disappointment.  He scored a 15 percent on a Korean vocabulary quiz.  He studied for an entire ten minutes.  I thought I was going to rip his head off.  I'm not huge into academic success.  But handing your parents a grade that low is nothing more than an act of passive aggression.  There are literally children with Downs Syndrome who could do better than that.  James-uh is urinating on my head.  Plain and simple.

I watched Supernatural.  Season nine opens with Sam on the verge of death.  Dean has to call in the aid of his angel friends in order to save his brother's life.  Supernatural is one of the dumbest shows ever created.  Nevertheless, I love it.  There's a lot of chemistry between the two lead actors.  Plus they have a knack for comedy.  Tonight I shall try a new series called From Dusk Till Dawn.  A friend of mine recommended it.  I'll give you all a report as soon as possible.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  It's not like I'm some dirty nihilist.  I begged Jesus for patience.  My family's slowly killing me.  I fear I shall soon have a stroke.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while taking a bathroom break.  There was an interesting article about the Korean cheating culture.  Lots of people here on the ROK will do anything to get accepted into an American college.  Consequently, they pay big money to get answers to the SAT.  I wish James-uh possessed that type of gumption.  My son's far too lazy to be dishonest.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five talked about the kidnappings in Nigeria.  A group of violent Islamic radicals absconded with 300 teenage high school girls.  The victims are somewhere in the African jungle. Muslims are nuts.  I've been saying that since I started blogging.  These loons will be the death of us all.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Echoes by Pink Floyd.  God bless.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Thursday

(Bill Clinton is a bastard.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made pork and French fries for dinner. The meal was marvelous.  The Smith family eats a lot of pig.  We'd never survive as Jews.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Coke.  Carbonated beverages give me joy.

I discussed future plans with my wife.  In three years or so, I'd like to move to Yanbian, China.  The kids could learn Mandarin.  But the whole dream is unrealistic.  I'm not even sure if the Chinese government would allow me to open a small business.  The entire affair would probably devolve into a red-tape fiasco.  Nevertheless, I shall die soon.  So I'd like to have one more adventure before I kick the bucket. 

I downloaded the latest episode of Fargo.  Billy Bob Thornton plays a glib assassin who is currently blackmailing a millionaire.  He's driving the poor guy crazy by imitating the ten plagues of Egypt.  Billy used to be married to Angelina Jolie.  He wore her blood around his neck.  Later, the couple split.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.  I asked Jesus to send my fat ass to China.  I need one last fling before heading to the great beyond.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange nightmare about cutting beef into tiny little strips and placing them on a barbecue grill.  Try to figure that one out.  My demons have demons.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Vatican released some of its records involving the abuse of minors.  Nearly nine hundred priests were defrocked and thousands more were disciplined for their perverted behavior.  I get a marvelous feeling about the new pope.  He cherishes the sunlight.

I turned on Fox News.  Monica Lewinsky wrote an article for Vanity Fair magazine discussing her tryst with President Clinton.  I always felt sorry for her.  That girl was put through the ringer.  Talk about the abuse of authority.  Bill should be castrated.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's My Own Prison by Creed.  God bless.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Wednesday

(Rob Ford: At least he never tortured anybody.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made beef and French fries for dinner.  The food sucked giant ass.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my meal.  I'm wonderful that way.  I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Coke.  Carbonated beverages can even turn shit to gold.

I downloaded season 4 of Shameless.  I viewed every single episode.  The series gave me a quesy feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Most of the characters have no moral compass whatsoever.  Nevertheless, I'm an avid fan. 

It's like watching a car accident.  You want to turn away, but your eyes remain glued to the carnage.  For instance, Frank finally gets a new liver.  So what's the first thing he does after the operation?  He drinks whiskey.  Meanwhile, Fiona's serving time for nearly killing a toddler with her misplaced cocaine.  You get the idea.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  After all, I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to make my wife into a better person.  The woman is a first-rate shrew.  Her constant complaining drives me nuts.  She bitches when she wakes up.  And she bitches when she goes to bed.  Poor old Smith needs a little peace in his tumultuous life.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a nightmare about driving to a deserted shopping mall.  The bookstore was completely empty.  I stole several bestsellers.  Nobody caught me. 

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the newspaper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Rob Ford, the beleaguered mayor of Toronto, is going to rehab to treat his addiction. I can't judge the man.  I loved getting shit-faced.  Sadly, I'm no stranger to the art of blacking out.  Alcohol is a powerful drug.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five were complaining about Rutgers University.  It seems the school canceled a commencement speech by Condoleeza Rice.  Why?  Some of the students accused her of being a war criminal.  Good for them.  Torturers need to be ostracized.  The Bush administration was an utter disgrace.  Ms. Rice should be deeply ashamed of herself.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Mr. Soul by Neil Young.  Enjoy.   

Monday, May 5, 2014

Monday

(I thought Floyd Mayweather got his ass kicked.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  But I'm not complaining. I'm a disgusting fat-body with a beer-belly and a sagging ass.  I need the exercise.  It's also nice to get away from the wife and kids for an hour or so.  The problem with walking in Korea is the traffic.  These people are maniacs.  If I were king, I'd confiscate their automobiles and give them horses.

The sermon bored me to tears.  First, the praise team went overboard yet again.  Must we sing for thirty freaking minutes every Sunday?  After all, it's not a Deep Purple concert.  To make matters worse, the guest speaker came across as a patronizing oaf.  He reminded me of a first grade teacher.  But don't blame the pastor.  It's my fault completely.  Poor old Smith is an unfortunate reprobate heading for hell.  With that said, why can't a service be somewhat entertaining?  Is a little bit of fun against God's will?

We went to McDonald's.  I devoured a Big Mac and two large orders of French fries.  I washed the vittles down with a gallon of Coke.  I love junk food.  The sugar, salt, and starch give me a great high.  I'll be dead soon.  Yet I'm not worried.  I just got to make it another twenty years.  I can do that standing on my head.

I downloaded the Floyd Mayweather match.  He won by majority decision.  I'm no expert.  But I thought Floyd lost the bout.  I had Marcos Maidana winning seven rounds.  He was much busier than his over-hyped lethargic opponent.  Plus he landed the heavier shots.  However, nobody listens to me.  I'm merely a voice in the wilderness.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.  I asked Jesus to take away my bitterness toward my fellow human beings.  Sometimes, I look at people and want to puke.  That's not good.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I forgot to record my dreams.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Peaches Geldoff died of a heroin overdose.  She was twenty-five-years-old.  The model/writer left behind two young children.

I turned on Fox News.  Naughty Vladimir Putin is still causing havoc in the Ukraine.  The problem has no resolution.  Too many German fat-cats are making tons of money dealing in Russian natural gas.  Therefore, meaningful sanctions are off the table.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's South Side by Moby. God bless.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Saturday

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(Salem is another winner for American television.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made pork and French fries for dinner. The meal was good.  I'm a big fan of starch.  And why not?  Potatoes are quite delicious and filling.  I smothered the fries in steak sauce.  They tasted nice and tangy.  I washed my vittles down with several large glasses of Coke.  The Smith family spends a ton of money on carbonated beverages.

I fell into a minor funk.  All my user accounts at ZeroHedge have been murdered by the moderators.  Tragically, Mister Kitty and The Dunce are the latest victims.  Both were recently slain by one of the Tylers.  What a bunch of bastards.  Mark my words.  I shall have my vengeance in this life or the next.  Those brutal abusive pagans haven't seen the last of me.

I downloaded a show called Salem.  I thought it was going to be garbage.  I was wrong.  Salem is actually extremely entertaining.  The witches are real.  Their magic is scary.  And all the main characters are nicely developed.  American television is experiencing a wonderful renaissance.  In fact, movies no longer interest me.  The vast majority of the creative talent has shifted to the small screen.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty atheist.  I asked Jesus to strengthen my marriage.  My wife and I fight over stupid crap like James-uh's grades.  Life's too short for such mindless bullshit.

I went to bed at one a.m.  However, I forgot to record my dreams.  I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The American economy added nearly 300,000 jobs.  Talk about glad tidings.  Sadly, most of the gigs pay next to nothing.  Flipping burgers, working retail, etc. But the majority of manufacturing has been shipped to Asia, so I'm not surprised.

I turned on Fox News.  O'Reilly is on vacation.  His replacement for today's show was Laura Ingraham.  She talked about Libya and the death of ambassador Chris Stevens.  Laura thinks Obama is involved in some type of cover-up.  He probably is.  The greatest thing about having power is that you can always pin the blame on a mindless sycophant. 

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Astronomy by Metallica.  God bless.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Friday

(Bob Hoskins is dead.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady worked late.  So I prepared pork and French fries for me and the kids.  The meal was delicious.  I'm quite proficient at cooking.  Poor old Smith is a real Betty Crocker.  I even own an apron and possess a dazzling smile.  I'm just a hairy foul-smelling June Cleaver.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of Coke.  Sugary soft-drinks make my heart sing with joy.

The discipline committee at James-uh's school might give him a detention.  They haven't decided yet.  But I'm no longer too concerned with Twizzler-gate.  I talked with one of his teachers.  He said a bunch of boys were in on the carnage.  Compared to the others, my kid's an angel.  Nevertheless, I set high behavioral standards.  Next time he screws around, I'll break his fingers.  We've got enough candy at home.  He doesn't need to steal it.

I downloaded the latest episode of Fargo.  I enjoy the series a lot.  Billy Bob Thornton plays a sadistic hit man.  In this episode, he kills a dog with a nasty-looking knife in order to break into a rich man's home.  He doesn't murder the man.  Instead, he replaces his real medicine with speed.  By the end of the show, the poor guy is bouncing off the walls.  Fargo has a devilish sense of humor.  It's very dark--if you're into that kind of thing.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  After all, I'm not some filthy atheist.  I begged Jesus to slap some sense into my idiot son.  That kid needs an attitude adjustment.  He takes nothing seriously.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another dream about fishing.  I was alone on a pristine sandy beach with a pole in my hand.  I'm not sure if I caught anything.  I used to be an avid fisherman back in the day.  The hobby was a great excuse to consume lots of beer and throw the crumpled cans at unfortunate alligators.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Bob Hoskins died of pneumonia.  He was 71-years-old.  Hoskins was truly a great actor.  His performance in The Long Good Friday is one of the best that the 20th century has to offer.  It was nothing less than dazzling. The phrase tour de force pops to mind.

I turned on Fox News.  That little moron Greg Gutfeld believes the United States isn't active enough in international affairs.  He won't be happy until we stick our beak into every corner and crevice of the entire globe.  It's always the biggest pussies who enjoy violent conflict the most.  After all, what does Gutfeld have to lose?  He's just another sissy from Manhattan getting drunk on Martinis. It's not as if he's ever fired a gun at another human being.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Man of Constant Sorrow by Union Station.  God bless.  

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Thursday

(The filthy idolaters at ZeroHedge often wish me dead.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served spicy pork and white rice for dinner.  The meal was good.  In fact, the meat was so hot that it literally burned my lips.  I enjoyed the pain.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Coke.  Sugar is my drug of choice.  That sweet white powder makes my heart sing like a bird.

James-uh and his friends got into trouble at school.  They took an entire bag of Twizzlers from one of their fellow students and consumed all the candy.  Yes.  No need to tell me.  My eldest son is now a dirty thief along with being a complete bird-brain.  Some days, I just want to cry.  I held him against the wall of our concrete Soviet-style apartment and threatened to punch him on the nose.  Later, I gave him some money to replace the pilfered liquorice.

I watched another episode of The Following.  Ryan's learning that Joe's network is very extensive.  Joe's a terrible writer.  Even worse than me.  Yet he's surrounded by sycophants who will gladly spill blood at his behest.  Poor old Smith, on the other hand, is reviled by the idolaters at ZeroHedge.  Many wish him dead.  Go figure.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  It's not like I'm some filthy atheist.  I begged Jesus to keep my wayward boy out of prison.  Larceny starts with Twizzlers.  But it seldom stops there.  Next, he'll be boosting BMWs.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a nightmare concerning my favorite bar in America.  I ordered a Long Island Ice Tea.  However, I didn't have any Yankee dollars to pay the girl, and the establishment wouldn't accept Korean won.  So the manager threw me out.  My dreams always suck giant ass.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A popular website on the peninsula is demanding the resignation of President Park due to the ferry accident which claimed three hundred lives.  I'm a dirty foreign devil.  Therefore, I stay as far away as possible from Korean politics.

I turned on Fox News.  The state of Oklahoma royally botched an execution.  It took the inmate nearly an hour to die.  He eventually expired from the effects of a heart attack.  The Five didn't seem to mind.  They believe in an eye for an eye.  I'm against the death penalty.  I'm also against abortion.  I'm probably just a giant pussy.

Anyway, it's time for the song of the day.  Here's Keeping Up With the Jonesin by Jamey Johnson.  God bless.