Saturday, September 20, 2014

Taking a Break

 (Ever had one of those days.)

I've decided to take a break from writing.

Don't forget to visit my message board.

God bless.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Friday

(Nurse Jackie is turning me into a fag.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared chicken sandwiches for dinner.  The meat was served on a slab of freshly baked French bread.  Talk about delicious.  My wife really has a lot of talent.  She's the Asian Martha Stewart.  I washed the vittles down with a glass of generic cola.  The experience was heavenly.

I completed season one of Nurse Jackie.  Zoey is reprimanded for nearly killing a famous movie critic.  Her homosexual colleagues immediately try to cheer her up with pizza and ice cream.  The scene was touching. 

Perhaps I'm half-a-fag.  But Nurse Jackie tugs at my heart strings.  Don't get me wrong.  I haven't cried in over thirty-five years.  And I certainly don't plan to start weeping in the near future.  I'm far too manly to break down like a woman.  I'll just have to do my best to emotionally keep it together while viewing chick flicks.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big deal.  I'm not some dirty misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to look after my health.  My heart is pumping bacon grease, and my brain's on the verge of a massive stroke.  Yet, like the noble salmon, I must continue to swim upstream.  Wish me luck.  I'll need it.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  Bluce and I were trying to cross a dangerous highway.  I held on tightly to his little hand.  We made it to the other side completely unscathed.  This sensation of victory doesn't happen often in my life.  I'm much too nervous to feel like a winner.

I drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Many Korean women are waiting past the age of thirty to have babies.  In fact, the ROK has the lowest birth rate in the entire world.  People are just too afraid to have sex. I attribute this timidity to a lack of faith.  The citizens feel apprehensive about the expense of raising rug-rats.

I turned on Fox News.  The Minnesota Vikings have reversed their earlier decision.  Adrian Peterson is now off the team until further notice.  He's not even allowed to speak with his fellow players.  There's no excuse for beating a four-year-old child.  Teenagers can drive a parent to drink.  But the little ones remain a joy.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones discussing the evil globalists.

God bless.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Thursday

(Sons of Anarchy is one of my favorites.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made beef and rice for dinner.  The meal wasn't her best effort.  I'm not too crazy about rice.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my food like a happy retarded child.  I'm wonderful that way.  The glass is always half-full in Smith's humble abode.  I washed the vittles down with a bottle of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.

I downloaded Sons of Anarchy.  Gemma pins Tara's death on the Chinese.  So Jax spends the first episode torturing and murdering an innocent man.  Marilyn Manson plays an imprisoned member of the Aryan Brotherhood.  The rock star has really aged.  He's also put on a few pounds.  But I can't deny his talent.  Mr. Manson possesses a powerful, distinctive voice.  Dope Show is one the best heavy metal tunes in the history of the genre.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to give me patience.  My wife and son fight like cats and dogs on a daily basis.  Their constant friction is driving me bat-shit crazy.  I've never laid my hands on a female.  Yet I understand Ray Rice.  Peace is a wonderful thing.  

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Korean males are forced to join the military for a period of eighteen months.  Service is obligatory.  A young ROK Marine accidentally blew his hand off with a grenade.  He was later pronounced dead at a local hospital.  

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed ISIS.  They claim that Obama isn't taking the threat of militant Islam seriously enough.  I agree.  But let's be honest.  The world was a safer place when Saddam was alive and in power.  Bush and his buddies started a never ending civil war between the Shi'a and the Sunnis.  And make no mistake.  These rag-heads are crazy.  They'll end up killing us all.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil caps.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing the Fed on CNBC.

God bless.   

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Tuesday

(The Saints are 0-2.  But I still have faith.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made barbecue ribs for dinner.  The meal was good.  My family eats a lot of pork.  Unfortunately, beef's a little out of our price range.  But that's OK.  Things could be much worse.  I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.  I washed the meal down with a large glass of generic cola.  The experience was heavenly.

I downloaded the Saints game.  They lost by less than a field goal.  Their defense looked quite porous to say the least.  The lowly Cleveland Browns lit them up as if they were a pinball machine.  However, poor old Smith still has faith.  Drew Brees is a talented man.  He'll get the team back into the playoffs.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus for the strength to love my neighbors.  Sometimes, I'm a mean-spirited asshole.  Who isn't?  Yet bitterness and hate are emotional diseases which can literally give you a heart attack.  Exorcising these wrathful demons is essential for a healthy life.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Korea will not send troops to the Middle East to fight ISIS.  The ROK's afraid of angering the Islamic horde.  However, the government will offer humanitarian support to the victims of Muslim rage.  So Uncle Sam in on his own once again.

I turned on Fox News.  The Minnesota Vikings have decided to reinstate running back Adrian Peterson.  He'll play next week against the New Orleans Saints.  This decision is beyond all comprehension.  Mr. Peterson beat a four-year-old child with a tree branch, leaving deep physical scars.  I'm truly at a loss for words.

Anyway, let's turn to happier thoughts.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing the upcoming financial holocaust.

God bless.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Monday

(Adrian Peterson should be banned from the league.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served kalbi-tong for dinner.  Translation?  Beef soup with clear noodles and rice.  The meal was pretty good.  I never fail to clean my plate.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me great happiness.

I viewed the Floyd Mayweather match.  The bout was a real piece of crap.  Mayweather has never impressed me as a fighter.  He constantly runs around the ring like a little bitch.  Plus the judges are always in his pocket.  His opponent wasn't given a proper chance to show his talent.  Floyd kept holding him, and the ref was too chickenshit to deduct a point from the champion.  I'm fed up.  I'll never watch boxing again.  The whole sport is rigged.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  Yet don't confuse me for a hardcore fundamentalist.  I recently heard a sermon concerning the pains of hell.  Supposedly, there's a lake of fire which smells of sulphur.  The damned burn while demons poke them in the ass with red-hot pitchforks.  Yada, yada, yada. 

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the abyss.  The fate of my soul is in The Maker's hands, and He's going to do what He's going to do.  God doesn't strike me as an unreasonable fascist, so why worry?

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  One out of every eight Koreans suffers from major depression.  This figure doesn't surprise me.  The ROK is near the top of the list when it comes to suicide.  Korea has very strict gun laws.  Therefore, the preferred method of self-immolation is by jumping off buildings.  I shit you not.

I turned on Fox News.  Another NFL football player might be drummed out of the league.  The state of Texas has just charged Adrian Peterson with child abuse for hitting his four-year-old son with a tree branch.  This story sickens me.  Adrian's other boy was murdered less than a year ago.  The cause?  The unfortunate child was beaten to death by a drug-addled knuckle-dragger.

Anyway, let's don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Greg Hunter discussing the economic collapse of America.

God bless. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sunday

(David Haines murdered by Islamic knuckle-draggers.)

Yesterday, I took the family to dinner.  We had taegi-kalbi. Translation?  Barbecue pork ribs.  The meal was very good.  Kalbi's a favorite amongst the foreign population.  It's not nearly as ethnic as some of the other dishes.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of genuine Coca-Cola.  I don't miss alcohol.  But I often Jones for a cigarette.  Tobacco's a terrible monkey on my back.

I watched two episodes of Nurse Jackie.  When I was a child, my dad caught me weeping.  He told me that real men don't cry.  We use vulgar language instead.  I haven't shed a tear in over thirty-five years.  But I've said the word fuck about a million times.  Yet Nurse Jackie tugs at my heart strings.  The show contains many poignant moments.  I get emotional.  Give it a try.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big deal.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to grant me good health.  I often worry that I'll drop dead too early.  I need to survive for another twenty years so that my kids get a good start in life.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is walking with a limp.  He's also gained a ton of weight.  Many now wonder about his health.  Jong-un is the spitting image of his grandfather.  Their physical similarity is quite eerie.

I turned on Fox News.  ISIS beheaded another westerner.  Their new victim was a British aid worker named David Haines.  I've said it a million times.  But I'll repeat myself anyway.  The world was better off with Saddam and Qaddafi.  They kept the savages in line.  Nevertheless, an Islamic caliphate in the Middle East cannot be tolerated.  ISIS represents a true existential threat to the civilized word and must be mercilessly exterminated.

The time has come to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Gerald Celente discussing American propaganda.

God bless.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday

(Andy Rooney is dead.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared toc-torry-tong for dinner.  Translation?  Spicy chicken soup with potatoes.  The meal was good.  Yet be careful.  If you order this dish in a restaurant, it might very well burn a hole in your mouth.  Even my lips were on fire.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola.  Cabonated beverages bring me joy.

I viewed baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions hosted the Kia Tigers in the city of Daegu.  Samsung won 5-4.  The game was quite exciting.  The team drove in the winning run during the bottom of the ninth inning.  But the Lions have been slumping.  Nexen's about to knock them off their perch.  The playoffs should be a lot of fun to watch.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty atheist.  I asked Jesus to relieve my stress.  I worry too much.  I wish I could just let go.  Perhaps I need a psychiatrist to hook me up with powerful narcotics.  Goof pills might be the ticket to bliss.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream concerning Bob Beckel.  He got into a huge fight with Andy Rooney on the set of The Five.  The squirmish started when Bob touched Andy's leg.  It was very violent.  They even broke the chairs and tables.  Andy finally apologized.  He promised to buy musical instruments for a local elementary school.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Forty-four percent of Korean men enjoy smoking cigarettes.  They're very angry over the proposed hike in tobacco prices.  I don't blame them.  The whole world is turning into a nanny state.  The government needs to get off our backs.

I turned on Fox News.  Obama wants to destroy ISIS, so we'll probably start dropping bombs in Syria by next week.  I'm cool with the president's decision.  The last thing the world needs is a hardcore Islamic caliphate taking over the Middle East.

Anyway, let's don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Max Keiser discussing the fate of emerging markets with Jerome Booth.

God bless.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Wednesday

(Ray Rice got fired from his job for domestic abuse.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made pizza for dinner.  She cooked the pie completely from scratch.  The meal was absolutely delicious.  My wife's a talented woman.  But her endless desire for perfection will one day be her undoing.  She's a real Asian go-getter who never learned how to relax.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola.  I'm a broke dead dick, so I only drink the off-brands.

I downloaded the first four seasons of Nurse Jackie.  Edie Falco plays the title role.  The show is quite good.  Yet I always feel slightly depressed after each episode.  Here's an example of the soul-destroying content.  A middle-aged woman enters the emergency room suffering from lupus.  She lives with her ten-year-old daughter in an inner-city tenement, and they can't afford the proper medicine.  Jackie steals it from the hospital to lend a helping hand.  You get the idea.  All the characters are down-and-out.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big deal.  I'm not some dirty misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to help my eldest son James-uh control his temper.  The boy is now cussing like a truck driver.  His mother often scolds his bad behavior. Yet he's completely unfazed.  He's tired of her endless bullshit.  Or so he says.  In the future, I hope they can have a nice relationship.  I could really use the peace.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another dream concerning my dead father.  We drove in silence down a deserted highway.  Suddenly, he turned his head in my direction and told me not to use drugs.  He claimed that drugs had killed his dad.  My grandfather actually died of lung cancer more than forty-years ago.  He was never a hop-head.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Asian Games are right around the corner.  The Koreans are expected to do well in both football and baseball.  They also supposedly excel in a sport called soft tennis.  I have no idea what that is.

I turned on Fox News.  Ray Rice got fired from the Baltimore Ravens for knocking out his wife in an Atlantic City elevator.  Maybe I'm a caveman.  But the penalty is far too harsh.  She spit on Mr. Rice and attempted to hit him with her fists.  He had every right in the world to defend himself.  Perhaps he used too much force.  But having a vagina doesn't give a female the right to act in a violent fashion.  I know one thing for sure.  She'll never spit on him again.

Anyway, let's don our tinfoil hats.  Here's John Williams predicting a hyper-inflationary depression.

God bless.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Tuesday

(Brandin Cooks is a stud.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served roasted chicken for dinner.  The meal was absolutely delicious.  Roasted chicken might be her new specialty.  The meat was both juicy and tender.  My lips were covered with a thin coat of salty grease.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola.  The whole experience was heavenly.

I'm a huge fan of the New Orleans Saints.  I downloaded their season opener.  The squad travelled to Atlanta to take on the Falcons.  The game was very exciting.  New Orleans lost by three points in overtime due to a costly turnover.  But no matter.  I have faith in Drew Brees.  And Brandin Cooks looks like a shoe-in for rookie of the year.  With that said, Seattle still remains the bully on the block.  Those boys play rough.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus to watch over my eldest son James-uh.  The poor kid is half a retard.  His only interest is computer games.  However, he did manage to ace his latest exam.  So there's hope.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I rested peacefully in a bed.  Then I saw a horrible monster watching me from a nearby window.  I pretended to slumber.  Yet the beast knew better.  He gave me a toothy smile and shook his head from side to side.  I nearly pissed my pants with fear.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Korean government has decided to raise the cost of cigarettes.   Currently, a pack of smokes runs about $2.50.  The powers-that-be will hike the price to $4.50 cents by the year 2020.  Those in charge claim it's a health issue.  But I know a shakedown when I see it.  This whole farce revolves around money.

I didn't get a chance to view Fox News.  I was too busy with other matters.  Soon I'll drive home and watch the Samsung Lions.  They play the NC Dinos at 2 p.m.

Anyway, let's don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing the American labor market.

God bless.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Monday

(Park Byung-Ho has 47 home runs this year.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  No big deal.  I'm thirty pounds overweight, and I really need the exercise.  In fact, I often use my protruding stomach as a place to rest my hands.  My goal isn't to lose weight.  I'm merely trying to maintain my current girth so that I don't grow to the size of a Thanksgiving float.

The sermon was good.  The pastor talked about the Jesus Police.  These are the folk who feel it's their duty to keep the congregation in line by snooping on their neighbors.  Korean Christians tend to be very legalistic.  Most believe that drinkers and smokers are going straight to hell.  Luckily, I found a church which will accept nicotine-addicted alcoholics.  Amen to that.

I took the family for lunch.  We had pizza.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of actual Coca-Cola.  It felt like my birthday.  Then we returned to our Soviet-style concrete apartment. My humble abode has a lot of personality.  The building resembles an old deserted mental hospital.  The outside is stained with dark streaks of dirt and mildew.  But the inside is clean, sunny, and beautiful. 

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Nexen Heroes hosted the Lotte Giants in the city of Seoul.  Nexen won the game 7-6.  Park Byung-Ho hit another monster home run.  He now leads the league with 47.  Park needs nine more to break the single-season Korean record.  Lee Seung-Yeop, who currently plays for Samsung, hit 56 back in 2003.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I thanked Jesus for my good fortune.  I have two healthy sons who will carry on the family name.  Plus I can afford to throw a little bit of meat into the family soup bowl from time to time.  Things could be much worse.  At least I wasn't born in Liberia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The ROK hired a German to manage their national soccer team.  I don't think that the change in leadership will help.  Koreans are very busy people.  They seldom lend much support to their domestic football league.

I turned on Fox News.  Brent Baer hosted a special on Benghazi.  He says that the inaction of the current administration is responsible for the deaths of three American citizens.  Bullshit.  The world was such a better place when Saddam and Qaddafi had power.  They were secular fascists who kept the Islamic troublemakers in line.  I couldn't give a flying screw about democracy in the Middle East.  I just want peace and stability.

Anyway, let's don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Harry Dent discussing the markets.

God bless.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Saturday

(Caleb Clay is a lucky guy.) 

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served chicken sandwiches for dinner.  She also gave me a big bowl of pretzels as a side dish.  The meal was pretty good.  I enjoy eating junk.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages are my only vice.  Poor old Smith is truly a saint.  There's a special place in heaven for me.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions hosted the Hanwha Eagles in the city of Daegu.  Samsung won the contest 8-0. The starting pitcher for Hanwha was a white man named Caleb Clay.  Caleb used to pitch for the Angels before moving to the peninsula.  He now makes $300,000 a year doing what he loves the best.  What a lucky guy.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus to take away my considerable apprehension.  I often go through life trembling like a little mouse.  I'm afraid of debt, cancer, murder, bankruptcy, unemployment, traffic accidents, etc.  Poor old Smith is the king of stress.  I want to be a fearless stud.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I was drinking whiskey in a crowded bar with several of my cronies.  Suddenly, a huge white buffalo stampeded into the tavern and proceeded to gore the patrons.  Blood went flying everywhere.  A waitress instructed me to stand on top of a pallet.  She said that large animals fear wood.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The NFL season is now underway.  Seattle trounced Green Bay 36-16.  The Seahawks have the best defense in the history of the game.  They might even lay claim to a dynasty--which is unheard of in the modern league.  The team is that good.

I turned on Fox News.  A deadly albino cobra in California escaped from its cage.  The authorities found the reptile on a neighbor's property.  I don't believe in owning exotic pets.  It's just too dangerous.  Luckily, nobody got killed.  But the owner needs to be prosecuted, and the snake should be destroyed.

Anyway, let's don our tinfoil caps.  Here's Gerald Celente discussing the future of gold.

God bless. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Friday

(The Nexen Heroes will probably win the title.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served beef and rice for dinner.  The meal wasn't very good.  I'm not a huge fan of rice.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles like a happy retarded child.  I'm wonderful that way.  I washed the food down with a tall glass of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me great pleasure.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions hosted the Hanwha Eagles in the city of Daegu.  Samsung won the contest 4-0.  The Lions are the reigning champions.  That's why I support the team.  I always go with the winner.  Lately, however, the squad hasn't been doing well.  In fact, they recently dropped five games in a row.  Nexen will probably take the title in October.  So I might have to reevaluate my allegiance when November rolls around.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to put some spark back in my marriage.  I've been with my wife for over fifteen years.  And we're now tired of looking at each other.  She feeds me bacon every day hoping that I'll keel over from a heart attack.  But it will take more than pork to stop a stud like me.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while taking a bathroom break.  South Koreans are the worst drivers in the entire civilized world.  Therefore, the government will try to cut accidents by half over a four year time period.  The powers-that-be want more traffic cops monitoring the peninsula's highways.  I don't have a solution.  Yet something has to be done.  I almost got squashed by a bus this morning.  The madness must finally come to an end.

I turned on Fox News.  Fast-food workers in America are currently on strike in several cities.  They're asking their fellow countrymen to boycott the entire industry for a week.  These hard working folk are demanding fifteen dollars an hour.  I believe in their cause.  Now that manufacturing has shit the bed, Americans need to earn a living wage at other jobs.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing the state of the world with Ron Paul.

God bless.  

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Thursday

(Crowley has the best one-liners in Hollywood.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went shopping at Emart.  She brought home a pepperoni pizza.  It came in a large cardboard box.  The meal was delicious.  I love junk food.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages give me great pleasure.

I downloaded season nine of Supernatural.  The show is pretty freaking stupid.  But I'm a huge fan, nonetheless.  Supernatural is all about the characters.  They frequently tickle my funny bone.  My favorite is Crowley.  Satan's dead, and he's the new king of hell.  Crowley has the best one-liners in Hollywood.  The man is certainly quick with a joke, and his timing is impeccable.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big deal.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to give me patience.  James-uh failed another test, and I really hit the roof.  Sadly, the kid's never met a book that he actually wanted to open.  Yet I was the same when I was his age.  So I've got to keep my cool and remain a level-headed daddy.  Raising children isn't for pussies.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a horrible dream.  I turned into a werewolf and murdered my mother.  I felt very sad and depressed.  But my friends refused to punish me.  They insisted that I was an OK guy.  Try to figure that one out.  Even my demons have demons.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The American government might give a missile shield to South Korea.  I couldn't be happier.  The ROK has the most dangerous border in the world.  So I need all the protection I can get.

I turned on Fox News.  ISIS beheaded another journalist.  I don't understand their actions.  The American people are tired of war.  Therefore, it's rather silly to keep provoking the United States into military action.  ISIS is almost like a snake devouring its own tail.  The group seems to have a death wish.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones discussing global politics with Craig Paul Roberts.

God bless.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Tuesday

(Are Islamic terrorists sexually frustrated?)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared beef and rice for dinner.  The meal wasn't her best effort.  I'm not a big fan of rice.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles like a true champion.  I'm wonderful that way.  The glass is always half-full in Smith's humble abode.  I drank a bottle of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.

I downloaded a show called Tyrant.  It centers around an Arab doctor who returns to the Middle East to assist with his father's dictatorship.  He thinks he's making the country a better place to live.  Yet his good intentions always yield negative results.  I'm slowly warming to the show.  However, it hasn't achieved Smith's highest recommendation.  That coveted honor goes to The Knick.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I'm still stunned by Sunday's sermon.  The idea of John asking Jesus to get him out of prison tugs at my heart strings.  I see The Baptist in a strange new light.  He's just another human filled with despair and hopelessness.  After all, he was brutally beheaded while still in the prime of his life.  This knowledge makes me like him even more.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I was standing in the middle of a football field.  Next to me was a man reclining on a stretcher.  There was a huge ulcer on his leg.  A nurse was busy draining the wound.  Huge amounts of pus leaked onto a blanket.  The smell was horrible.  The nurse kept gagging.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A man in China went completely off the rails.  He killed several children at an elementary school with a kitchen knife.  He was upset because the school had just rejected his child.  Asians take education way too seriously.

I turned on Fox News.  Many Islamic Brits are joining ISIS because they can't get pussy.  And this pervasive sexual frustration is responsible for their lunacy.  I'm not buying the bullshit.  I've always been a loser with women.  Even my wife hates me.  However, this lack of success has never prompted me to take a human life.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones discussing some popular conspiracy theories.

God bless.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Monday

(Lotteria is the Asian McDonald's.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  No big deal.  I have a fat ass, so I need all the exercise I can get.  The sermon was excellent.  It centered around Matthew 11.  John the Baptist sends one of his followers to question the nature of Jesus.  John hopes that Jesus will be able to get him out of Herod's dungeon.  But God doesn't work that way.  The Baptist is later beheaded.

I took the family to Lotteria.  Lotteria is the Asian version of McDonald's.  I'm not a huge fan of the franchise.  However, the restaurant features filling and inexpensive junk food which my children enjoy.  We bought a bucket of chicken, six orders of French fries, and three large drinks for twenty-five dollars.  Not too shabby.

We returned to our Soviet-style concrete tenement.  I downloaded UFC 177.  I love watching grown men knock the living shit out of each other.  The main event featured a fighter named T.J. Dillashaw.  He stopped his opponent in the fifth round with a brutal kick to the head.  How this stuff is legal is beyond me.  I'm just surprised that these athletes manage to survive such savage beatings.

(T.J. Dillashaw wins again.)


I paid homage to the Christ God.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I asked Jesus to forgive me for watching grown men knock the living shit out of each other.  I know it's a sin. Yet I simply can't help myself.  I'm like a retarded child staring at a zoo animal.  The thrill simply refuses to dissipate.  So what's a boy to do?

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A woman in Seoul committed suicide this weekend.  She couldn't handle the shame of being sexually harassed by her supervisor.  Asians kill themselves far too often.  It's a real problem here on the peninsula.  Koreans are always jumping out of their apartment windows for one reason or another.

I turned on Fox News.  The president admitted that he has not yet formulated a plan for Syria.  The media went wild.  I'm baffled.  Why call a press conference to tell the world that you have no talent at foreign policy?  Obama graduated from Harvard with high honors.  But he often acts like an idiot.  Commonsense isn't one of his stronger attributes.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's the excitable Max Keiser discussing Bitcoin.

God bless.       

Friday, August 29, 2014

Friday

(Lee Seung-Yeop struck out in the ninth inning.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served fish and rice for dinner.  The meal was all right.  At least the rice wasn't purple this time.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.  But I'm thinking of switching to tea.  My belly is so big that I'm using it as an arm-rest.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions travelled to Seoul to play the Doosan Bears.  The Lions lost the game 6-5.  The squad had a chance to take the lead in the top of the ninth.  Lee Seung-Yeop stepped to the plate with two down and a man on second.  Sadly, the 37-year-old home run legend struck out while trying to hit a nasty slider.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty nihilist.  I asked Jesus to transform my wife into a friendly person.  I'm tired of listening to the woman.  All she does is bitch, bitch, bitch.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I stood on a hill looking down on a supermarket.  It was my place of employment.  I walked into the store with a heap of plastic bottles cradled in my arms.  I dropped the bottles and buffed the floors.  After that, I filled a large bin with inflatable beach balls.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A man from Canada wrote an editorial about driving through the Korean countryside.  He exhorted his fellow foreigners to get out of their houses and enjoy the natural beauty which the peninsula has to offer. Unfortunately, I'm too lazy to drag my fat ass off the sofa.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed Vladimir Putin.  I'm no fan of this shirtless moron.  But the Russian people seem to adore their president.  His approval rating is through the roof.  I just hope his never ending gamesmanship doesn't lead to a widespread war in Europe.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Jim Rickards discussing the future of gold with Peter Schiff.

God bless.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Thursday

(Jeff Rense has wonderful hair.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served pork and rice for dinner.  The meal wasn't very good.  I'm not a big fan of rice.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my food like a well-trained retarded child.  I'm wonderful that way.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me great pleasure.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions played the Lotte Giants in the city of Pusan.  Lotte won the game 11-4.  J.D. Martin was the starting pitcher for the Lions.  He's a white man from Louisiana.  His wife and young son are always in the stands dressed in LSU gear.  I love the Tigers.  Poor old Smith bleeds purple and gold.

I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I asked Jesus to help my eldest son become a more serious student.  The kid's blessed with a lot of intellectual talent.  Yet he squanders his considerable gifts on internet bullshit. He's just another lonely crackhead blowing up the virtual universe.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Manchester United got trounced 4-0 by the lowly MK Dons.  The Dons are a team mired in England's 3rd division.  United, on the other hand, is a world class squad.  So this kind of shit isn't supposed to happen.  Perhaps their humiliating defeat is a sign of the coming apocalypse.  One can only hope.

I turned on Fox News.  A firearms instructor from Arizona was teaching a nine-year-old kid how to shoot an Uzi.  The little girl accidentally killed the man with the weapon.  I'm a huge proponent of the 2nd Amendment.  However, knuckleheads who hand machine guns to children make conservatives look stupid.  A bit of commonsense goes a long way.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's crazy Jeff Rense discussing the sorry state of world with Gerald Celente.

God bless.   

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Tuesday

(The Knick is the best show on television.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made beef and rice for dinner.  The meal wasn't very good.  In fact, the rice was purple.  The purple stuff is supposed to be healthier than the white variety.  Nevertheless, the color didn't help my appetite.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  But the sugar failed to mask the flavor.

I watched the latest episode of The Knick.  Clive Owen is an impressive actor, and his series is far and away the best on television.  Dr. Thackery's latest patient is a woman being eaten alive by syphillis.  She's even lost her nose to the illness.  He desperately tries to help.  Yet the technology to make her beautiful again simply doesn't exist.  So the poor creature is forced to spend the rest of her life with a gaping hole in the middle of her face.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to help me through this endless recession.  I've got mouths to feed.  I just hope that I can keep working till I keel over and die. 

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Korea won the Little League World Series.  The peninsula is screaming with joy.  Beating the snot out of an American team is icing on top of the cake.

I turned on Fox News.  James Foley was beheaded by a rapper from an affluent suburb of London.  Talk about adding insult to injury.  Radical Islam is a scourge facing the entire planet.  Nothing satisfies these devilish ragheads.  Mark my words. Eventually, they'll kill us all.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil caps.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing the death of Mike Brown.

God bless.            

Monday, August 25, 2014

Monday

(Senator John McCain takes a picture with Islamic terrorists.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  I'm 45-years-old, so I try to keep in shape.  It's a losing battle.  The sermon was actually pretty good.  The speaker integrated the New Testament with modern day politics.  I enjoy that kind of stuff.

I took the family to McDonald's.  I had a Big Mac with two large orders of French Fries.  The kids ate chicken nuggets.  I'm a big fan of junk food.  Starch and sugar bring me much happiness.  But I cannot tell a lie.  I really miss smoking.  Giving up the booze was no big deal.  However, I'd remove my left nut with a warm spoon for a pack of Marlboros. 

We returned to our Soviet-style concrete tenement.  Don't laugh.  It's nearly paid-for.  I downloaded the latest episode of Hell On Wheels.  The series is one of my all-time favorites.  It's set in the in the city of Cheyenne, Wyoming.  The program's filled with crazy Mormons, blood-thirsty Indians, scheming prostitutes, degenerate gamblers, etc.  What's not to love?  Hell On Wheels has my highest recommendation.  Give the show a try.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to look after the health of my children.  There's a nasty bug going around.  Poor James-uh can't stop hacking his lungs out.  Perhaps he contracted the deadly Ebola virus.  Stranger things have happened.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  My sister and I were children again.  We walked to a local convenience store and bought Pop Rocks.  We then had a violent argument concerning school work.  I spilled the candy on the sidewalk.  After that, I cried like a woman.

I woke up at 6 a.m.  I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Korean men are travelling to the Philippines to copulate with the natives.  Many of the women are becoming pregnant.  Later, the men fly back to the peninsula without supporting their children.  The fatherless waifs are referred to as Kopinos.  The powers-that-be are cracking down on these deadbeat fathers.  And rightly so.

I turned on Fox News.  ISIS is still causing problems.  John McCain called Obama a pussy.  He believes the president should be doing much more to stem the bloodshed in the Middle East.  A few years back, McCain had his picture taken with known Islamic terrorists.  Sadly, he was too freaking stupid to tell the difference between a good Muslim and a bad Muslim.  The senator needs to keep his mouth shut.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones.  He believes the American government wants to place us all in concentration camps.

God bless.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Saturday

(Dustin Nippert pitches for the Doosan Bears.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to Homeplus.  She brought a pepperoni pizza back to our humble abode.  It came in a large cardboard box.  The meal was delicious.  I love junk food.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.  The experience was heavenly.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions hosted the Doosan Bears in the city of Daegu.  Doosan won the game 5-4.  The starting pitcher for the Bears was a white man named Dustin Nippert.  He used to play for the Arizona Diamondbacks, but things didn't work out.  Mr. Nippert makes $470,000 a year.  That's great money.  Plus he loves his job.  Talk about a blessing.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to care for the health of my eldest boy James-uh.  The poor kid's running a high fever with flu-like symptoms.  In fact, his mother's taking him to the hospital as we speak.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a strange dream.  I was put in charge of a company picnic.  However, I had to borrow money in order to buy the meat.  People complained that there wasn't enough food.  To make matters worse, I didn't have a nickel to repay my debt.  Everybody hated me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Korean police caught thirty foreigners selling and smoking marijuana.  They'll end up serving jail time before being deported.  Drugs are no laughing matter here in Asia.  It's best to leave your stash at home.

I turned on Fox News.  The president's playing too much golf.  Even the New York Times is complaining about his aloof behavior.  He does seem quite detached these days.  But he's never been a passionate man.  Obama's too cool for school.  That's why the ladies love him.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's a mega-rant by Alex Jones.

God bless.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Thursday

(James Foley is the latest victim of the Muslim Horde.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared curry and rice for dinner.  The meal was nothing special.  I'm not a big fan of rice.  Yet I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  I'm wonderful that way.  The glass is always half-full in Smith's humble abode. 

I washed the food down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me joy.  Then I downloaded the latest episode of Under the Dome.  Sadly, the show has completely jumped the shark.  It's far too outlandish.  The characters are surrounded by a translucent dome.  However, there's a secret door which will release them to a neighboring town.  On top of that, the military industrial complex is frantically searching for a magic egg.  I simply can't handle the bullshit.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty nihilist.  I asked Jesus to keep me healthy.  Poor old Smith has a terrible cold.  I can't stop coughing and blowing my nose.  Perhaps I've contracted the deadly Ebola virus.  I wouldn't be surprised.  Stranger things have happened.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another nightmare.  My pastor was really pissed at the congregation.  He accused us of misinterpreting Paul's letter to the Romans.  He said we were ignorant and implored us to change our evil ways.  We agreed to try harder.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Korean authorities are concerned with a rise in gangsterism.  Back in the day, the local thugs were only involved in extortion and loansharking.  Currently, however, the criminal element is quite diverse in their illegal activities.  Officials fear that they might even possess the know-how to manipulate the domestic stock market.

I turned on Fox News.  ISIS beheaded an American journalist named James Foley.  Mr. Foley's execution was both savage and gut-wrenching.  I hold no love for Islam.  And can you blame me?  Most Muslims are primitive knuckle-draggers who prefer living in the seventh century.  Mark my words. These loons will end up killing us all.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones.  He believes America is worse than North Korea.

God bless.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Tuesday

(Ray Donovan is definitely worth a look.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady worked late, so I made dinner for the family.  We had beef and rice with cola and chocolate.  Poor old Smith can't find his way around a kitchen like Betty Crocker.  Yet I'm not half bad with a frying pan.  The boys didn't complain--which certainly isn't saying much.  Those two would eat a pile of shit out a skid-row dumpster.

I downloaded a show called Ray Donovan.  Ray's a fixer from Boston who currently lives in Los Angeles.  He does all the dirty work for his rich Jew employer.  Ray has quite a few millstones hanging from his neck.  His priest molested him back in the day.  His father spent 20 years in jail.  His sister committed suicide.  His brother has Parkinson's Disease.  You get the idea.  He's a troubled man.  What can I tell you?  I love the series.  I highly recommend it to everyone.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to look after my health for the next twenty years.  I want to give my sons a good start in life.  After that, poor old Smith is free to die of ass cancer.  Amen.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  The police put me in jail because of a crime committed in Central America.  They claimed that drug lords had taken over my house and were using it as a base to kill innocent people.  I told them that I didn't own any property in that part of the globe.  They wouldn't listen.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A government prosecutor from Jeju Island lost his job because he supposedly masturbated in public.  One of the witnesses is a female high school student.  I'm a tad skeptical about the whole incident.  Koreans are notorious for playing hard and dirty in the game of politics.

I turned on Fox News.  The lawlessness continues in Ferguson, Missouri.  The governor recently called out the National Guard to keep the looters at bay.  I'm not overly fond of politicians or gangsters.  Our rights are constantly crushed by both groups.  They love to see us in chains, and our fear makes them feel powerful.  Bastards.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's a great rant from Gerald Celente.

God bless. 

Monday, August 18, 2014

Monday

(I've never met Alex Jones.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  No big deal.  I'm thirty pounds overweight, so I exercise to avoid death.  Don't get me wrong.  I never lose any significant weight.  However, I do manage to maintain my current girth.  Poor old Smith is just your average American fat ass.  Luckily, I'm not morbidly obese.

The service was the same-old same-old.  My pastor scolded me once again.  I read the bible.  I go to church.  I pray daily.  But that's not enough.  According to him, I'm still a judgmental, legalistic asshole.  He'd actually like me better if I were a black cross-dressing homosexual.  Conservative white men are despised globally--even by members of the clergy.  I shit you not.

I took the family to lunch.  We had a dish called tok-terri-tong.  Translation?  Hot chicken soup with potatoes.  The meal was delicious.  Yet be warned.  The spice will burn a hole through your tongue.  The dish is very ethnic.  Therefore, you have to be open to a new experience before giving the food a try.

I downloaded a show called The Knick.  It stars Clive Owen as a cocaine-addicted turn-of-the-century surgeon.  This series is currently the best program on television.  Nothing comes close.  However, the medical scenes are often extremely graphic.  I don't want to give too much away.  Get back to me and tell me what you think. Your opinions on the state of modern drama are always highly valued.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to help me be a better person.  I certainly don't want to go around judging the world as if I were a king.  It all begins with humility.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a strange dream.  I was a student at the United States Naval Academy.  I attended a guest lecture by Alex Jones.  My cell phone rang and I had to leave the auditorium in a hurry.  Alex gave me a dirty look.  After that, he accused me of being globalist scum.  The other students laughed uproariously.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the newspaper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Manchester United lost 2-1 at home against lowly Swansea.  It might be another difficult season for the boys in red.  One of the strikers for Swansea is Korean.  He managed to score the first goal.  I can't remember his name.

I turned on Fox News.  David Gregory got fired from Meet the Press.  His ratings were absolutely awful.  He's being replaced by Chuck Todd.  NBC has lost too much credibility to be taken seriously by the folks.  The whole network is singularly devoted to wiping President Obama's ass.  They're truly just an arm of the federal government.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Max Keiser discussing the next great depression with Dr. Michael Hudson.

God bless.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Saturday

 (Michael Brown was no gentle giant.)

Yesterday, I didn't enjoy a traditional dinner.  I ate several hunks of apple pie instead.  The Dragon Lady purchased the pastry at Costco.  It cost ten dollars.  I washed the vittles down with a large glass of generic cola.  Unfortunately, poor old Smith has little cash, so I can only afford the off-brands.  Yet I remain thankful.  At least I wasn't born in Liberia.

I downloaded the latest episode of The Strain.  I'm starting to warm to the show.  Death by disease is downright terrifying--especially with the current Ebola scare.  The Strain effectively exploits our primordial fear of sickness.  For instance, would you kiss an uncle infected with AIDS on the forehead?  Or would you prefer to politely keep your distance?  This strong aversion to viruses and bacteria is built into our brains as we mature in the womb.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I asked Jesus to teach my wife some basic manners.  She often hurls terrible insults at her loving husband.  I used to believe that hitting a woman was a horrible crime.  Now I wonder if Ray Rice got a bum rap from the feminist powers-that-be.  Just saying.

(Running back Ray Rice knocked his fiancee out cold in an elevator.)

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a dream about driving through Venice, Louisiana.  I parked in front of a red building.  The door was locked.  I walked across the highway toward a yellow building.  That door was locked, too.  I nearly got hit by a car for my troubles.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A lot of middle aged Koreans aren't getting sex from their husbands.  In fact, according to the survey, twenty-five percent haven't had coitus in over a month.  Stress seems to be the main culprit for this lack of affection.

I turned on Fox News.  The shooting in Ferguson, Missouri is still dominating the headlines.  But the victim Michael Brown wasn't some innocent gentle giant.  Far from it.  In fact, Big Mike was caught on camera committing robbery and assault a mere three hours before his death.  So I'm not throwing this cop in prison just yet.  If a criminal that size approached me in a threatening manner, I'd shoot him, too.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Paul Craig Roberts. He believes the American dollar will soon die.

God bless.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Friday

(Kim Kwang-Hyun pitches for the SK Wyverns.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared spicy beef and noodles for dinner.  The meal sucked ass.  Korean food doesn't always float my boat.  The fare can be both strange and intimidating.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm wonderful that way.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The SK Wyverns hosted the Samsung Lions in the city of Incheon.  Samsung won the game 2-1.  The starting pitcher for the Wyverns was Kim Kwang-Hyun.  Mr. Kim's attracting a lot of attention from American scouts.  They think he has the right stuff to jump into the major leagues.  Kwang-Hyun makes $750,000 a year.  That's great money.  He also has a wonderful set of teeth.  What a lucky man.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not a dirty misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to help me with some health issues.  My choppers have been giving me problems for several years now.  I live in a constant state of nagging pain.  Soon I'll be toothless.  But at least the agony might come to an end.  A comfortable life with dentures would suit me just fine.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another dream concerning fishing.  I waded into a frigid river and tried to catch a giant sturgeon.  I hooked a leviathan so large that it dragged me under the water.  I used to be an avid sportsman.  Perhaps I should spend my weekends escaping the urban jungle.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Both men and women are eating far too much salt.  This overindulgence kills nearly two million people globally per year.  I love salt.  I refuse to cut back.  I already gave up smoking and drinking.  That's as far as I'm willing to go.

I turned on Fox News.  A young black man in Ferguson, Missouri was shot and killed by a white cop.  The folks are up in arms.  Some broke into stores and stole merchandise.  Others hurled Molotov cocktails at the fuzz.  The police employed tear gas and rubber bullets to quell the unrest.  Things seem calm today.  I'll keep you updated.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Peter Schiff discussing American race relations. 

God bless.  

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Wednesday

(I've never played darts with Ted Turner.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served Korean pancakes for dinner.  The meal was comprised of fried batter mixed with vegetables and squid.  My kids love that kind of stuff.  For me, however, the fare was just a little bit too ethnic.  But I didn't complain.  I smiled and ate my vittles like a happy young retarded boy.  I'm wonderful that way.  The glass is always half-full in Smith's neighborhood.

I downloaded a series called The Divide.  It centers around an innocent Caucasian who stands accused of slaughtering a black family.  The show's filled with a shitload of HBO veteran actors.  You'll recognize a lot of familiar faces. I find the premise quite shocking.  In the liberal media, the white man is always the villain. So this change is quite refreshing.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I asked Jesus to give me more patience.  Lately, I've been quick to anger.  This unwanted fury often eats at me like a cancer.  Conversely, forgiveness and serenity are wonderful for the body.  They make us both spiritually and physically healthy.  Trust me.  Emotional baggage is for the birds.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream about playing darts in a bar with Ted Turner.  Mr. Turner was the owner of the tavern.  He kept hurling insults at me.  I called him rude and informed him that I'd never drink in his establishment again.  He promptly expressed remorse for his bad behavior.  I refused to accept his apology.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Asian Games are coming to the peninsula in September.  The Korean squad is expected to win the gold medal in baseball.  Japan has the strongest professional league in Asia.  However, their team is made up entirely of amateurs.

I turned on Fox News.  Robin Williams committed suicide.  I loved Mork and Mindy.  I also marveled at his mad stand-up comedy skills.  But most of his movies sucked complete ass.  He frequently played pompous know-it-alls.  Patch Adams was so bad that I damn near cried during the film.  No kidding.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Alex Jones.  He believes that Osama Bin Laden is still alive.

God bless.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Monday

(The Last Ship is good for a laugh.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  No big deal.  I need the exercise.  I'm thirty pounds overweight.  I used to be much skinnier back when I was addicted to cigarettes.  Sadly, the game's rigged.  You can smoke a Joe and die of cancer.  Or you can eat a burger and watch your heart explode.  So what's a boy to do?  Yet I remain thankful.  At least I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I accidentally angered my pastor.  He kept talking about justification versus works.  The conflict is as old as the bible, itself. He said that I was too legalistic and asked me if Jesus is working miracles in my life.  I told him that my salvation is completely up to God.  There's no way for a man to be absolutely certain if he's saved or not.  He accused me of denying Christ--which probably means that I'm going to hell.  His words struck me as a tad harsh.  I'm not some biblical scholar.  I'm merely an average guy raising a family.  No need to spiritually terrorize me.


I took my family to Kentucky Fried Chicken.  We had chicken and French fries for lunch.  It's a pleasure watching my youngest child eat.  His name's Bluce.  I've never seen such a small creature shovel that much food into his mouth.  He devoured four large pieces of poultry.  Then he washed it all down with ice cream while giving his older brother the bird.  What a manly specimen. Bluce is quickly becoming an outrageous bad-ass.  Good for him.

We walked back to our Soviet-style concrete apartment.  I downloaded a show called The Last Ship.  The story centers around a virus which is infecting the entire world.  This dastardly bug has a hundred percent kill rate.  The only survivors are on a boat drifting in the ocean.  I've only completed the first episode.  I'll let you know how it ends.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big deal.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I asked Jesus to heal the muscles in my thighs.  Lately, they've been giving me some nagging pain.  Nothing too serious.  But little injuries often grow into life-threatening maladies.  My apartment has no elevator.  I have to hoof it up four flights of stairs.  I need my legs to remain healthy.

I went to bed at midnight.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Twenty South Koreans are currently on death row in the Chinese prison system.  The vast majority have been found guilty of narcotics distribution.  The rest have been convicted of murder.  There's not much the South Korean government can do for the men.  Those boys are screwed with a capital S.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Max Keiser discussing the European Union with Simon Rose.

God bless.  

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Saturday

(Shane Youman pitches for the Lotte Giants.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to Emart.  She brought home a peperoni pizza.  It came in a large cardboard box.  The Children of the Rice killed the entire pie in less than fifteen minutes.  I only managed to eat three slices.  I'm lucky to have escaped with my fingers.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Sadly, poor old Smith can only afford off-brands.  Yet I remain thankful.  Things could be much worse.  I'm just happy that I wasn't born in Chad.

I watched baseball on the tube.  The Samsung Lions hosted the Lotte Giants in the city of Daegu.  The Lions won the game 10-9.  The starting pitcher for Lotte was an American named Shane Youman.  He's from the great state of Louisiana.  Shane used to pitch for the Pittsburgh Pirates, but things didn't work out.  Mr. Youman currently makes $360,000 a year doing what he loves.  Plus he has all his teeth.  What a lucky man.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus for a life with no drama.  I absolutely hate conflict.  I wish I had a switch that could turn off my brain.  Vegetables must be the happiest of all the living organisms.  What I wouldn't give to be a carrot.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had a dream about a girl I used to know.  She kept asking me to touch her breasts.  I refused.  She had a boyfriend, and I didn't want to make him angry.  I feared that he might become violent.  Perhaps I'm a latent homosexual.  Stranger things have happened.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A teacher in Incheon recently got reprimanded.  He sprayed insecticide on the face of a naughty young high school student.  Corporal punishment was recently banned here on the peninsula, and many teachers are having a tough time maintaining control in their classrooms.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed the sad situation in Iraq. The majority of the panel seemed to favor boots on the ground.  Yet the Iraqi army outnumbers ISIS five to one.  I thought we trained those Shiite bastards in the art of warfare.  If that's the best they can do, then they better get ready for a Sunni boot on their throat.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Bill Bonner discussing the upcoming financial collapse with Alex Jones.  

God bless.