Thursday, February 28, 2013

Thursday

(Tim Olyphant is the same age as poor old Smith.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served pork and French fries for dinner.  The meat was very greasy.  I had to drink lots of Coke in order to avoid the squirts.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm wonderful that way.

My youngest boy Bruce got a new perm.  His hair is very curly and soft.  I'm involved in a interracial marriage.  One son appears Chinese while the other looks whiter than snow.  Genetics.  Go figure.

I watched Justified.  The show features Tim Olyphant as a federal marshal.  We're both the same age.  However, Olyphant resembles Adonis while poor old Smith is an ugly fat man with rotting teeth and chronic halitosis.  Life ain't fair.  But what's a boy to do?  It is what it is.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  After all, I'm not some filthy atheist or misguided misanthrope.  Jesus came back from the dead.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 5 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Korean gangsters infiltrated several student unions at universities across the peninsula.  They embezzled more than half a million dollars.  Criminals are smart people.  Yet they always end up in jail.  Some people can't control their greed.

I turned on Fox News.  The White House wants to expand our role in the Syrian conflict.  More Americans will be shipped away to get their nuts blown off by knuckle-dragging towel-headed Muslims. My opinion?  Let the camel jockeys deal with their own problems. Bring the boys back home.

I drove Jim to school.  We listened to Three Doors Down.  For a brief moment, I actually thought I was young and cool.  Then reality came crashing in.  I successfully fought the urge to cry like a woman.  Good for me.

It's currently 3 p.m.  I'm drowsy and cold.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Wednesday

(The Lord's Prayer is perfect.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served egg rolls for dinner.  They were smothered in chili sauce.  My wife is the egg roll queen.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm wonderful that way.  Love is my middle name.

Jim got into trouble.  He came home from math class too early.  His mother called the teacher.  The teacher said Jim's effort was lacking.  She whacked him with a wooden spoon.  Good for her.  Math is important.

Drama.  Drama.  Drama.

I watched The Walking Dead.  I've never been a big fan of zombies.  Yet I must tell the truth.  The series is terrific.  The black chick is the queen of decapitation.  Great stuff.  American television truly rocks.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  Jesus was murdered and came back from the dead.  I can't wrap my head around the fine details.  But make no mistake.  His power is true power.  The rest is all bullshit.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Forty percent of foreign brides in Korea feel they face discrimination.  I'm a foreign husband.  Discrimination is rampant here on the peninsula.  It's an Asian hobby.

I turned on Fox News.  Bill O'Reilly claims the Republican party is in for hard times.  He says the Democrats have the Hispanics, blacks, and liberals all wrapped up.  So the remaining conservatives are screwed.  He might be right.

It's currently 6:30 p.m.  I'm relaxing on my sofa.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Tuesday

(Supernatural:  A great show for retarded people.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served pork and egg rolls for dinner.  The vittles were good.  She cooked the meal in our Phillips air-fryer.  I still love that machine.  It simplifies my complex life.

I yelled at Jim.  I'm a rotten father who makes many demands.  I want him fluent in two languages.  So I constantly needle the poor boy.  I can't help myself.  What's a daddy to do?

I watched Supernatural.  Sam and Dean are sent back to the Old West.  They find a special gun that can kill any creature.  Dean shoots a monster with the magic pistol.  I find the show extremely entertaining.  No big surprise.  Sadly, I'm retarded.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 4 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the newspaper.  The Miami Heat are doing well.  Their win streak is up to eleven.  However, Oklahoma shall win the championship.

I turned on Fox News.  Bill O'Reilly complained about Michelle Obama.  He's disappointed that she was allowed to participate in the Academy Awards.  Who freaking cares?  Screw the world.

It's currently 6:45 p.m.  Jim is studying at the kitchen table.  My wife keeps threatening to hit him with a large wooden spoon.  Poor kid.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Monday

(Messi:  All the girlies love him.)

Yesterday, I walked ten miles through the rice paddies.  The weather was brisk.  But I enjoyed myself in spite of the cutting wind and cold temperature.  South Korea is a very noisy country.  Sometimes a guy just needs to get away from the bullshit.

I took the family to church.  Driving on the peninsula is crazy.  I usually say the f-word several times before worship.  However, I refrained from all bad language.  Poor old Smith is rapidly becoming a saint.  Soon baby birds shall land on my head.

I have a great pastor.  He's a proud member of the Ivy League Mafia.  The man graduated from Yale.  His mother is quite proud.

Nonetheless, he didn't bring his A-game.  Exodus 3 is exiting stuff.  He missed the connection between God's words on Sinai and Jesus addressing the Children of the Devil in John 8-58.  Oh well.  Nobody's perfect.

We went to McDonald's.  I had a Quarterpounder and French fries while the kids enjoyed McNuggets.  The Dragon Lady didn't eat.  Fast food ain't her thing.

I watched a show called Shameless.  The program features William Macy as a depraved alcoholic.  His family is an absolute mess.  I find the series fascinating in an anthropological sort of way.  Western society is crumbling.  Soon all of us white people will become slaves to Asia.  So let it be written.  So let it be done.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Our Father on bended knees.  I prayed in the bathroom.  My soviet-style concrete apartment doesn't come with a closet.  We hang all our stuff on racks and shelves.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the newspaper.  There was yet another story about the famous Hispanic midget named Messi.  He's a soccer player from Argentina.  Messi must be the most famous man in the universe.  The girls love him.  

I turned on Meet the Press.  There's more fiscal drama afoot.  Sadly, I can no longer be bothered.  Let the sky fall.  Who gives a flying screw?

It's currently 2:45 p.m.  I'm killing time before the drive home.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.   

Monday, February 18, 2013

Gone for seven days

(See you in seven days.)

I'll be away for seven days.  I'm visiting another city.  The next two weeks are gonna be a grind.  Then stuff settles down and returns to normal.

But that's OK.  To be honest, you're probably sick and tired of reading this piece of crap.  My blog is very repetitive.  All I do is eat and watch television.  Maybe I'll have time to recharge my batteries.

I turned off the comments until I return.  Why?  Suppose someone threatens to commit a crime in my absence?  Does that make me responsible?  I truly don't know.  

Sorry for being such a control freak.  I'm paranoid.  The world is filled with disturbed weirdos.  

Peace.  Talk to you soon.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Sunday

(The Sopranos:  Adrianna is talking to the government.)

Yesterday, I hiked ten miles through the rice paddies.  Exercise is great stress relief.  I'm a reformed smoker.  And I still miss my cigarettes from time to time.  But I have to admit the truth.  I feel much better.

The Dragon Lady served beef and French fries for dinner.  She used too much spice.  Yet I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  Poor old Smith is a marvelous man.

I watched The Sopranos.  I'm currently enjoying season five.  Adrianna is in bed with the government.  So I'm guessing that Tony will eventually have her clipped.  Steve Buscemi is doing a fine job.  His character has fallen off the horse.  He's back to his murderous ways. 

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 8 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  The Celtics might trade Kevin Garnett to the Clippers.  I've never seen Garnett give less than 100 percent in any game.  His intensity level is truly off the charts.  This deal could help both teams.

I turned on Fox News.  South African Oscar Pistorius stands accused of murdering his girlfriend.  He shot her several times with a pistol.  When police arrived on the scene, he was giving the corpse mouth to mouth resuscitation.  What a senseless waste of life.

It's 6:20 p.m.  I caught a terrible cold.  I feel like shit.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Saturday

(Cornel West thinks Obama is a war criminal.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner.  I'm not a big fan of the franchise.  Greasy poultry isn't my cup of tea.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm marvelous that way.

Jim studied the Korean language with his mother.  He didn't do a good job.  So she beat him with a wooden spoon.  I call it the Spoon of Justice.  My wife doesn't play around.

I watched Supernatural.  In the series, Fate is a mousy blond woman.  She despises Sam and Dean so much so that she attempts to murder them.  Cass is an angel who is attracted to the boys.  He steps in and saves their bacon.

Sounds stupid, doesn't it?  Nevertheless, I love the program.  Here's the cold hard facts.  Poor old Smith was born a retard.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  In Revelation, Sodom is compared to Egypt.  The infamous city--according to Saint John--is a metaphor for worldliness. 

We all live in Sodom.  If you cheat on your taxes, welcome to Sodom.  If you have a mistress on the side, welcome to Sodom.  If you live your life like a bitter black-hearted son-of-a-bitch, welcome to Sodom.

We're oppressed by death.  We're oppressed by sin.  We're oppressed by government.  And we're oppressed by our own ignorance.  We live in chains.

But the Lord destroyed Sodom.  He did this by sending Jesus.  Sin and death are the locks which bind us.  Christ is the key which sets us free.  Amen.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 8 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Ryu Hyun-jin is a shit hot pitcher from the peninsula.  The Dodgers picked him up for millions of dollars.  

The Los Angeles media is worried.  The 26-year-old smokes cigarettes and drinks a lot of beer.  He isn't in the best of shape.  I predict big success for this kid.  He's a very impressive left-hander.

I turned on Fox News.  Cornel West--a famous lib from Princeton University--is now calling President Obama a war criminal.  This is a huge story.  The president's base will desert him this term.  Just watch.  Things are gonna get real ugly.

It's currently 1 p.m.  I'm off for a walk.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.  

Friday, February 15, 2013

Friday

(Poor old Smith is a toothless southern hillbilly.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served duck for dinner.  The meal was far too greasy.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm wonderful that way.

Jim went to math academy for two hours.  His favorite teacher recently got fired.  The guy was good.  I don't understand why the institute let him go.  Oh well.  It's a hard hard world.  Even the talented get shafted.

I watched Supernatural.  Sam's grandfather becomes possessed by a killer parasite.  Sam has to put the old guy out of his misery.  Bang!  Pistol shot straight to the head.  Now that's entertainment.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I refuse to live my life like some filthy nihilist.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 5 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the newspaper.  

A doctor in Seoul accidentally killed his girlfriend.  The cause of death was an overdose.  He left the poor woman's body in a parking lot.  Then he ran away.  The doctor's prison sentence is light.  He only has to serve two years.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five talked about the state of the economy.  They think that raising the minimum wage is a bad idea.  They might be right.  Nevertheless, people gotta eat.

I drove Jim to school.  We listened to early Genesis featuring Peter Gabriel.  Let's face it.  My youth is gone.  I'm just an aging toothless hillbilly flying through life by the seat of my pants.  Rock and roll ain't gonna cure me.

It's currently 3:45 p.m.  I'm killing time.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Thursday

(Supernatural:  I love the show because my IQ is low.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served steak and French fries for dinner.  The meal was good.  But my wife cooks with a lot of spice, so I often suffer from the squirts.  Don't laugh.  My affliction is quite discomforting.

I watched House of Cards.  Sadly, I'm not intelligent enough to enjoy the show.  Kevin Spacey's character is the congressional majority whip.  He's always wheeling and dealing.  His wife is played by Robin Wright.  Wasn't she married to Sean Penn back in the day?

Supernatural is more my speed.  The series caters to morons.  I enjoyed a great episode.  Mannequins are possessed by an angry ghost.  They kill guilty men with butcher knives.  Talk about entertainment.  Blood.  Blood.  And more blood.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Rinaldo is ranked as the best soccer player in the world.  He edged out Messi by a couple of votes.  I'm American.  I don't know much about the sport.  It bores me to death.

I turned on Fox News.  Rubio gave the rebuttal to the state of the union address.  He drank bottled water while on television.  The media is going nuts.  Republicans are reviled by the New York and Los Angeles libs.

I drove Jim to school.  We listened to Frank Zappa's rendition of Stairway to Heaven.  For a moment, I actually thought I was cool.  The feeling soon passed.

It's currently 6:30 p.m.  I'm relaxing on my sofa.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Wednesday

(Zerohedge:  I'll be back!)

Yesterday, I spammed Zerohedge.  It's one of my favorite hobbies.  Teasing idolaters is a hoot.  Money is serious business to those zombies.  They get so angry that they literally shit in their hats.  No kidding.

Sadly, I got nabbed and vaporized.  Alas, Bob the Horse is dead.  The morning moderator is a real fascist.  He can go take a flying screw at a rolling donut.  Bastard.

The Dragon Lady made egg rolls for dinner.  Poor old Smith is tired of egg rolls.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles like a champ.  I'm wonderful that way.

I downloaded a show called House of Cards.  The series was created by Netflix.  It stars Kevin Spacey.  I like Spacey.  He has a powerful screen presence.  Unfortunately, I'm far too stupid to appreciate the program.  I'm more of a Supernatural moron.

South Korea has the fastest internet on the planet.  For example, I can steal an episode of The Big Bang Theory in roughly one minute.  The speed is blazing.  My downloads often get as high 8.0 mbs.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Our Father on bended knees.  The ways of the Lord are mysterious.  I try my best best not to piss Him off.  I usually fail.

I went to sleep at 1 a.m.  I had a strange dream.  I was kidnapped by one of my former friends.  His name is Sheldon, and he's a hillbilly from West Virginia.  Sheldon threatened to kill me and send my severed head back to my wife.

I woke up at 8 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  North Korea tested a nuclear weapon.  What a belligerent nation.  Even the Chinese can't control them.

I turned on Fox News.  Christopher Dorner is dead.  He was burned alive in Big Bear, California.  Revenge never works.  It's better just to forgive and forget.

The time is currently 11:45 a.m.  President Obama is talking more bullshit.

Anyway, so long for now.  And God bless.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Tuesday

(Pizza Hut in Korea is way too expensive.)

Yesterday, we went to Pizza Hut for dinner.  I can't eat cheese, so I had to order my pie with just sauce and pepperoni.  The meal was delicious.  However, the price tag was far too high.  77 freaking dollars. 

Poor old Smith isn't made of money.  No more restaurants.  I've decided to chain the Dragon Lady to the stove instead.  That should save us a few bucks.

We drove back to our Soviet-style concrete tenement.  I helped Jim set up his new Samsung computer.  It came equipped with Windows 8.  I don't know jack about technology.  But my boy is all excited.

I watched a show called Shameless.  I downloaded it here.  It's a strange series about a white trash family  living in Chicago.  I'm not sure if I like the program.  I'll have to give it some careful thought.

I'm still enjoying season five of The Sopranos.  Feetch Lamana--played by veteran actor Robert Loggia--is becoming a huge problem.  Tony will probably kill him.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 8 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Three North Korean medical doctors were slaughtered in Nigeria.  One was actually beheaded.  Radical Islamists are taking credit for the murders. 

Make no mistake.  Muslims are nuts.  I don't want to sound like a bigot.  But you can't run from the truth.  Those freaking lunatics will be the death of us all.  Just wait till they get their filthy hands on weaponized small pox.  Wow.  Scary stuff.

I turned on Fox News.  The man who killed Bin Laden has been discharged from the Navy.  He and his family have no income or health insurance.  Not a surprise.  America often throws its veterans under the bus.

It's currently 11:30 a.m.  I might go for a walk.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Sunday

(I've never been counted amongst the best and the brightest.)

Yesterday, I took the family to church.  Driving in Korea is absolute lunacy.  You should witness the taxis and buses.  They steadfastly refuse to follow the basic traffic laws.  And it's hard to find a cop anywhere.  Talk about death on wheels.  Needless to say, I used the f-word several times.  Can you blame me?  Poor old Smith is just a toothless hillbilly praying for deliverance.

My pastor graduated from Yale.  He's a card-carrying member of the Ivy League Mafia.  But I don't hold his education against him.  The sermon focused on Exodus 1.  His words were very eloquent and thought-provoking.  He sees the Moses story as a metaphor for Jesus Christ.  I completely agree.

We ate dinner at McDonald's.  I had a Quarterpounder with French fries while the Children of the Rice munched on McNuggets.  The meal was very greasy.  I caught a bad case of the squirts.

I downloaded Django Unchained.  I didn't enjoy the film.  It's silly and disjointed.  But I'm no judge of art.  Most of my friends rave about Quentin Tarantino.  They claim he's a genius.  Sadly, I'm far too stupid understand his jokes.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Our Father on bended knees.  I refuse to live my life like a filthy atheist.  I need a code.

I went to bed at 1 a.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank coffee.  The newspaper didn't come.  It's lunar new year, and everybody's on vacation.  Bastards.

I yelled at the Dragon Lady.  I'm disappointed with my eldest son's progress in learning Korean.  He can speak the lingo.  However, his writing and reading abilities just aren't up to snuff.  I want better results.  She told me to get bent.

Our Sambu computer crapped the bed.  We drove to E-Mart and bought a Samsung.  The price?  720 dollars.  I'm completely broke.  I don't got a pot to piss in.  Oh well.  At least I still have my health and boyish good looks.

It's almost 10 p.m.  I'll probably watch The Sopranos.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Sunday

(Christopher Dorner:  He'll soon be dead.)

Yesterday, my family went to the public bathhouse.  Saunas are real popular here in Korea.  But I stayed home.  Poor old Smith is very self-conscious.  Why?  I was born with a face that even a mother couldn't love.  So I don't like getting naked in front of people.

The Dragon Lady returned at 5 p.m.  She served steak and egg rolls for dinner.  She cooked the vittles in our wonderful Phillips air-fryer.  I ate dinner in bed.  The experience was marvelous.

I watched the new season of Justified.  Walton Goggins is the most underrated actor in Hollywood.  He plays Boyd Crowder, a violent Kentucky hillbilly who sells drugs to country rubes.  Justified was created by the famous crime writer Elmore Leonard.  You'll love the program.

I downloaded the History Channel's Hatfields and McCoys.  The show features Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton as the patriarchs of their respective clans.  This is the greatest mini-series I've ever seen.  Pure art.  The film is almost biblical in scope.  Genesis 34 immediately springs to mind.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 1 a.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 9 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the newspaper.  Goldman recently cut Korea's growth expectations.  They say Japan's currency devaluation will cripple the peninsula's exports.  2013 might be the year when the globe experiences another Lehman event.  Europe can't last forever.

I turned on Fox News.  There's a maniac loose in California.  His name is Christopher Dorner, and he has a serious vendetta against cops after getting fired from the Los Angeles police force.  Mr. Dorner will soon be shot down like a rabid dog.  Jesus is right.  You must forgive, or you'll go crazy.

It's 11:50 a.m.  Almost time for church.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Saturday

(Lunar New Year:  Koreans prepare a meal for their dead relatives.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady went to E-Mart.  She shopped for groceries.  I didn't go.  It was too cold outside.  This winter has been quite harsh.  What poor old Smith needs is some good old-fashioned global warming.  I'm freezing to death.

My eldest son Jim has an I-pod.  I face-timed my mother and sister.  Technology is wonderful.  Mom's long-term boyfriend recently had major heart surgery.  He's doing better.  However, he contracted shingles last week, and the meds aren't working.  There's no cure for life.

We had pork and French fries for dinner.  It's my contention that pork is underrated.  The meat should be celebrated.  I blame the crazy Jews and Muslims.  Those desert people don't know shit.

I watched Supernatural.  Sam and Dean go to battle against a crazy evil spider man.  Sam's a giant.  He's bigger than Goliath.  He decapitates the creature with a single machete blow.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  Who needs that garbage?

I went to bed at 1 a.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Lunar New Year is right around the corner.  Korean women don't like the holiday.  They find it very stressful because they have to prepare all the goodies for the family feast.

I turned on Fox News.  There's a huge snow storm hitting the American east coast.  I spent time in Connecticut as a child.  My former town is getting blasted with two feet of snow.  Sounds like fun.

It's currently 8:30 a.m.  I'm wearing socks.  The apartment is chilly.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Friday

(President Obama:  The joke's on us.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made steak and French fries for dinner.  She cooked the vittles in our fabulous Phillips air-fryer.  What a wonderful machine.  I highly recommend it.  The food tasted great--especially the fries.  Nice and hot and crispy.

I watched several episodes of Supernatural.  Perhaps I'm retarded.  Nevertheless, I love the show.  My favorite character is Cass.  Human behavior often leaves him confused.  Great stuff.

I'm currently enjoying season five of The Sopranos.  Carmella is sick and tired of Tony's evil ways.  So she's filing for divorce.  Steve Buscemi and Robert Loggia are the new guest stars.  I very much enjoy the work of both actors.  They're real pros.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  And why not?  I refuse to live my life like some type of filthy misanthrope.

I went to sleep at 11 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I was standing on a castle wall with a bunch of strangers.  A large army was coming to slaughter us.  However, I felt no sense of panic.  We calmly had our arms around each others' shoulders.  And we sang loudly while preparing for war.

I woke up at 8 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Cabbies in Seoul often rip tourists off.  The city is now offering a 500 dollar reward for each swindler brought to justice.  There's no tipping in Korea.  Taxi drivers don't make much money.

I turned on Fox News.  Obama is now allowed to kill expatriate Americans without a trial.  No kidding.  He simply has to believe the citizen in question is a terrorist.  Pat Buchanan says the president is full of shit.  So do I.

It's 12:50 p.m.  The Dragon Lady is shopping at E-Mart.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Thursday

(Titus Andronicus:  It's a wild ride.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made egg rolls for dinner.  I ate them in bed.  They were smothered in chili sauce.  The experience was nice.

I completed season four of The Sopranos.  Ralph's murder is quite shocking.  Tony beats him to death with his fists.  Then the gangster's body is dismembered in the bathtub.  Now that's what I call entertainment.

Shakespeare's first tragedy is Titus Andronicus.  It's the most violent work of literature ever written.  Titus makes The Sopranos look like Romper Room.  There's a fabulous film adaptation featuring Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lange.  People love blood.  Always have.  Always will.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I believe in the resurrection and the life.  Perhaps I'm insane.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 7 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  A Nigerian man was arrested 30 miles south of Seoul.  He stands accused of raping a 23-year-old British woman.  She was very drunk when he lured her into his car.  Ladies need to be careful.  We live in a dangerous world.

I turned on Fox News.  O'Reilly says that young people have no respect for their elders.  He's very angry at an 18-year-old girl named Ms. Soto.  She flipped off a judge and got 30 days in jail for criminal contempt of court.  Bill thinks she had it coming.  He's as happy as a pig in shit.

I got my teeth cleaned.  The experience was quite painful.  Dental hygiene isn't my strong suit.  The poor dentist had to grind away at my choppers like he was removing barnacles from the hull of a ship.  My gums are still bleeding.

It's 4:25 p.m.  Time for dinner.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Wednesday

(King Richard's remains have been found.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served steak for dinner.  The meal was good.  She cooked the vittles in our Phillips air-fryer.  What a fantastic machine.  Technology certainly makes life easier.

I watched Weeds.  I like the show a lot.  Vice is ugly stuff.  On the surface, selling marijuana might seem cute.  But the drug business attracts murderous villains. 

Just ask the Mexicans.  Those poor people are involved in an actual civil war fueled by narcotics.  I believe in legalization.  Let's take the money out of dope.

I'm currently enjoying season four of The Sopranos.  There's a great deal of tension between Tony and Ralph.  The shit's about to hit the fan.  Ralph's going to get killed over a stupid race horse.  I can feel it in my bones.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a strange dream.  I smoked many cigarettes in the shower while viewing MASH.  I was nabbed by several teenagers who were peeking through a window.  They reported me to the proper authorities.

I woke up at 7 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Six foreigners from Malaysia and Singapore got caught using fake credit cards in Seoul.  They purchased half a million dollars worth of goods at high end retail stores.  Asians love to shop.

I turned on Fox News.  The remains of Richard III were found under a parking lot in Leicester, England.  Far out.  He's the subject of my favorite play by Shakespeare.  I wonder if Richard actually killed his two nephews.  I smell Tudor bullshit.

It's 3 p.m.  I shall drink Coke and eat pretzels.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Tuesday

(Ray Lewis is a polarizing figure.)

Yesterday, I watched the Super Bowl.  Thank God for the internet.  I can still view sports and my favorite television shows due to technology. 

The Ravens won.  I wasn't surprised.  Baltimore seemed like a team of destiny.  They had to defeat some very tough squads--Denver, New England, etc.--to lift that trophy over their heads.

Many Americans are upset with the outcome.  Ray Lewis is a polarizing figure.  He's still remembered for the murders in Atlanta.  Jesus Christ is right.  The sun shines on the just and unjust alike.

I played NCAA Football on the Sony.  I created my own team.  Isn't that cool?  I also designed a stadium.  It's located in Maine.  My running back is in the hunt for the Heisman Trophy.  But my quarterback sucks ass.  He keeps throwing picks.  Bastard.

I'm currently enjoying season four of The Sopranos.  The gangsters are very offended when a group of Indians starts badmouthing Christopher Columbus.  Tony screams at all his underlings for acting like a bunch of sissies.  He asks them to be strong and silent like Gary Cooper.  Funny stuff. 

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  And why not?  I refuse to worship at the altar of man. 

I went to bed at 9 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Korean comedians recently received a warning for lampooning President Park.  The peninsula isn't exactly a hotbed of free speech.  The slander and libel laws are quite draconian.  You got to watch what you say.

I turned on Fox News.  The hostage situation in Alabama is over.  The FBI shot and killed Jimmy Lee Dykes.  The little autistic boy is safe and has been returned to his family.  Mr. Dykes was a strange old coot. 

It's 7:50 p.m.  I'm sitting on the sofa.  My feet are cold.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Monday

(Chris Kyle:  The American Sniper was gunned down at a shooting range.)

Yesterday, I hiked ten miles through the rice paddies.  I had a good time.  I enjoy exercise.  It helps cut my stress level.  Poor old Smith is an anxious sensitive boy.  I worry constantly.  My demons have demons.

I took the family to church.  Driving on the peninsula is ridiculous.  I said the f-word over and over again.  Koreans must not be allowed to purchase cars.  Instead, each family should be issued a horse and buggy.  So let it be written, so let it be done.

The sermon was outstanding.  We focused on Mark 16.  My pastor is a card-carrying member of the Ivy League Mafia.  He graduated from Yale.  But I don't hold his education against him.  I'm marvelous that way.

We went to McDonald's for dinner.  I had a Quarterpounder with French fries while the Children of the Rice enjoyed McNuggets.  The Dragon Lady didn't eat.  She doesn't like fast food.

I was mean to my eldest son Jim.  I want my children to excel in math and science.  I also want them fluent in two languages.  Jim speaks Korean well.  But his writing and reading skills are weak.

I said, "That's OK, son.  Not everyone's cut out for college.  There's a great future for you in the military."

He said, "You suck."

Jim's right.  I do suck.  I certainly don't want to be one of those fathers who tortures his children.  But I expect results.  Plain and simple.

We returned to our Soviet-style concrete tenement.  I couldn't find a parking spot.  So I had to drive to the second floor of the underground garage.

I watched a Die Hard marathon on the Super Action Channel.  What great movies.  Bruce Willis is an entertaining guy.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I believe in the good news of the resurrection.  Jesus defeated death and sin.

I went to bed at 9 p.m.  I had a nightmare.  I screamed several times in my sleep.  I woke up at 5 a.m.

I drank coffee and read the paper.  Six U.S. soldiers were arrested for sexually harassing a 20-year-old woman on the subway.  Those guys are going to get burned.  Koreans hate Americans.  And they have a lot of power under the current SOFA agreement.  Good luck getting a fair trial. 

I turned on Fox News.  Chris Kyle, a talented sniper, was a member of the Navy Seals.  He had 150 confirmed kills.  That's a lot of blood.  He was also famous for supposedly kicking Jesse Ventura's ass.  Klye was murdered at a shooting range by a Marine with PTSD.  Even tough guys don't last forever.

It's currently 7:30 p.m.  I'll try to watch the Super Bowl.  Go Ravens.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Sunday

(Mel Gibson: A great film director.)

Yesterday morning, I had a hankering for pumpkin pie.  So I hiked five miles to my favorite restaurant.  When I got there, the place was closed.  What a kick in the pants.  No matter.  I really needed the exercise.  Walking is great stress relief.

I returned to my Soviet-style concrete tenement.  I spent the afternoon watching CSI New York.  I pay for a cable package called Qook TV.  I get a lot of programs in English.  Plus it comes with an impressive video on demand list--not to mention phone and internet.

The Dragon Lady bought me a new pair of shoes.  She spent 100 dollars.  That's way too much for my liking.  Poor old Smith is an off-brand kind of guy.

I had steak for dinner.  My wife burned the meal.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm a marvelous human being.

I viewed a Mel Gibson movie.  He plays a cop in Boston.  I'm still pissed at Gibson.  He's a man of great vision.  I love The Passion of the Christ, Braveheart, and Apocalypto.  Those films are so powerful that they'll burn a hole in your brain.

Anyway, Mel's next opus was supposed to be a Viking flick starring Leonardo DiCaprio.  Then the idiot got drunk and badmouthed the Jews.  Being an anti-Semite in Hollywood is suicide.  Now his career's in the toilet.  I'm a sensitive boy.  I mourn his fall.  The world lost a great artist.

I prayed to the Christ God.  I said the Our Father on bended knees.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 7 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 3 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  A Korean man got caught selling 10 tabs of ecstasy in the Philippines.  He was given a life sentence.  Talk about harsh.  Asians are real strict when it comes to drugs.  They have zero tolerance for dope.

I turned on Fox News.  There's a hostage crisis in Alabama.  A strange old coot named Jimmy Lee Dykes murdered a school bus driver with a pistol.  Then he stole a five-year-old autistic boy.  The FBI is working feverishly to rescue the child.  What a nightmare.

It's currently 5:35 a.m.  I shall walk another ten miles.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Saturday

(We live in an evil world.  So let's try our best to be good.)

Yesterday, I used my Phillips air-fryer to make French fries.  I burned the first batch.  It wasn't the machine's fault.  I must take full responsibility.  The second batch turned out wonderful.  Poor old Smith deserves his own cooking show.

I watched a sitcom called Weeds.  Kevin Nealon is very funny.  He used to be on Saturday Night Live.  Weeds is extremely liberal.  But what do I care?  I'm not a member of the Moral Majority.  The series is a lot of fun. 

Let's face reality.  Leftists and Commies are very creative.  Black people are good at basketball.  And homosexuals are the best hairdressers in the world.  Thems just the facts.  I didn't invent the rules.

I completed season three of The Sopranos.  Wow.  Intense stuff.  Tony breaks it off with Gloria.  In response, she threatens to go to Columbia University and embarrass his daughter.  Gloria finally sees the light when one of Tony's gangster friends holds a gun to her chest and threatens to blow her nipples off.

I played more NCAA Football.  The power suddenly went out in the entire apartment complex.  All the data was lost.  I had to start from scratch.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  And why not?  Nihilism has no future.

I went to bed at 4 p.m.  I dreamed about John Wayne.  He punched me right on the nose--even though I'm a huge fan.  I woke up at 4 a.m.  That's twelve hours of sleep.  I must've been exhausted.

I drank coffee and read the paper.  A Korean man named Koh was given a life sentence.  He's from the town of Naju.  Koh raped an eight-year-old girl.  Then he unsuccessfully tried to murder the child. His attack was so brutal that she needed several operations to repair her sexual organs.

We live in a rotten world.  Our planet is filled with evil.  Nevertheless, I'm against the death penalty.  Mistakes get made all the time.  History has taught us one undeniable lesson.  Government has a bad habit of killing the righteous.

I turned on Fox News.  157,000 jobs were added to the American economy in the month of January.  However, the unemployment rate rose to 7.9 percent.  We've been in this global recession for the past five years.  When will it end? 

It's 6:30 a.m.  I shall cook French fries.  Then I'll hike ten miles.  I have a hankering for pumpkin pie.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Thursday

(Grimm:  Yes, I'm that desperate for entertainment.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made sweet and sour pork for dinner.  The meal was good.  It came with egg rolls.  My wife is the egg roll queen.

I watched a show called Grimm.  Fairy tale creatures come to life and murder innocent citizens.  A handsome cop must protect the world from their evil.  I download all my television at this site

I'm not sure if Grimm is good or bad.  Poor old Smith is desperate for entertainment.  Sometimes the line between quality and crap gets a little blurry.

I'm still enjoying season three of The Sopranos.  Tony is cheating on Carmella with Gloria.  Gloria sells cars at a place called Globe Mercedes.  She's crazy.  In a fit of rage, she hits Tony on the back of the head with a Porterhouse steak.

I played more NCAA Football.  This time I created a team.  How cool is that?  You're even allowed to construct your own stadium.  Back in my day, all we had was Atari.  Talk about a piece of shit.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 6 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 2 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.

Koreans are the biggest buyers of sex from minors in south east Asia.  They flock to places like Thailand and Cambodia in pursuit of underage girls.  Men love to get their rocks off.  They'll risk years and years of incarceration just for an orgasm.  Go figure.

I turned on Fox News.  There was a mass murder in Arizona.  Several people died from gunshot wounds.  The culprit committed suicide before the police could apprehend him.  

It's currently 3:45 a.m.  I need to take a shower.  I feel itchy.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.