Monday, March 31, 2014

Monday

(I bought the kids a dog.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  Trust me.  I need the exercise.  I'm a disgusting fat body.  The service was quite good. We focused on Matthew 6.  The only thing I dislike about the Sunday sermons is the music.  We sing and sing and sing. Sometimes, I feel like I'm at a Deep Purple concert.

I took my family to the cinema. Let me tell you people something. Captain America is absolutely fantastic. The basic premise is that the average Joe Meatball has traded his liberty for security.  The script is tight and crisp.  The acting is marvelous. And Robert Redford makes a great super-villain.  His performance is definitely Oscar-worthy. If you decide to view the film, make sure you stay past the credits. There's a terrific preview concerning the next installment.

We went to an all-you-can-eat pork buffet.  The meal was delicious. My boys have huge appetites. As a father, it's nice to sit back and watch them stuff their faces with food.  No big surprise. They're my legacy and carry my name.

The Children of the Rice asked me for a poodle. But the Dragon Lady used to eat dogs back in the day.  Her family would serve them in a soup.  I told the kids that their mother has no love for the canine species.  According to my wife, man's best friend is about as charming as a chicken.  Therefore, it would behoove our clan to stick to gold fish.

However, my boys refused to be dissuaded.  So poor old smith finally caved.  I spent six hundred dollars on a new pet.  We've named the beast Sarah.  She's quite small and whimpers in her sleep.  I really need my head examined.  Dogs suck giant ass.  I hated cleaning their shit and piss even as a kid.  I deserve some type of award for being a marvelous father.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Dope Show by Marilyn Manson.  God bless.          

16 comments:

  1. haha, we have about 100 pounds of dog meat here. I ate a lab when I was about 18, wasn't very good. Bing says only drunkards eat dog, guess she's right cause I was drunk. No love lost between her and the dogs, that's for sure. She hates having them come in the house (I let them sleep next to the wood stove when it cold out). best, Jay

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    1. I've eaten dog a couple of times. The meat was cooked in a soup. Tasted horrible. Peace.

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  2. "The acting is marvelous. And Robert Redford makes a great super-villain. His performance is definitely Oscar-worthy."

    Robert Redford is not performing. He is a villain in real life. If he played a good guy convincingly that would be a stretch.

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    1. Go ahead and check out the movie. You'll love it.

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  3. We all want to see a family picture with the dog :)

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    1. My family and I have faces perfect for radio.

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  4. Dogs are on this planet to teach the human species what unconditional love is all about. Humans are a brutish and unloving species, and the Koreas are at the top of the list. My God, they beat dogs to death before eating them.

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    1. You'll get no argument from me. This peninsula is filled to the brim with Godless pagans..

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  5. That dog looks cute. Good job!

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    1. Not really. Getting a puppy was a huge mistake. But you're right about one thing. The dog IS cute.

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  6. do they have shock collars in Korea? It occurred to me, I had to get a shock collar for my lacy, as he would not stop barking, 24/7. Now the batteries are dead, but he hasn't figured it out. he only barks occasionally. best, Jay

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    1. We've got our beast trapped in a cage. She won't let it out for the next three weeks. We just aren't dog people. We're better with fish.

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  7. hey it occurs to me, Bob Dylan (Roger Zimmerman) wrote a song about your dog...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLXdHfZJalM
    best Jay

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  8. I went to see Captain America on the strength of your recommendation, (together with a little additional encouragement from my boy of course!).
    Not a bad effort for a Hollywood flick.
    TG

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    1. I not normally a super-hero kind of guy. But Captain America rocks.

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Thanks for stopping by. Smith.